


Invader Roz: An IZ Sequel

by Gigilefache



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Almighty Tallest Zim (Invader Zim), Blood, Future Fic, Gen, Post-Season/Series 02 AU, Timeskip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-04 18:00:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 47,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20475227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gigilefache/pseuds/Gigilefache
Summary: After the twenty year gap of no alien invasions, a new, fairly young invader comes to Earth and believes she is the one who will take it over. However, there is a specific Earth dweller, who doesn't take Roz with kindness, and isn't as oblivious to her as everyone else is.





	1. A New Nightmare Begins

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequal/post series AU that takes place 20 years after the original invader zim series. This features OCs but its decent I promise. Zim is also way taller. The story is also on Wattpad. Some chapters are long and some are short.
> 
> This story is a WIP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The great assigning is about to commence. A young Irken, who probably just escaped military training, rushes to the stage to get her mission from the tallest.

Enter Conventia. The convention hall planet. 

An anouncer loudly states: "Welcome to Conventia, the convention hall planet! Please park your vehicle in the docking ring and use the surface teleporters."

The planets surface is crowded in screens displaying footage of the announcer, images of a green monkey, and tall figure with a large crown and hot pink eyes giving a disgusting light pink grin. The buildings were of odd structure; their shapes not natural, and their roads not straight, and littered with garbage. Each price of garbage had the same coppied image of the icky tall figure.

"For any Irken attending the Great Assigning, proceed to the main convention hall." 

Crowds of alien beings known as the Irken flood through the garbage littered streets like a green sea of snot. Each one going to the same building to watch the Great Assigning. An event hosted to assign Irken soldiers the task of invading. A younger Irken among them runs and shoves through the crowds in order to get to the hall.

"And please don't forget to stop by the gift shops and pick up your outstanding, gorgeous, worthwhile merchandise of our Almighty Tallest!" The announcer starts to cry and eventualy breaks out into uncontrollable sobbing. "I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE!" a loud SILENCE is heard off screen and laser is fired at the announcer's head. The feed cuts off.

The main convention hall on the surface was absolutely covered in short green aliens. The younger Irken, now shoving people to the ground and kicking harshly to get through, is being pursued by two taller figures. One red, and one purple with a bag of chips in hand.

An almost robotic voice spoke over the crowd instead of the announcer who was now dead. " Now everyone, imediateley wiggle your antennae in salute and praise for..."

The younger Irken kept running. A platform begins to lower from the ceiling of the hall.

"The greatest Irken ever created..."

The younger Irken almost makes it to the front of the stage. Clouds of smoke, lasers, and big fireworks start up.

"Our almighty..."

The younger Irken is caught by the red and purple duo. The red Irken shouts at a whispering volune to the other chip crumb covered purple Irken. 

"Common Purple help me hold this kid."

"MphMphh!" The purple Irken finishes swallowing their snack. "I am I am."

The platform lowers and it is clear a tall figure is snanding on it. Their hight looks slightly exadurated. The emotionfull robotic voice speaks again.

"Tallest Zim!"

Fireworks pop off at almost everycorner in the building. Antennae wiggle and chears erupt in the crowd. The platform descends with the Tallest Zim on it he postures his arms on his hips looking almost too print of himself. More fireworks go off depicting his face.

The younger Irken's eyes light up as she attempts to escape.

"Oh no you don't" says Purple. The younger Irken is heals back once again.

The platform reaches the floor and the Tallest Zim is handed a microphone by a smaller stage worker Irken. Zim snatches this microphone and completely ignores the stage worker. The stage worker runs off stage.

"SCILENCE! SCILENCE YOU INFERIOR IRKENS."

The whole planet seems to go silent for a minute until one voice speaks up in the crowd.

"Booo!"

"WHO SAID THAT!"

"I did" said a tiny voice in the ocean of aliens.

The Tallest growled at this remark. "GIRT!" 

A three headed robot twice the size of Zim quickly defended from the ceiling and came crashing to the ground in a great thud. It's eyes lit up red.

"Yes master?"

The tallest did not speak. He pointed to the voice in the crowd. The three headed robotic unit walked over to the voice in response. However he did not eliminate the voice and instead gave it a hug.

"I love you monkey man." Girt said to the Irken as his six eyes turned blue.

The tallest Zim slapped his face with his hand and gave a sigh as his fingers dragged his pink eye lids down.

"No Girt-Hmm...you know what? SCOODGE!" 

This time, an Irken fell from the ceiling with a thud. This Irken was slightly larger than Zim and was wearing a pink mech suit that made him look much taller than Zim.

The Tallest Zim turned twords Scoodge, head in his claw. "Scoodge please dispose of this" Zim swiftly took his hand off of his head and directed it at the voice. "ANNOYING INFERIOR." 

Scoodge walked over to the voice. "Sorry about this." His tone is empathetic. A change from the rest of the Irkens. Scoodge picked up the Irken, spun them around like a propeller, and threw them through the roof of the convention hall leaving a hole. The irken screaming all the way. Scoodge turned around at Zim and gave a thumbs up.

"Didn't he concur Blorch, home of the slaughtering rat people?" Whispered Red to Purple. Still restraining the young Irken.

"I think that was invader Larb." Purple whispered back. "Hey you want a chip?"

"I bought them." Read snatched the bag. He felt the bag and became puzzled. He shook it upside down"It's empty."

"Sorry." Said Purple.

The Tallest Zim continues back on the stage. "As I was saying..." screens pop up behind Zim with all different Irken faces. "It is now time to assign!"

The crowd cheers.

"I'M NOT FINISHED"

The crowd silences. 

"It is now time to assign these devoted few the role of invader. But just know you are all still inferior to me. THE MIGHTY ZIM!"

The crowd cheers again. The younger Irken tries to break free of the locked grip she is under. This is not successful but she keeps trying anyway.

"You know I remember when I was an invader. I was oh so successful in my conquests."

Another irken screams off stage. "But you didn't do anything-" Scoodge throws them out creating another hole in the cealing. This Irken screams aswell. Zim continues.

"I was very successful," he proclaims proudly "you all will be less successful. Just hope you can come close."

The screen behind Zim changes from many pictures of Irkens to one picture of a particular Irken. 

"Up first is invader Snot."

The crowd cheers as the small stature, tiny orange eyed Snot walks up to the Tallest and salutes. His antennae are fairly short and one of them looks broken."Invader Snot reporting for duty."

Tallest Zim turns to Snot. The screen behind them changes to an image of little colorful cat puppy looking creatures.

"Oh this doesn't seem so bad" stated Snot.

The picture changes to the same creatures, but they are horrifying monstrosities that bear rows of sharp teeth and multiple eyes, some glowing and some dark. 

"You will be responsible for invading Sylvestra. Home of the Snarlbeasts."

Snot bites his lower mouth part and tries not to cry. Scoodge carries him off stage. 

"NEXT!" Zim screams. "Invader Smitch!"

The Red and Purple Irkens, still restraining the young green child. Start a conversation now eating a full meal of snacks and sodas.

"Hey...chmph...remember when we used to do this?" Said Purple.

"Yeah...chmph...those were the days...chmph." Said Red in a longing tone of voice.

"We didn't even have to do anything."

"I know I miss it. Hey remember when we shot them through can-kid could you stay still?"

The young Irken was squirming more violently now. She was about to become free. Red tried to restrain the little Irken 

"Hey stay still-"

The young Irken bit Red's arm in retaliation.

"Yeow!" Red arm went flying.

"My Arm!" He knocked over A red soda Purple was drinking by accident .

"My drink!"

The young Irken was free and was making a beeline towards the stage. 

"AND LASTLY!" Zim shouted. "Invader Gunk!"

The crowd cheered extra loudly for Gunk. A tall, lanky Irken, donning a yellow uniform with the Irken logo on it. Their eyes were also a cat like yellow, and their antennae were swirled at the end.

"Invader Gunk. Due to your 'slightly better than everyone else' efforts both in Irken military and in the Irken science feild, as well as what you did saving lives during the "Irken moon Explosia explosion incident-" 

"That you caused" came from a voice in the crowd followed by yet another ceiling hole and more screaming.

"You will be invading..."  
Tallest Zim turned to the changed screen behind him. A picture of a green planet covered in blue water, albeit not very clean, was presented. Zim looked at the screen and went silent. Eyes wide and antennae down he stood looking at the screen for a solid minute before shaking his head and turning back to Gunk.

"Planet...Planet...uh..."

Scoodge whispered to Zim. "Planet Earth."

"I know that. PLANET URTH!"

The crowd cheers once more. Yet another voice comes from the green sea.

"Hey isn't that the planet the Tallest tried to c-"

They were shoved aside by the younger Irken before another hole could be created in the ceiling.

The young Irken was so close. They could almost reach the stage.

"Alright. were done here." The Tallest Zim stated. "All invaders can go get their first edition neo SIR units in the equipment hall. Gir! Scoodge! Get on the platform!"

"Yes sir!"  
"Yes sir!"

The trio begun to ascend on the platform Zim cam in through. Loads of shouting and cheering erupted from the crowd. More fireworks erupted, all with Zim's face. Zim gave a maniacal laugh and all seemed to end smoothly until one young Irken who just reached the stage shouted:

"WAIT!"

👽👽👽

"Eh?"

All excitement stopped. The cheering stopped, the fireworks stopped, and the rising platform lowered. The Tallest Zim looked down into the crowd. 

"Who dares interupt MY amazing leaving."

"You forgot me!"

The young Irken stepped harshly on another Irken causing their head to swell. The injured Irken flailed their tiny arms as the young Irken climbed above them up to the stage.

"My Tallest! My Tallest! I was supposed to get my assigning too!"

There was a long pause. Everyone stared in silence. 

"Who is this puny Irken smeet child?" Zim questioned.

The young Irken stood on the stage and saluted. "Invader Roz ready for assigning sir!"

The whole hall stood silent again. And then the whole planet erupted in laughter.

"Ahahaha! ohoho! This has to be a joke! Ahahahah!"

"It's not a joke sir. I submitted my application. Here's a copy."

The "application paper copy" had the words 'I want to be an invader accept my proposal' written on it in Irken lettering. Under it was Roz's signature and a crude drawing of Roz with the word 'me' also written in Irken lettering. Roz shoved the "aplication copy" in Zim's face. 

"See. I made multiple copies. And I sent them in everyday for a year. You must have forgot."

The crowd arrupted with more laughter. The only Irken not laughing was Roz. Zim was on the floor crying with laughter. Red and Purple choked on their laughter and on their snack bites. 

"Is this kid for real?" Howled Purple.

Red added "This is the funniest thing I've ever heard in years!"

Other voices in the crowd were heard. "This ones defective for sure." "How did it get out of the military training area?" "Are we gonna have another bunch of 'Zim situations' because of this?" This last response prompted another ceiling hole and more screaming.

Roz didn't hear any of it. She was only focused on what she believed was the truth.

"It's a funny mishap I know. I'm ready for my mission now."

Roz stood confident as if there was nobody making fun of her accusations.

"Listen young smeet." Invader Gunk walked in whiping away tears of laughter. They put their hand on Roz's shoilder. "There is a big process involved in being an invader. You have to go through intense grueling training. Not applications. You can't do it yet."

Roz shoved Gunk's hand off of her shoulder. "I can do what I want!" Laughter continued to erupt across the hall. Roz continued to ignore.

"And I'm not a smeet I'm well over that." 

"You should show some respect." Stated Gunk.

"Why should I show you respect I don't even know you!"

"Tsk...Rude."

"I'm not the one intruding in other Irken's business."

An invader-to-be from the sidelines spoke up. "Hey kid do you know who you're talking too?"

"No. I just said I don't even know who this 'Gunk' is. They must not be that great."

The laughter got louder. 

"Why you disgusting little twit." Gunk became embarased and irritated.

"The tallest must have made a mistake making you an Invader! That role should have gone to me! At least I'm not some stuck up almighty fake poster for the empire! The Tallest clearly made a stupid mistake! It's a shame. It makes him look stupid too!"

The laughter died down immensely. 

Zim turned to the Roz. "What did you just say?"

"I said your mistake makes you look stupid."

"EXUSE ME!"

Scoodge walked up to Roz and picked her up. 

"So I'm going to get my mission right. I'm going to get my invader status."

"THOW THIS IGNORANT SMEET CHILD!"

And with one swing Roz was flying out of the convention hall. Putting yet another hole in the ceiling.

Back in the hall everything resumed as normal. Irkens cheered at the Tallest and the fireworks went off again.

Outside however it was a different story. 

Roz lay on the ground. Face bashed and budged in. Dark Purple marks and a brused protruding teal eye. 

She got up off of the ground, pushed her eye in and shook off the dirt. 

"They didn't even give me my neo SIR unit. Hmph."

The little Irken walked towards the teleported and from there to the docking ring.

As Roz walked in the direction of a bus ship she noticed a clean, shiny, green ship spotted in the distance. Walking in a new direction she noticed writing on the ship. 

"For the second greatest Irken."

"That must be for me!" Roz concluded.

"They didn't forget me entirely. I knew they wouldnt."

Rod climes in the ship and inspected it. Laser buttons, snack compartments, weapon compartments, cup holders, and nice clean screens. This ship had it all. As soon as Roz got used to her new toy she saw Invader Gunk coming up to the ship with a first edition neo SIR unit. 

Roz hid behind the ship's chair. "What's that theif doing now? And with MY SIR unit no less."

Gunk approached the ship and opened it. After getting in they started the engines.

"Computer!" Gunk comanded.

"Yes sir."

"Set a course for Earth."

"Copy."

About an hour had passed in the ship. It was now in the midst of space.

"I still can't get over that annoying little defect. 'Duh I'm an invader and I'm only a smeet duh.' And she called me a 'fake poster.' Does she know who I am. And then she insulted the Tallest on top of it. Now that's one thing you don't do. You'll get the whole empire killed in his stupid tantrum that way."

Neither the computer nor the SIR unit awsered.

Roz thought to herself behind the chair. This theif is insulting the Tallest now? And who is this smeet. Whoever this smeet was they clearly were on the same page as me. 

"That stupid ignorant Rod. Was it Riz? Oh no wait it was Roz." 

"Ignorant?" Roz yelled. Gunk screamed in response. 

"W-what are you doing in my ship?"

"Your ship? This ship clearly belongs to me!"

"Your crazy!"

"Your the one who infiltrated and stole my ship! And my neo SIR unit! And my mission!"

"Computer open the-AAAA!"

Roz lunged at Gunk. She hit Gunk as hard and determined as she could with her small hands. Gunk fought back in retaliation. It was as if two green rodents were fighting over a small nut. 

The SIR unit attempted to shoot Roz with a laser blast but before it could it was hit in the eye by Roz's foot. This cracked the SIR units eye causing it to fall to the floor as if it were unconscious.

"My neo SIR unit!"

"It's not yours." Growled Roz. "It's MINE!"

with the quick press of a button Gunk was ejected into the cold reaches of space at light speed. 

Gunk was gone. Roz jumped into the ships seat. 

"That'll teach them to steal from me. Roz! The second greatest Irken ever! And now...im an invader." The last sentence was pronounced with the joy a child would feel when they're getting something they want.

"Computer!"

"Oh great."

"Set a course for Earth." 

"It's already been set, and I'm not your computer."

"That's what I like to hear."

Roz, feeling triumphant, gave a laugh most maniacal. 

"Ahahahahahhaha! Watch out Earth. Your about to meet your doom."

👽👽👽

It had been six months. Six months since Conventia. 

"So comuter."

"Sigh...What."

"You got anything to eat?"

"You ate everything remember?"

"Wrong! I didn't eat everything!"

"sigh."

At that moment the neo SIR unit finaly became active again. Roz turned to the unit.

"Oh good your active again."

The SIR didn't move. It's one unbroken eye glowed red. It sat up.

There was a long pause before the unit started laughing for no reason. It's eyes changed to a bright teal color, and it started rolling around on the floor.

"Your dumb" Roz stated.

"I'm dum." The unit talked back in a squeaky robotic voice. "I'm dum."

"Hey!" The unit shouted. 

"What?"

"Where are we going?" 

"Did they give me a defective one by mistake? We are going to earth."

"..."

"The mission?"

"...Oohh. I remembers." 

"You really are dumb aren't you? That's what I'm calling you now. Your Dumb now." 

"I'm Dum!"

"Close enough."

The ship was coming up on a planet with green land and blue water. 

"Now approaching Earth." The computer spoke in a tired voice.

"Oh this must be it!" Roz jumped in her seat."Although it looked less ugly at Conventia. It's got grey smoke clouds here."

"It's polluted." Said the computer.

"Thank you computer. Hey Dum!"

The units head turned and they saluted. "Yes sir?"

"Run a scan on Earth's lifeforms."

"Understood."

The ship entered the atmosphere. As it passed by landmarks and nature, Dum showed a screen of Earth's lifeforms and different types of snack foods. 

"Humans: The less than intelligent lifeforms of this planet. And here's a twinkie." The twinkie was a picture of soap, but that did not matter.

"Perfect."Roz grinned and rubbed her hands together."These ho-mans won't know what hit them. Ahahaahahaha!"

She continued to laugh maniacally, Dum joining in laughing regularly.

Eventually they saw a small plot of land in a trash filled, dirty, foul odor filled city.

"There!" Roz pointed. "Computer! Land the ship!"

"Sigh..."

The ship landed and the two got out. Roz pulled out a tablet and a pen she obtained from the ship.

"Alright...show me my options of disguise."

The tablet displayed a screen with multiple disguises passing for a human, Roz glazed through all of them each she found distasteful. 

"To old...no...to smelly...no....to ugly...NO NO NO! These options are all terible! I want something like this!"

Roz started drawing on the pad and mumbling about all the features she wanted her disguise to have. Dum sat in the corner poking worms. They shot the worms with a lazer and started laughing as if it were funny.

"Quiet Dum! You'll alert the ugly ho-mans." She put the drawing pad down. The pad started to transform and was enclosing on her in a cube formation. 

"Now Dum. Witness my most impecable-" the cube was fully enclosed. Roz started screaming uncontrollably in pain for thirty seconds.

The cube opened a door and out stepped Roz in a puff of smoke. Her disguise looked exactly like her, just with pink contacts, a ponytail wig, and a new blue uniform. 

Dum screamed. "WHERE YOU GO? WHERE YOU GO?"

"Shut up Dum. I'm right here. Im in disguise."

"Oooooohhhhh...."

"Now let's find one for you."

The same disguise process was done on Dum but this time there was no screaming. Dum popped out in a disguise that looked like an orange, poorly stuffed animal pig.

Roz looked at Dums disguise questionably. After a minute she decided. "Eh. Close enough." She picked up the drawing pad and the pen. "Now let's do the base!"

She started drawing franticly. Eyes wide and full of delerious joy.

"I want a color like this, and that roof, and I want this mat, and I want these colors and that door-"

She kept going on about the details of the base until she was fully satisfied. A small drill popped out of the pad. Roz put this drill into the ground and backed off with Dum.

The drill quickly went into the ground. Loud rumbling was felt beneath Roz's feet. She looked as her masterpiece was erupting from the ground. She was both proud and excited. A huge disgusting grin plastered on her face.

The base looked like a child's drawing of a house. Not like any other human house, and very colorful. It had an obnoxiously pink outer coloring and a green roof. One window had pink glass and a green frame, the other had blue glass and a pink frame. Both windows were lopsided. There were three steps with sharp grey tube railings, with glowing blue balls at the ends. There was a stone road leading to the house with a purple sign that said "WECOME."

All that was left was to stabalize it. Large grey tentacle tubes shot from the house to the two neighboring houses next to it. One a normal, dirty looking green house. The other, a large blue house with round windows and a round folded roof. This house appeared more clean than the other one, and it had a lightning shaped symbol on the front of it.

The tubes cracked the walls of the houses and made large rumbles. Eventually the noise stopped. Roz stood there happy with her work.

"It's perfect." She wispered. 

Other people opened their windows and inspected where the rumbling came from. Most people were ugly and covered in grease. One guy had a tank top with cheese dust stains. 

A little girl ran out of the blue house exeptionaly fast. She stood and looked at the house in in both horror and awe. She had jet black hair with large bangs and lightning side streaks covered her ears. She had a scythe like ponytail that situated in the back of her head. The wore pajamas with a ghost pattern on them and fluffy slippers. She also sported round glasses, which were hastily put on and appeared tilted.

Another figure ran out of the house in a white lab coat. This one looked like the little girl but was taller, appeared to be an adult man, and had a lightning bolt for hair.

"Mary! Qué estás haciendo-" 

The man stopped in shock after he noticed the new odd looking house that was situated right next to his.

Roz looked around at take the onlookers. "What?" She gave them all a harsh stare. "I dwell here!" She picked up Dum and walked up to the steps. The door lifted up into the base's doorway, Ros walked in the house, and the door slammed shut behind her.

"Ehehehehe." She let out a little laughter. "Those foolish ho-mans will be easy to take over."

Roz ran to the refrigerator that stood in what appeared to be a living room.  
Once inside she slides down a tube that led to a mechanical panel, with screens, cameras, buttons, nobs, and wires. She pressed a button that pulled up a picture of Earth.

"They'll never know what hit am. Ahahahahahahahaha. 

Dum started laughing. "Hehehehehehe."

"Ahahahahah! Laugh with me  
computer!" 

"No."

"Ahahahaha!"


	2. Hello Neighbour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new invader in town, Roz, decides to study human behavior while posing as a human. However, Roz's next door neighbor, will not leave her alone.

It was a bright and sunny day in the town of oblivious humans. Roz and Dum stepped outside their base; both wearing their disguises.

"Alright Dum. We must observe these lowly life forms in order to blend in better. Then we can strike them all and their filthy selves dead!"

"Okey."

"So try not to make a scene."

"Okey."

They stepped away from the base and proceeded down the stone walkway. 

"And be alert. You never know if some filthy life form will try and-"

"HEY!"

"UAAAAGH!"

Rod fell backwards and looked up.

The dark haired, scythe ponytail, glasses wearing girl jumped in front of Roz at the end of the stone road. She continued staring at the Irken.

"H-Huh?"

"Hi."

Roz arose from the ground and looked at the girl in confusion.

The girl sported a pink shirt with a design depicting a dark moth with glowing eyes. Her sneakers were wide Velcro with dark blue straps. She had on a black bandanna around her neck. And her eyes were an unnatural shade of greenish blue She was also incredibly short. Like Roz, but a few inches shorter. She also had a big head upon closer inspection.

"Greetings..." said Roz. She walked past the girl with Dum. The girl continued to follow them down the street.

After about five blocks Roz became uncomfortable and nervous. She turned around to the girl and asked:

"Might I inquire why are you following me?"

"Oh! I'm Mary, your neighbor. I live in the blue house right next to yours."

"That's nice." Roz spoke in an annoyed tone. "Now leave me alone. You smell horrible."

Roz turned around and kept walking. But as quickly as she turned Mary was in front of her.

"AAAH!"

Mary looked at her in a locked stare. She didn't move. She didn't look like she was breathing either. She was perfectly still with a smile from ear to ear.

"So what's your name?"

"M-my name is none of your business!"

"I told you my name."

"Well I don't need to tel you mine!"

"Ok."

Roz walked but Mary kept walking with her.

"So where are you from?"

Roz thought to herself: oh great am I going to have to deal with questions palooza now? Ok think...What is a human sounding location. Try to blend in...

"Ir...um...Shoops...uh...Shoopsville! Yes that's right Shoopsville!"

"Interesting." Mary pulled out a pen and note pad and started writing.

Roz thought to herself in a sweat. Are the Earth lifeforms all this stupid? Why does she have a primitive note taking device?

"Where's your family?"

Family? What's a "family?" "Um... they're...out?"

"Ok."

Roz walked up streets, into stores, through a park and by a dumpster but the questions kept coming and Mary showed no signs of leaving. 

"What's your pigs name?"

"That's not your buisness."

"What's that symbol on your belt?"

"W-why do you need to know?" 

Mary kept taking notes and Roz became increasingly uncomfortable. Roz looked straight ahead. Sweat running down her green head. Veins started to show and pump out of frustration. She thiught to herself: I need to get rid of this. This annoying, hideous, smelly, Meat headed organism. 

"Hey what's this thing on your back?" Mary pointed to Roz's pak. Her brain.

"You are the most annoying thing I've ever come across in my entire existence!"

"Can you awnser the question?"

"No! Can you go away?" 

"What does it do?"

"Ah! Don't touch my pak!"

"What's a pak?"

Roz realized what she had just said.  
"It's my...my uh..." She thought of the multiple fictions of a pak that could seem normal to an organic life form with no metallic or artificial parts.

"It's my...storage compartment. I cary it around with me and it holds my things." 

"Oh! like a backpack!" Mary took notes on this.

"Y...yes." Roz was shaking hard. She screamed in her head: I've got to get away from this stalker ho-man! She'll blow my whole cover!

Roz spotted a busy street in the distancedurounded by vehicles and taller, uglier life forms. I can find an escape here she thought.

"Excuse me...Mars?"

"Mary."

"Yes well I have to go away now. I did not like talking to you, you smell and are ugly, have a nice day."

And with that Roz picked up Dum and ran into the crowded, trash filled streets. She pushed her way past people and kicked a baby to get through. She ran through traffic and almost got run over by three different vehicles. One being an ambulance for the baby. 

Dum shouted Weeeee with glee the whole time being carried. They even snagged a passerby's greasy bacon sandwich.

An onlooker asked her mother if that was cannibalism. To which the mother shrugged and both kept walking.

Eventually Roz made it to an alleyway.

"Curses! A dead end!"

"Hey look," said Dum, "It's Joline."

"Dum what on Irk's doom-filled empire are you-OHSMPH!" she turned around to see Mary at the entry to the alleyway. Roz was trapped. 

"Why are you running away?" Mary asked and cocked her large head sideways her arms were behind her back.

"W-w-will you lea-leave me alone?"

"Not until you awnser my questions honestly."

"Theres nothing to know! Go away!"

"No."

"You are so anoying you ugly smelly ho-man!"

"And you're really bad at lying you disgusting green alien."

The word and the emphasis on "alien" made Roz go dead. Her eyes went wide. She was shaking violently. "W-what-"

"Oh common, it's hard not to tell. I mean, you have green skin."

"It's a condition!"

"Are the lack of ears and nose also part of the condition?" Mary walked closer. She smirked in an intimidating manner.

"Y-yes."

Roz was cornered she had nowhere to go. Nowhere to run to.

"Hahaha. Thats a real funny joke..." both girls were as face to face as they could be now. 

"Invader Roz..."

"Wh-WHAT? N-NO what are you-"

Mary started mocking Roz's voice. "Mhmhmhahaha. I'm Roz the second greatest Irko ever."

Roz stood in shock. She didn't even know this dirty gremlin and it knew everything she had said. While she was in space! How was that possible?

"Its...Irken..." Roz wispered.

"It's what?"

"IT'S WRONG YOU'RE WRONG! YOUR STUPID NOTES ARE WRONG! YOU'RE A DUMB, STUPID, WRONG HO-MAN WHO DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING!"

"Notes? Oh this?" Mary lifted up her notepad that had a drawing of Roz having her organs ripped out of her by a bunch of scientists, with the caption under it being "THE MARY AUTOPSY." "This is just a picture of what my dad and his lab buddies are going to do to you once they get their hands on your disgusting goopy organs. The caption os named after me because I'm going to be the one who exposes you. Also it's humans. Hu-mans."

"I know that." Roz looked around franticly for an escape window.

"You know I've been tracking and listening to your radio signal for a while now. I know everything about you, and who you are."

"No you don't!" 

"Well not everything. Just the fact that your an evil alien bent on destroying man-kind." Mary pulled out a small grey net ball. "You can't run monster." She tossed the ball up and down in her hand. "And this capture ball I made will make sure you won't."

It was absolutely the right time to leave. Still holding on to Dum, Roz extended silver legs from her pak and propelled her self into the air. She landed on the roof tops and began sprinting towards her base. Mary trailed her path on the ground.

"Get back here you evil cockroach."

Roz kept jumping roofs until the buildings led to an open park area. She looked down to Mary holding the ball with a soul eating smile. In a quick moment of thought Roz got on Dum and shouted:

"Dum! Activate your jet fuel!" Almost imediatley Dum shot across the park, Roz holding on to them for her life. 

The chase continued. Mary had gained on the Irken. Through the crowded bustling streets the girls pushed shoved and knocked over pedestrians. At one point Roz completely busted through a wiener stand causing it to elevate and fall on it's side, almost crushing Mary. At another point Mary grabbed a sewer lid and threw it at Roz. The duo was knocked down a bit, and Roz almost fell off.

There was a spot Mary chased Roz into that was surrounded by people. While Roz was able to fly over them on Dum, Mary fell behind in the large crowd. She tried to squeeze her way through but to no avail. She screamed after the escaped alien. "No! No! Let me through! Hrg...NOOO!" 

Roz looked back and smiled. Finaly, the smelly worm child was gone. Looking forward at the less than beautiful scenery with it's smog skies and it's bright sun, Roz relaxed on the ride to the base. 

Dum landed with a crash in front of the base's porch. Roz spoke to them harshly after arising from the ground and dusting herself off. "You couldn't land slowly? You had to land and scrape both of us?"

"Yeah."

Roz looked at Dum annoyed. "Alright then" she said.

As they walked towards the door, Mary jumped out of a bush and blocked their path. She was littered in dirt and scrapes. Roz and Dum jumped back.

"Ehahahaha. I got you now space goblin!" She reeled her arm back, ball in hand. But before she could throw it. Roz lunged at her and started a fist fight.

Hands and claws flew Into eyes and scratched faces leaving bruises and blood. 

Eventually, while being tackled, Mary threw the ball. Roz doged it, making the balls contact be a bee hive instead. The ball expanded into a large, entrapping the bees. The net hovered over back to Mary and Roz. Both girls looked at eachother than back at the buzzing bee-filled net. 

"Do you by any chance have a remote control for that thing?"

"Nope. Just an open button."

"Hm. Yes and where would that be?"

"Right on the side there." Mary pointed at the button. Dum walked over and pressed it.

"No!"  
"No!"

The net opened and the bees swarmed in a cloud of yellow and black buzz. 

Roz reached over slowly, snatched Dum, and made a beeline for the base's iterior. The door slammed shut in Mary's face.

"You fiend! You foul being! You-" Mary stops and screams as she is pursued by raging bees. As she runs away, Mary hollers:

"You won't get away with this Roz! Ow! You wont get rid of me so easily- Ow! I-ow! Live-ow! Right next door! Ow! Ow! Get away from me! Get away!" She falls to the ground screaming as the bees swarm her entirely. 

Inside the safty of her base Roz and Dum sit on a somewhat comfortable couch.

"Hey can we get a pizza later."

"No. Hand me that tablet."

Snatching the tablet and pen from Dum, Roz wrote down her observations on humans. She wrote:

"Humans are incredibly stupid, incredibly smelly, incredibly filthy, and incredibly ugly.

"One of them however is all of this and worse.


	3. 1st Day of Doom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roz decides to study the humans way of life by attending their local school. She is in for a nasty suprise however as someone she doesnt like will be present alongside her.

Dum sits on a couch in the base watching a cartoon of a green dog. The green dog is very loud and is a mix of lovable, mildly annoying, and incredibly profitable, as an add for a hoodie of the dog appears on screen. Dum's one working eye widens and they scream as high as their digital chords would let them. They run and jump around the base until they fall into a sink drain. the pipes carry them to the underground of the base, a large basement surrounded by advanced technology. They continued screaming.

Roz was sitting in a small area that contained a desk. on the desk was a snack of firey hell balls, a tablet and pen, a shiny mirror screen, a ponytailed wig, and pink contact lenses. Roz put on the wig and struggled to put on the contact lenses. They itched and burned. She rubbed her eyes making the contacts vein codded like clustered branches on plain paper. 

Dum jumped at Roz and latched on to her pak causing them both to scream. she tried to shake Dum off in a fit of terror which resulted in Dum falling on the floor. Roz turned around to face the SIR unit as they sat on the floor and shouted "again!"

"What on Irk's name do you want Dum? can't you see that I am incredibly busy!"

"I don't know anymore."

Roz scoffed and turned back towards the mirror screen. "I am preparing my further studies into the stupidity of the humans." She shuffled and fixed the wig on her head. "Computer! Turn the screen off!"

"How you gonna do that?" Dum cocked their metal head sideways.

Roz stood still and didn't turn around until she started talking. She walked away towards an elevator as she did.

"I have been reading up on these digital reports the humans have on their web net. In doing so, I have come across a message that said 'Stress and untimely deaths caused by..." Roz struggled to say the next word. "Scoooools... has increased.'"

"Ooooooh. What's that mean?"

"I had thought that myself. It turns out these Scools are learning facilities not unlike the early military training facilities on Irk's home planet."

Roz snickered. "Blending in with these filthy humans will be so much easier once I learn their ways of living. I can find their weaknesses and use them to Destroy all of mankind. The tallest will be so proud of me." Her last sentence sounded almost giddy.

Roz and Dum stepped on the elevator as it lifted them up to the base's first floor.

"Dum, I will need you to watch the base with extra caution. You never know when that hideous big headed neighbor child will show her face."

Dum's eye glowed red as they saluted.

"Yes master." Dum ran back onto the couch to watch their cartoons. Immediately comfortable, they pulled out a family sized bag of potato chips.

"Good. I'll be back soon, hopefully." Roz left the building and the door slammed down behind her.

Roz strolled towards a sign that read "school bus" and waited for it's arival.  
Whistling and tapping her foot in impatience. Eventually the bus came speeding down the street. It stopped abruptly and it's doors oppened, releasing an incredibly hot, incredibly foul smelling odor. The man in the driver's seat looked at Roz and let out a raspy tone.

"Where you going kid?"

"S-school. I'm going to the school."

The bus driver looked neither surprised nor scared by Roz's green appearance.

"Okay!"

Roz paused for a moment and then walked up the bus stairs. The humidity was almost unbearable.

Every isle was a kid. A disgusting sweaty kid. One of the isle's a boy was picking his nose and in another a girl with pigtails was slamming her head on the window. Papers and food were being thrown like someone had put on a bad stage performance. The children were also singing and obnoxious volumes to a song called "shmoopity doody." It was the worst song Roz had ever heard. 

Roz sat in the front of the bus, alone. Once the bus was in motion the obnoxious singing got louder and the ride got rougher. Someone was screaming on the outside: "Wait! Wait!" Roz was going to throw up.

Once the bus reached the school the children slowly got out. Roz, the last one to exit the bus, kneeled down to the earth and breathed heavily. She hacked for five minutes before getting back up.

Walking into the school Roz looked around. Colorful, ripped banners lined the hallways screaming First Day Back. Kids were crying in corners. Some where being pulled into classrooms, screaming in fear.  
One child in a pink sweater banged on a locker. Others were trying to escape through windows shouting: "Don't let them take me!"

Roz reached her classroom. On the door it said: Room 666 Ms. Bitter's room. Except the word room had the word "hell" written under it.

Walking in the class were a bunch of ugly children. All different, all smelling like garbage. A tall shadowy woman with stone white hair sat in the front of the room.

"Ah the new student." The teacher looked at Roz and squinted. "Oh great...another one."

The teacher slithered menacingly next to Roz. She stood out in front of the classroom.

"I have some news for you disappointing students. There will be a new student joining this class. Her name is Roz. I would pray that you would be respectful, not that any of you are anyway."

The teacher pointed at one of two empty desks in the front.

"You will be seated here for the rest of the school year. And don't make a scene."

The desk was disgusting, there were pencil markings engraved in the wood, there was dust and dirty tissue inside the desk. The was a dead roach next to one of the legs. It smelled. It was primitive.

Roz scoffed and thought: Is this really the technology of the humans? It's pitiful. 

But it didn't matter. Roz was here to do a job and that was it. It would be simple, and it would be easy. To Roz the humans would be easy to overtake if this was all they had. She was ready.

The door slammed open.

The entire class turned towards the door. A silhouette with glassy greenish blue eyes appeared. The figure huffed and puffed as if they had ran a 2k. The figure spoke.

"Sorry I'm late Ms. Bitters. I missed the bus." 

"I don't care, Mary. Where is your late slip."

"I don't have one."

"Well then you will just have detention tomorrow then."

"But Ms. Bitters-"

"Stop talking!"

Ms. Bitters held out a pink slip. "Here take this and give it to your father so he can yell at you and tell you how you need to be a better and more vigilant student."

"Gee thanks." Mary muttered. 

"What did you just say?"

"Nothing Ms. Bitters."

"Thats what i thought. Now go sit down next to the new student."

"New student?"

"Yes, her." Ms. Bitters pointed at Roz.

Mary and Roz looked at each other in shock. They both thought the same thing. What is she doing here?

"Oh...Sure thing Ms. Bitters."

Mary took her place next to Roz. Their looks of shock turned into glares.

Now I have to sit next to this ugly annoying thing? This human will blow my cover. Not that I'm worried of course.

Now the Allen's coming to school? This'll be so easy. A recepie for her own disaster.

Their thoughts ran as the lecture commenced. 

Roz whispered to the big headed girl next to her. She sat so perfectly still.

"So, Ma-ree, how are those bee stings holding up?"

"I don't have any." Mary whispered back."And it's Mary."

Scilence between the two...

"Cockroach."

Thirty five minutes pass. Nobody talked.

"Alright class I have to step out for a minute and pick up your 35 page math packets." Ms. Bitters turned sharply to Roz and Mary. "Don't start anything."

The door closed and Ms. Bitters left.

"Ehem."

Mary pretended to cough and hack for her peir's attention.

"EHRM!" She threw her elbow and his Roz. It looked like an accedent but it was on purpose.

Everybody turned to in the girls' direction.

"So...newbie..." She turned towards the Irken. "Would you like to explain to everyone why you have such a strange green color."

"Woah Mary!" Shouted a short statutre student from the back of the classroom. "You shouldn't say that!"

"Oh come on Klutch," she responded, "there's no such thing as green skin."

"You don't know that," said another beetle eyed child behind them, "It could be a skin condidtion."

"Yes it is you incredibly dumb pig. It is a skin condition."

"Who are you trying to fool Roz. There is no such thing as a skin condition that turns your skin green."

"Well yes there is. And I have it."

"My dad is a scientist Roz. And from the extensive knowledge of my family I can confirm that there is absolutely no disorder for green skin."

"Your just being insensitive." Stated another kid.

"I am not being insensitive! Look!"

Mary dragged Roz to the front of the class. She then stood on the side of the students and pointed. "Look!"

"She has green skin! She has no ears! Her voice is different than ours! She has no visible nose! I can see behind your contacts and your eyes are blue! You're clearly wearing a wig! And that THING on your back! That doesnt look like a normal backpack! It looks advanced! All signs point to it. You're clearly an alien!"

After the outburst crickets were heard. And sweat was dripping profusely from Roz's face.

"My eyes are blue. And I'm not an alien." A boy from the back spoke up.

"I'm not talking about her irises Tip I'm talking about her whole eyeballs. Its unnatural."

"Your eyes are unnatural too."

"That's for a different reason! Just...Rrrr!" 

Mary jumped to the front of the room. 

"Look at her!"

She turned to meet Roz face to face even though Mary was clearly shorter. 

"You may think your smart but your not. You're not smart enough to fool me. Not me! Not Mary Membrane!"

The door opened and Ms. Bitters stood in the hallway with a exponentially large stack of papers. The hallway was dark from the lack of funding, making Ms. Bitters look like a ghost.  
She glared at Mary and Roz.

"What did I say about starting problems?" She was furious.

👽👽👽

It was lunch time. All of the free roaming students sat around in the rubbish scented lunchroom. The students walked in a line to retrieve their lunches, which were blobs of expired beans and raw chicken. The disgusting food blotches were slapped onto Roz's tray by the lunch lady, who looked like she worked more in a butcher shop than a school, there was so much red on her apron it was hard to tell if it was blood or maranara. 

Roz gagged at the hideous exuse for food. Was this really what the humans called cuisine? Roz would have much preferred a shlotz meal from Shloogorgh's Flavor Monster on Foodcourtia. Anything compared to the filth before her. 

Roz took her tray to a table all while trying not to throw up. The table was empty. Perfect for Roz as she didn't want to be near any filthy humans anyway. She looked back at her food again in disgust.

THUD!

The crash of a plate on the empty table right across from Roz was clear. Mary looked down on the alien with angry eyes and a distasteful grin.

"What's wrong spacegirl? Scared of beans?"

"N-no. I, Roz, am scared of no...Beeaans..."

Roz took a shaky hand to her spork and scooped up a single bean. She bit into it knowing full well she's could die due to the expiration.

"Bleheheh!" Roz gagged into her plate. Eventually she called down.

"Ehem. There. I ate the beans."

"You are one."

"I DON'T HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING TO YOU!"

"I never said you did, bug."

Mary folded her hands under her chin and stared at Roz. 

"So tell me Roz. How come you're sitting all by yourself?"

"I thought we were past questions at this point."

"I'm just curious as to how you're not sitting with everyone else like a NORMAL human would."

"I...I..." Roz looked around for any excuse. "Why aren't you?"

Mary slapped her hand over her chest, she was offended in great capacity. She crossed her eyes and slapped Roz's food straight up into her face. Roz screamed in pain it burned so much. Mary took this as an opportunity.

"See! See everyone! She's burning from the food-AHHH!"

Roz pulled Mary in and started hitting her. Mary hit back in retaliation. Eventually there was a fight on the dirty lunchroom floor. 

The kids crowded around the violent fistfight between the two girls. One of them shouted "Hey the weird kids are fighting!"

Everyone started chanting in unison. "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

"You evil space cockroach!"

"You tiny big headed pig!"

"How is being small an insult?"

"Shlortz you!"

"Gasp!"

The violence only increased. Until the lunch ladys broke it apart.

"No fighting!" The one said.

They were put intolocks that would keep them from fighting. Both looked at each other from across their seats at the table. 

👽👽👽 

It was now recess. The all of the children were playing. All except for Roz, who was mapping a plan to dominate human kind on her tablet. 

Mary approached her again. 

"What's wrong alien? Don't wanna play with the everyone else like a normal person?"

"You aren't doing anything either your just looking at me like some type of stalker!"

"N-no I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"W-whatever! Just-" Mary took a deep breath. "I just wanted to invite you to a game."

"A...game?"

"Yes."

"What type of...'game.'"

"Come with me and you'll see." The bandanna wearing girl smiled maniacally.

Roz knew something was going to happen. Whatever it may be.

Mary brought Roz to the middle of the recess area. There was a metal cannon on the ground labeled "FOOD." The cannon looked like a large metal hand, connected to a metal backpak.

"What is that thing?"

"It's for the game."

"Riiight...And What is this game again?"

Mary swiftly put on the metal cannon hand and backpack and shot a splash of potatoes onto Roz's face with it. Roz screamed in pain and fell to the ground. She tried to scratch it off.

Mary stood over the burning alien cannon ready to fire again. "Food fight." Mary laughed like a madman and shot once again. Roz dodged it to the side. 

"You need amo to fight y'know. But if you don't have it I guess I'll just have to shoot by myself."

Mary kept shooting food at Roz, Roz dodging each time. This led the food to the heads of other kids instead. Eventually Roz remembered that she had a bag of food in her pak. Specificly, a firey hell balls snack. She took it out and read the labeling. It said:

"Warning! Contents may burn weak flesh, metal, and may cause visual impairment. Do not be surprised if you catch on fire. Should not be eaten without a smooth cold creamy substance. They are forcing me to eat these help. I havent seen my family in days. My organs are ash. Please im begging you. Help. Help. Help."

"Heheheh. Perfect." Roz opened the bag and pulled out a cannon of her own out of her pak. It looked shinier though. More fit for laser fights. 

"Oh large head~"

Mary turned around to Roz's loaded weapon. 

"I have my amo."

Small balls shot out of the cannon with trails of fire. Two of them hitting Mary's shoe.

"YEOW!" Mary yelped in pain and patted the fire, attempting to put it out. She growled at the Irken.

"Why you little-"

Food flung across the area. From one side to another balls of fire and hot meat rained down like hail. Children were screaming and people were burned. Someone even ate a fireball and spit out fire like a dragon. They somehow lived.

The two were almost out of breath. Mary looked over Roz's shoilder and shouted "Look! Distracting Roz from the fight. Roz was hit by a projectile barbicue rib rack as a result. She fell to the ground sprawling in pain. 

Mary ran over and grabbed Roz's wig by the ponytail.

"You can't fool me Roz. And without this you won't fool anyone."

Roz slapped Mary across the face causing Mary to let go of the wig and focus on her bruised cheek. Now focused on something else Roz took the opportunity to shoot rappidfire firey hell balls at Mary's cannon and at her hair. Mary screamed and shouted and rolled to try and put the fire out. The food cannon melted and her hair started to fall out. After all the rolling was done she was met with the horrifying face of Ms. Bitters. 

"You!"

"Mary gulped in fear."

"To the principles office! Now!"

"No. Please Ms. Bitters not the-"

"Now!"

"NOOOOOOO!"

Mary was now being pulled by Ms. Bitters to the principals office. She turned to a smiling Roz who waved back at her sarcasticly. 

"I'll get you for this. You'll pay you ugly green villain. I'll- ow ow ow ow ow!"

Later on that day Roz sat in the lover levels of her base in front of a loading computer screen. Dum by her side playing with a lone crayon.

"Computer! Can you speed up this loading process I'm trying to contact the tallest! He must hear of my amazing progress!

"I can't go any faster, number one. And number two I don't actually have to listen to you your not my-"

"Ah! The loading is complete!"

A screen showing the tallest Zim appears he is screaming at Girt for causing a mess. 

"My Tallest! It is I! Your most beloved invader!"

"Eh?" Zim turned towards the screen "Who are you? And why are you transmitting?"

"Ahahahah! My Tallest. It is I Invader Roz."

An Irken from the side whispered in Zims ear. "It's the young Irken from Conventia."

"Eh? You? How did you get this signal? Where are you?"

"I am on Earth of course! And I am pleased to report on the tremendous progress I am making."

"E...Earth?"

"Yes my Tallest. It is the mission you had given me."

"But nobody gave YOU a-"

"These human lifeforms are oh so filthy and disgusting. But they are also oblivious to my marvelous disguise. And I have also-"

As Roz continued talking, above ground Mary had walked into her home next door. 

Once in she was greeted by a tall man whom Mary looked almost alike. The man was standing by an electrical stove in which sparks were flying. He was wearing a white lab coat and had lightning by hair. He also wore goggles.

"Hey kiddo! Home late I see." The man turned around to see Mary's clothes burnt and her face bruised. Her black bandanna was practicly ash. Immediately he ran over.

"Oh my God! Mary what happened." Visible fear appeared on the man's face.

"That stupid alien Roz showed up to my school and almost killed me is what happened! She shot fire snacks at me with an advanced cannon! She melted my food cannon and got me sent to the principles office! Also I'm supposed to have detention tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that. I have the slips for them that you need to sign."

The man sighed and put his abnormally large head in his hand and sighed.

"Mary we talked about this the other day. You are not going to bother the new neighbor."

"But Dad she's an alien! She has green skin and no ears and she-"

Mary's father picked her up and carried her over to the table where she was placed in a chair. He gave Mary an ice bag to put on her bruises. All while talking to her.

"Yes yes yes she's an evil alien from outer space and-" 

"And you have to do something Dad! She'll destroy us all! Im telling you dad she has a plan! she will do it I heard her!"

Mary's father sighed and brought two plates of ham and pasta to the table.

"Now Mary. If you don't bother the neighbor, she won't bother you." He put his arm on her shoulder. "I promise she won't do anything."

"But she will Dad. You have to believe me."

Mary's father sat back into his seat. "Eat your dinner kiddo."

Mary looked at her food and started thinking about the events that transpired. She picked at it for a little bit. And the asked:

"Can I put my bandanna away."

"Sure."

"Thank you."

Mary ran upstairs to her room to grab a new bandanna that didn't smell like emense smoke.

Her dad shouted after her "We have ice Cream for desert." In order to brighten her mood. It worked as at the top of the stairs you could hear a little girl scream "YES!"

While Mary searched for a new bandanna, her father was muttering to himself. 

"Mantente fuerte, Dib...todo pasará...simplemente ignóralo...eventualmente la cosa se irá..."

Mary came downstairs wearing a new bandanna. It was the same black color, but with a pattern of ghosts on it.

The two ate dinner and talked about the day, all the while Roz continued to talk to the tallest Zim about her progress. And Dum sat in a spinning chair, eating a pizza they ordered.


	4. Cookies of Doom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roz decides to bake a batch of equally horrifying as they are delicious treats. However, Mary sees right through Roz's evil looking cookies. Especialy when one of them slowly starts to kill someone.
> 
> NOTE  
This chapter is the one with blood in it. It's a little gross. The others aren't like this one so you can skip it if you want.

"Ehahahaahaha!" Roz cackled meniachley from within the depths of her base.

Dum hopped over to Roz without talking and perked their broken head onto the desk in which Roz was working from.

"AAAAHAHAHA! IT BURNS MY FACE!"  
Dum shouted as they rolled around on the floor. 

"Yes. Yes it does Dum! This burning rcepie for dominance is what will slow me to rule this filthy planet. The humans will be down on their filthy worm knees begging for mercy. These 'cookies' will crush them all down to their last body fiber! Hmm."

The Irken picked up a cookbook which lay beside her working station. 

"I might have trouble fooling that PEST next door. But these look similar enough. Actualy...they look exact."

Dum slowly rose up and reached for the homade creations. Roz lightly slapped their hand away in response.

"Awwwww. I want one!"

"No Dum! These are for the humans. They are part of my magnificent plan." Roz stood, triumphant and proud of her work.

"But I want a cookie!"

"No!"

Dum started to scream and cry so loud all the neighbors could hear it even if they had sound proof walls. 

"Alright! I'll make you some later!"

"Yay!"

👽👽👽

"Alright class. Taking a break from our studies of the downfall of the Roman empire, Roz decided to provide us with cookies. But this is the only time I will allow this, as you all are ungrateful and don't actually deserve it."

Roz pulled out a small container. The smell of it was putrid to Mary's senses, but to everyone else it was normal. Mary looked over at the container and gagged. Something was moving in it and it wasn't anything she could identify. 

Roz stepped away from her desk and to the front of the room.

"Fellow class attendees. As an appreciation gift for your accompaniment I have decided to create a token of sweet sustenance for you all. I only made them for you and not for me because that would be selfish, and unhuman of me."

the poorly disguised Irken opened the container releasing the sent of artificial strawberries and something mutilated.

"Behold!"

The horrifying contents from within the container were presented to the class. the cookies were green and red. There were bloodshot eyeballs peering out of the batter; some of them still moving around. Tentacles squirmed from the cookies insides and slapped the protruding claws that grasped for freedom. chocolate and bacon were also present.

"Those look absolutely disgusting Roz." Ms. Bitters sat at her desk unsurprised that something created by one of her students was pure garbage. "Now hand them out quickly! I have a lesson I need to continue."

one by one the cookies were distributed. Each receiver was equally excited to receive the treat, but none more than the child with a plant that resembled a Venus fly trap in his received sweet. The only student unexcited about the whole ordeal was-unsurprisingly-Mary.

"Ms. Bitters?" Mary rose her hand. "Is it really a good idea to give out these 'cookies' that have weird colors and moving eyeballs in them?" 

"I'm not having one so I don't care."

"But Ms. Bitters-"

"I don't care if it has racoons, moths, rats, or spiders in it, every student is going to have one because someone made it! Now stop being ungrateful and eat your disgusting snack! Because you'll never get one again."

"Yeah Mary!" A kid shouted from right next to her. "we never get stuff like this. be grateful."

"Shortz there is a whole human foot in your cookie. You can see the bone and torn flesh in it."

"Yeah? And I like feet."

Mary gave a face of disgust and utter lack of hope for her classmate. "This is why I don't talk to you..." she said. 

Roz sat back down at her desk. "Relax worm pig. its only a decoration."

"You call that a decoration!" Mary pointed to the kid with the plant in his cookie. His arm was now missing and the plant, with angler sharp teeth, was aiming for his head next.

"Yes I do." Roz replied. "You're just upset that I didn't give you one yet." 

She practically shoved the disgusting abomination in Mary's face. It smelled like rat poison, looked like a mushroom, and there was a screaming goo coming from the top. It was the worst thing Mary ever saw.

"Well? Take it."

There was a lot of pressure on the child to take the mistake being handed to her, especially from Ms. Bitters, whom was staring darts into Mary's core.

Mary begrudgingly took the cookie, swallowed in fear, and nook a nibble. It tasted sweet and gooey at the least. Mary mumbled to herself as she chewed.

"No puedo esperar hasta que seas diseccionado-HACK!"

Mary spit out the disgusting food. The aftertaste was something straight out of a nightmare. The scarred child took out a plastic bag and placed the disgusting snack inside.

She turned to the green alien sitting next to her.

"You wont get away with this" she growled.

"Get away with what? I haven't done anything wrong."

A child's disembodied limb was thrown by plant to the front of the class.

👽👽👽

It is mid recess and every child is outside playing. All except one however. 

Mary was located in the confines of the science lab. Under an ultra violet light she observed the grotesque baked good. She placed a cookie fragment into a hole carved from an apple. The cookie began to melt into the fruit. Nothing happened besides that.

"C'mon. I know there's something wrong with you. " Mary glared profusely at the fruit, yet still nothing happened. "Hmph!"

Mary wrapped up the Apple and the cookie in plastic and decided to take both home for further studies. 

👽👽👽

Early the next day, Mary awoke to the sound of something dying. Recognizing the victim's sound, she dashed downstairs, only to find her dad on the floor coughing up a black liquid.

"Oh no! Dad!"

"I'm fine!" This was clearly not the case. "I'm alright-HUEH."

The black liquid stained the floors and Dib's white lab coat. 

"Dad what happened?"

"Nothing happened I-" More black liquid was vomited onto the floor. "I don't think what I ate last night agreed with me..."

"What chemicals did you swallow this time?" Mary's tone was scared and concerned.

"I think it was the chili and corn."

"Chili and corn doesn't make you vomit-wait. Why does it it smell like metal?"

Dib remembered something else. "I also had a piece of that cookie you left on the counter."

Mary looked at her father in horror. "Dad why would you eat that? Roz made it!"

"Oh...Really? Well that explains a-" More of the liquid was spat onto the floor.

Mary realized what was happening and leaped to her schoolbag in order to retrieve the bagged apple. It was completely rotted dry. 

"Oh no...Dad where's the X-ray organ scanner?"

"It's under the coffie table. Why?"

Mary didn't awnser and snatched the scanner. She pointed it at her Dad to find a horrible surprise.

"Oh No! Dad your organs! They're rotting!"

Dib didn't hear. "What?"

"Your organs are dry and rotting, and your bloods turning black! Oh no no no no no!" Mary started shaking. Her dad was dying in front of her and she had no idea of what she could do to make it stop happening. 

"That stupid alien and her stupid cookies. I knew she was up to something! I'll kill her! I'll rip out her goopy organs and plaster them on the walls!"

Mary ran to the door but was stopped by her father.

"Before you go and bother the neighbor and get into a big fight where you'll get hurt, can you hand me the grey vile from the fridge?"

Mary turned around, sprang to the fridgerator door, and pulled out a silver milky vile from its frozen insides. She handed it to Dib who was still doubled over from the unimaginable murderous pain.

After drinking it, the hacking and coughing stopped. The black liquid ceased to appear. It was as if it didn't happen. Mary was puzzled.

The big headed child grabbed the scanner and pointed it at Dib again.

"The organs are healing. The blood is turning red again."

Mary, coming back from the scientific miracle she just witnesed, realized how the same disaterous effect from the cookies would fall upon her class.

"Dad! What was that grey milky stuff."

"It's liquefied membranium mixed with soy. It tastes like garbage but it's a good substitute for other medications. A product of real science. If you want you can come to the lab on the weekends and help me make it. It'll help prepare you for a future in scientific fields."

"I can't do that Dad. I need that stuff now. Roz poisoned my class with her weird alien cookies and they're going to die if they don't drink that bubbly purple stuff."

Dib sighed "dios mío...You know I dont like promoting this type of thing. Letting you claim someone is an alien and watching your life fall apart is not something I want to assist in. But I know I can't stop you. How much do you want?"

"How much do you got?"

👽👽👽

The school was overpopulated with sick children. It wasnt just Mary's class anymore. Every kid was either at the nurse or spewing up dark blood in the class.

Mary met up with Roz in the hallway. The sickening grin on the Roz's face made Mary burn with rage. 

"I have a feeling your going to blame me on everyone being unwell." 

"Of course I am. Your trying to kill everyone here with your fowl cookies."

"I just wanted to share my treats with everyone. It was a gesture of your filty kindness emotion."

Mary looked around the hall at the bigger number of students effected by the deadly snacks.

"Why are there so many more people sick? You only gave cookies to our class."

"Well you see filthy worm monkey, I had so many left over I thought I would give them all away."

"Your disgusting! Your a monster!" 

"And?"

"And what?"

"And what exactly do you plan to do about it?"

"I'm gonna stop you is what I'm gonna do about it. And then I'll expose you for the vilanous green space freak you are!" 

"Stop me? With what? Is your ginormous head going to beat out the visus that now infects the entire school body?"

"No. And my head isn't ginormous!" Mary pulled out a watter bottle containing the grey liquid. She noticed a pigtailed girl nearby that was almost passed out from the pain.

"Hey you!"

"Uuuuuuuuuyeeeaaahhhh?" the sounds coming from the girl's mouth were dead.

"What do you usually drink with cookies."

"UuuuuuuuuuuMilkIguessss."

"Well here. For the cookie." Mary handed the girl the grey drink. The girl began to sip on the horrible tasting beverage. In no time at all, color began to flush back in her face.

"W-what is that hideous looking drink?" Roz stammered.

"It's liquefied membranium metal mixed with soy. It's a counter to your sickening cookies. And I'm going to use it to save the school."

"Not over my sqeedelyspooch you wont!"

Mary ran down the hallway tossing the drinks to the almost corpses of the school. Roz chasing after her in a quick fury. 

"Get back here you loathsome pest!"

"Skrew you space bug!" Mary hit someone on the head with the drink.

"Why can't you just be like everyone else and be stupid?"

"It's not in my nature to be oblivious and fall for stupid tricks! My glasses have a tiny pink tint but they aren't rose!"

"I don't even know what that means! Now I just hate you more!"

"You're just stupid!"

Roz gasped and lunged at Mary. She managed to take the bag that held all of the water bottles that contained the grey milk drink. However it was to late for the Irken as all of the bag's contents were gone.

"Ha! You're too late! I've already distributed the drinks. Your plan has failed and I saved the school!"

"Why you little-"

"Hey!" A little boy appeared with a crowd of other students. All of which looked healthy and full of life again. But they also appeared angry.

"Yeah?" Responded Mary.

"Did you make this?" The kid held up the grey filled water bottle. 

"Yes. Yes I did." Mary looked relieved and proud of her actions. She saved her piers after all. 

"It sucks."

"OW!"

The drink flung from the hands of the boy directly into Mary's face. Every other child followed suit. They all hollered their opinions without hesitation.

"It tastes nasty!"   
"This is the worst thing I've ever had!"  
"I hate it!"

"Ow! Ow! Why are you hitting me I saved you-ow! Stop! Ow!"

Roz looked at Mary and thought this is the most pathetic display I have seen yet. It's hilarious! Roz took a bottle and hit Mary with it and laughed like the villain she was. 

The kids noticed Roz's presence. One of them shouted "Hey" causing her to turn around and awnser harshly.

"What do you want you slimy skin sack?"

"Why are you calling them skin sacks humans don't call each other skin sacks-OW stop hitting me!"

"What do you want?"

The kid asked "did you make the cookies?"

Roz hesitated for a minute.

"Y...yes?"

"They were good."  
"Yeah they were great!"  
"We want more!"

At once all the students started chanting in unison.

"We want cookies! We want cookies! We want cookies!"

They surrounded Roz like flesh hungry zombies and were closing in. 

In a moment of panic Roz fled. She wasn't fast enough though as the children caught up and surrounded her. 

"We want cookies! We want cookies!"

"No! No! Leave me alone! Nooooooooo!"


	5. Family Cookout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roz is invited to a family cookout by one of her new, but also stupid, neighbor. The irken devises a plan that will allow her to take control over the pesky humans.

The leaves cracked and fell to the ground only to be crunched by the feet of stampeding children. Children whose minds were unaware of the horrors beneath the concrete and soil.

Roz sat in her base's basement, gushing to her tallest Zim about her progress and plans. While giddy and excited she was, Zim wasn't as excited on the other line. 

"I plan to use this squeaking shoober to perminatley blind the humans with it's flash. As they are damaged, I will promise help and in return they will become my servants."

"..."

"My Tallest it is an ingenious plan that is surely to work in the favor of the-"

"It's horrible."

"Huh?"

"Your plan is horrible and I hate listening to it."

Rod was shocked and dumbfounded. Her plan was disproved wholeheartedly by her leader. How would she even comprehend such a thing. She was supposed to be great.

"Besides the fact that your not even supposed to be where you are, your plans are incredebly obnoxious!"

"But my tallest. I believe that my plans can become sucsessful. I am sure of it! They can get us another planet off of the empire's bucket list. We haven't had a conquered planet in years sir. The bucket list begs me and is telling me-"

"YOU ANOYING LITE SMEE-" a breath was taken. "Your plan sucks. My plans are a shmillion times better than yours. You really shouldn't even be making any plans you should be at military training with the other smeets."

"But my tallest I'm not a smee-"

"My point is that all of your plans are terrible. TERRIBLE! I cant stand to bear anymore of these bad ideas."

"Well...what do you suggest I do my tallest?"

"Eh? Oh I don't know...uh..." The tallest thought fro a moment, scratching his disgusting green head. "Poison them or something. Put blazing hot snack dust in their atmosphere or hypnotize them or whatever."

"My tallest...that..."Roz perked from hurt to admiration. "Are the most brilliant ideas I've ever heard!"

"Of course it is I, the almighty tallest Zim, made it!"

"Oh! One more thing my tallest!"

"What?"

"There is a...bothersome human...that keeps foiling my plans and I was wondering if you had any advice-"

"What was that? I didn't hear you. Minimoose! Fetch me my slushie!"

A tiny purple moose floated on Zim's end of the screen with a cold beverage perched between it's antlers. The only thing it said was a tiny "Nyah."

"Thank you Minimoose. Alright that's it. End the transmission!"

"But wait my-"

The transmission ended, leaving Roz looking at an image of Zim's face and text that read Thank you for calling. We don't appreciate it.

Roz turned around. "Computer!"

The robotic base responded in the most unenthusiastic tone imaginable.

"What do you want?"

"Fetch me my tablet and-Oh why thank you." The computer dropped the irken's materials in front of her mid sentence. "You are always so vigilant computer."

"Shut up."

"Now..." Roz sat on a wheeled chair and began to take notes. "Burning atmosphere...What Can I do with that?" The little green menace began to write bullet points.

"The tallest Zim has such wonderful ideas. It's why he is the most beloved Irken of all."

A barrage of knocks was heard on the upper floors of the base. Roz ignored these as they usually go away when left alone.

But they did not stop. The knocking continued for at least another two minutes before Roz's impatience grew. Roz pulled out a chordles communication device from her pak.

"Grrr! Dum! Get the door! And fire a lazer at them or something! Chop of their hands mabye. Do something to make that horrible knocking stop! And put on your disguise. I dont want the filth sacks getting suspicious."

The unit responded on the upstairs floor. "Yes master!"

Dum strolled towards the door in their pig costume.

"Who is it?" The Unit screamed in welcome as they opened the door.

A preppy woman stood at the bases front step.

"Oh hello little piggy! How you doing?"

The woman began to pet Dum. While Dum didn't mind to much and started laughing, Roz became annoyed from all the way down below. She appeared out of nowhere in her disguise at the front door, snatching her defecrivr SIR unit away from the oblivious woman.

"Get away from my normal ugly worm pet you heathen."

"Oh! You must be the new neighbor girl." The woman bent down to meet Roz's level. "Are your parents home?"

Aggravation and annoyance was the only emotion on Roz. Her eyes stayed in a permanent glare. 

"No. What do you want?"

The woman's smile showed no concern to the green villain she was talking to. " Well if you get a chance we would like to invite your family to the neighborhood family autumn cookout." 

She handed Roz a pamphlet that looked more like a retirement home add. The graphic design wasn't that good on it.

"We have food and games for the kids. We also have drinks, but that's for the adults only." The woman winked at Roz who was confused and irritated at this neighbors presence. 

"O...okay..."

"Oh! We also have movies we watch! Its super fun!"

"Moo-vees? Like...human worm acomplishments?"

"Yes. We watch them on a big screen!" So give that flier to your parents and we'll see you tonight."

"Thank you."

The door slammed in the woman's face. Roz took the flier and reviewed it several times.

"These humans are moronic. They fill their time with these silly games and earth food and moo-vees." A sudden thought hit.

"Wait. These movie things. They are pictures that the humans mindlessly watch. They all gather around and worship them as one. If I can hack into the film and do something to the radio waves to change their brains all at once I can..."

Roz observed the flyer again. "Oh but I need a 'family.' Hmph. That just men's more work. Oh well. For the glory of the empire. Dum!"

"Yes master!"

"Fetch me my engineering equipment!"

👽👽👽

The smell of roasted chicken and burgers filled the crisp autumn air. In the yard of the cookout were all of the neighboring families. Extended families of the neighbor's families showed up as well to join in on the so called "fun." One of these families was including, but not limited to, the Membranes. 

Mary walked up to Dib with a plate of fries.

"Hey Dad can I-"

"No. Your not going back inside to spy on the neighbor with your laptop."

"But Dad she could be doing anything right now! She could be planing the complete demise of the entire earth. Working on twisted plans to wipe the minds of humanity of free will. That disgusting green alien bug could press a button at any moment, and kill us all in an instant-"

"No." Dib stole a fry from Mary's plate. "Your not going to stay inside the house all day on your laptop. Its a nice day out. Besides, your Grandad is here." 

Dib points to an older man that looked almost identical to him. The old man sports the same clothing choises as Dib; a white labcoat and goggles. His only differences being that he has longer grey lighting bolt hair and is clearly older. A robot stood next to flipping burgers, contemplating if he should explode or not. All with a smile.

Mary looked puzzled. "Why is he here anyway?"

"He lives five blocks away and has nothing else to do now that your aunt and I don't live with him anymore."

"Ah..." Mary looked back at her dad remembering the previous topic. "You stay inside the house all day on weekends."

"Hey! Thats not true."

"Yes it is. You always say your and you sit at your desk and work on science stuff. The only time you go outside is for shopping."

"W-well...We were invited here and we're not going to be rude. Besides, she might not show up anyway."

"Hello fellow human neighbors!" From a distance away came the small confident voice of an Irken.

Dib muttered under his breath. "Maldito."

Mary turned her head 180 degrees in the direction of the voice. "Roz!"

"Yes! It is I! I am here for the cookouting! And I brought my family!"

The disguised alien moved herself and Dum, who was also in disguise, to the side, presenting the parent she had made for herself. 

The robot toned a red dress with purple earrings. They moved around on one leg with a wheel at the bottom, which was clear as day. The robot supported a bun that glowed with a lightbulb inside of it. The robot had googly eyes that never stayed still and a permanent smile was present from ear to ear.

Mary stomped over to the iritating Irken Roz, leaving her dad behind muttering: "hijo de puta. Tengo que lidiar con esta mierda?"

"So Roz. This...is Your parent?"

"Yes. Yes they are. And I appreciate them very much."

The small child looked up at the odd looking robot.

"Hey there!" They said.

"Yeah I'm not even going to get into that topic. Anyways, why are you here?"

"Silly filth monkey. I was invited."

"Invited? By who? Yourself?"

"I invited her!" The oblivious woman from the back stood up and waved her hand.

"Of course you did...of course you invited the alien..."

"Oh I'm not doing any harm. I'm nearly here to...to um...cookout..."

Roz plastered a fake smile on her face while Mary's unimused expression stayed still.

"Yeah ok sure. But just know I'm watching you space girl." And with that Mary stomped back to her father, who was now seated reading on his phone.

"Oh I'm betting on it. Ehahahahahah!"

"Nobody laughs meniachley like that on purpose!"

"Shut up your head is big!"

👽👽👽

"As you can all see my parent family is perfectly normal and disgusting like you."

"Hiyah!"

Roz's emotionless robot glitched and extended their hand to a group of both adults and kids.

"Can I pet your pig?" One of the children had asked.

"YOUR FILTHY HANDS DON'T GET TO TOUCH THEM!"

Across the grassy lawn area sat Mary and a child with curly hair eating corn.

The curly haired child stopped crunching on corn and spoke."So Louie?" 

"Mary." Mary corrected.

"Oh shoot sorry about that Mary."

"It's fine."

"Thank you. So how do you feel about the new neighbor girl? I think she's cool."

"I hate her."

The curly haired child seemed shocked. "What? Why?"

"Look at her Charmine. That nasty green hue. Those humongous eyes. She has no ears. She's clearly an alien!"

"You shouldn't say that about people Mary. She could be really nice."

"She almost killed my dad."

"You don't know that."

Mary growled and continued eating angrily. Speaking through her food she said:

"I don't trust her! I know she's up to something. Why else would she agree to coming here?"

"Well there is free food."

"Grrr."

Roz walked over to the two oldest membranes who were engaged in conversation.

"Ehem!"

Both men turned over to see the young Irken, her disguised SIR, and her robot parent.

"This is my parent family. I love them very much!"

"Ah what a lovely family! I heard you live next to my son! I am Professor Membrane. CEO and founder of Membrane labs." Professor Membrane extended his hand to the void robot that stood before him. The robot slapped his hand and screamed. 

"Hey!"

"Er...yes." Roz looked at the Membranes in nervousness. "We are very excited to be here."

"Hey your the kid my daughter talks about so much." Dib pointed at Roz as he spoke.

"Yes yes I am the child. Is your spawn Mary by any chamce?"

"Yes Mary is my daughter. Why?"

"It is becaise she is very mean to me." Roz leaned in and whispered with a hand to the side of her mouth. "She tried to beat me up in the cafeteria."

"Really? I guess I'll have to talk to her about her behavior then."

"Thank you." And with that Roz walked away with her two robots.

Professor Membrane turned to Dib. "Y'know...that little girl reminds me of the foreign friend you used to have as a child. Do you remember your foreign friend, son?

"Trato de que no."

Professor Membrane let out a hearty laugh in response to his son's response. "Ah....eran tiempos locos.

Roz strolled to a corner of the lawn. 

"Alright Dum. Now that the humans believe I am normal with a family, I can slip right by them and encode this in their movie technologies." She held up a disk with Irken lettering that said   
Control. 

"You stay here and watch the parent robot."

"Yes sir!"

"Good..." the green menace laughed meniachley under her breath as she walked away.

Dum sat down next to the robot as it continued to shout various greetings at nothing. Sometimes it would glitch and hit the air like it was begging for a slap.

The alien ran behind a large moniter that was porched in the lawn, surrounded by an array of chairs.

Behind the moniter was a small DVD player, with a disk already inside. Roz removed the DVD and replaced it with her control disk. 

"Hey new kid!"

"Gah!" Roz fell backwards. It was the Charamine girl Mary was talking to earlier. Except now he was holding a punch beverage.

"Oh. Hello human. What do you want?"

"Watcha doing?"

"It's not of your concern as to what I'm doing. And if you must know...you wont."

"Ok. Mary doesn't think you're a good person. She thinks your an alien."

Roz became annoyed with the presence of the human child. "I am aware."

"You guys should talk more. You might become friends."

"I'd rather eat my own shquaddle sack-I mean my inferior organs-before I even think about having a conversation with that stink girl."

"That's a shame...She doesn't have many friends. It's kind of hard for her to fit in. Shes not like a lot of other people y'know. She-"

"Is an annoying PEST fleshy nerd ball who keeps shoving her gargantuan human eyeballs and humongous head into my buisness?"

"Oh..." Charamine didn't say anything after and walked away, sipping on her fruity drink.

About a half an hour later. A man in the course lawn shouted at the top of his lungs: "Weregonnastartthemovienoweverybodysitinthelawnchairs!" The man abruptly passed out afterwards and an ambulance had to pick him up.

All of the humans sat around the big screen in lounge chairs that were placed in front of it. Roz stood in the back, waiting endlessly with a smirk for her plan to take action. Mary grabbed her shoulder unexpectedly.

"You! Space cockroach! What are you planing!"

Roz turned around and smacked Mary's hand off of her shoulder.

"Foolish human. I'm nearly watching the film. Now will you please leave me alone and go sit somewhere?"

Mary pushed back in retaliation.

"Why don't YOU go sit somewhere?"

"These people SMELL that's why!"

"Yeah ok I'll give you that. But I'm onto you."

Dib called from a chair in the distance. 

"Mary! Come sit over here with your Grandad and me!"

"Ok!" Mary strolled away to the chairs, but not be for turning back to Roz and stating so ominously:

"I'm onto you..."

The movie had started. All eyes on the screen waiting for the action to start. But all that appeared was a black and white spiral, along with some static.

Within the static was the audio of a familiar Irken. An Irken that stood in the crowd, watching her work come to fruition. 

The audio became more clear.

"I am Roz. The most valued invader in all of the universe. And you will all bend to my will. Worship me! All hail Roz!"

Mary turned around in her chair to face the actual alien from afar.

"You menace! I knew you were up to something!"

Out of nowhere, a haul of voices started too speak up in the same chant.

"All hail Rod! All hail Rod!"

"No not Rod! Thats wrong! Stop saying the worng thing! Its Roz-oh...never mind." 

The voices all stood up. Every one of them. And all voices hadeyes of the same spiral as the one on the screen.

"All hail Rod! All hail Rod!"

"Yes! Yes! Look around at my new army of mindless sacks of meat and juice! Look at them and fear!"

Mary ran up to Roz in a fury. "Your a monster! Let them go right now-oph!"

The second they came face to face Mary's arms were snatched by two hypnotized individuals. The individuals in question: her father and grandfather.

The bandanna wearing girl struggled to get free. She yelled at her family. "Let me go! Dad she's using you! Let me go! Grandad! Let go! Despierta!" 

The small green girl grinned sickeningly at the struggling Mary. "You're a resistant little nuisance aren't you?"

"I knew you were up to something. I knew it! You won't get away with this!"

"Oh you see but I already have. I controled these feeble human minds and turned them into my personal servants. I did exactly what i wanted to do and i got away with it. And I plan to do the same with the entire world."

"You're sick! Sick! You know, in Spanish there's a word for people like you. And that word is Mal! Tú eres pura maldad!"

"I may be pure evil but you...you're just pure stupid." Roz booped Mary's nose causing it to squeak. Roz giggled like a villain, and repeated the action. 

"You know what? Forget your humongous head this is way funnier."

Mary shook the alien off. "I am not stipid. If anything im smarter than most others here because I'm not hypnotized. I looked away!"

"That's right!" Roz's eyes widened "you're resistant. We can change that though. Servants!" She clapped her three fingered hands together.

"Don't clap at my family like they're your personal pets."

Roz then clapped her hands rapidly in Mary's face, agitating the tiny girl.

"Servants! Take this big headed, squeaky nosed child to the front of the screen. And pry her eyes open if you need to."

Both hypnotized men dragged Mary by her arms to the spiral presenting screen.

"No! No!"

"Yes! Yes!"

Mary was practicly faceplanted against the screen, that's how close she was. She tried to shut her eyes, but the light was so bright it was impossible. The chanting continued and spiral was slowly locking itself into Mary's memory. And it almost did completely until-

CRASH

"HELLO!"

The parent robot slammed into the screen.

Roz took a look of horror.

"Dum! I told you to watch the parent!"

The little unit was over by the grill were the cooking robot stayed flipping burgers.

"I wanted a burger."

Roz slapped her hand on her face and shouted at the robot.

"You! Stupid parent! Cease this right now and put the screen back up before-"

The robot picked up the screen and punched right through it.

"NO YOU FOLISH DEFECTIVE METAL SCRAP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

Mary took the suden destruction as an oportunity. She kicked Professor Membrane in the leg, bit Dib's arm, and broke free. The tiny girl picked up a sound system that was used to produce the audio and destroyed it.

"NO YOU PESTY HUMAN!"

Dum joined in with their burger in hand. They started kicking the movie equipment. 

"NO DUM WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

Roz was practicly scratching her eyes out. She couldn't take it anymore. She ordered the hypnotized humans to do something but they just stood there, chanting her name wrong. She ran up to the destruction but the glitchy parent robot caught Roz and held the Irken up to their face.

"HEY THERE!"

"YOU DEFECTIVE SCRAP LET ME GO!"

"HIYAH!"

"I HATE YOU!"

It came to a point where Mary found the control disk. She took it out of the DVD player and shattered it on the ground. Even after the damage was done she kept stepping on the disk's sharp remains. 

The parent robot finaly glitched out and dropped Roz face first into the ground. The alien screamed as she fell.

The hypnotized humans awake from their states as one does from a knockout. Mary's dad being one of them. He turned around at everyone else who was just waking up.

A woman from the back hollered: "My Movie equipment!" Everybody turned towards Mary.

Mary quit stomping the equipment. She directed herself towards the crowd and waved her hands. 

"Listen everybody! You've been brainwashed by that that alien!" Mary pointed at Roz." She used this...well what used to be a disk...to control your minds and bend to her will!"

The woman who screamed previously started to cry. "My equipment....oh my equipment...now what will I watch my movies with?" She blew her nose into someone else's shirt.

Mary looked disappointed. "You guys...aren't listening to me are you?"

"Mary Membrane!" Dib stomped over to the pile of broken tech. His arm was still in pain.

"Did you do this? Did you break all of this?"

"N-no not all of it. But the disk. You were hypnotized. You and-"

"We were invited here Mary. That woman invited us hwre and you broke her stuff."

"But Dad you-"

"You're grounded."

"WHAT? But Dad I-"

"Look at this Mary! It's completely destroyed. You broke this woman's things!"

"I was trying to save you."

Dib stuttered and sighed in exhaustion. "Go apologise to that woman. And go back to the house. Your grounded and that's it." He was calmer in this remark.

"Dad-"

"Mary!"

"...ok." Mary strolled silently over to the woman who's equipment she busted, and offered her apologies.

Roz got up and took Mary's defeat as a sign of her victory. 

"This is not what I wanted. But I will settle for that girl's disdain. Come on Dum! Lets go!"

Rod dragged the glitchy parent bot by the arm back to her base. The robot gave one last "Bonjour" on the way there.


	6. Gamer Glitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Royal, an infamous group of competitive gamers, comes to town. One of these team members is none other than Gaz Membrane. Roz sees this gamer arrival as an opportunity. Dib sees it as confrontation he knows doesn't want to deal with.

"Did you hear?"

"Hear what? I can't hear much. My ear got maggots inside of it." 

"Team Royal is coming to town."

"Will you two shut up!" Ms. Bitters glared directly into the mortal students' souls. "There's a test being taken."

Roz whispered to the squeaky nosed girl next to her. "Hey filth stink. There's a team of royal monarchs on this chaotic, stupid ball of filth?"

"No you stuck up alien idiot. Team Royal is-"

"Stop talking in my class!"

The bell rang, flushing out a swarm of children from the classrooms to the stench scented hallways. 

Roz shut her locker and turned twoards Mary's locker, which was right next door.

"So meat head. You didn't awnser my question." 

"And?"

"And? And I want to know who this team of royals are!"

Mary sighed. "They're not royalty they're a bunch of gamers."

"Gay-mers?"

Mary fixed her bandanna, which showed off a puppy pattern.

"They play video games. Don't tell me you don't know what a video game is. I guess they don't have them on your planet. Did you hear that guys! Roz doesn't know what a video game is-"

Roz slapped her hand over Mary's mouth. "Will you shut your noise hole up you stinky pig!"

Once the gaze of confused humans subsided, Roz removed her hand. 

"Ehem...so...what do these gamers do? And I'm not as stupid as the rest of you I know what video games are. We have them where im from. Were far more advance than you feeble humans."

"They just play video games. For sport."

"They play the games...for sport?"

"Yeah."

Mary shut her locker and headed towards home. She called back to Roz.

"But you would know that if you were human!"

"Shut up you sack of worthless organs!"

👽👽👽 

Mary sat on her living room couch, watching a cartoon of vampire bees and Bigfoot. She sat memorized by the action on the wide screen.

Dib sat down next to Mary, holding a small bowl of popcorn.

"Can't watch cartoons without something to snack on."

Mary snatched the whole bowl away from her dad and becmgan devouring the popped corn.

"You're not going to share that are you?"

"Mrno."

"I'm gonna take that as a no. So watcha watchin."

Mary paused, then resumed talking normaly. "Vampire Bees vs Bigfoot. This is the fifth episode this season. It's good so far. The Bigfoot, Squatch, is angry at the vampire bee for leaving so long, but bigfoot changed and the vampire bee, Vlad, cant even stand to look at him anymore."

"Oh...how'd he change?"

"You need to watch the first two seasons."

"Why can't you just tell me."

Mary took a huge swing of the popcorn bowl. "Mph...imph woumph ruimph tphe showmph epxiriumph."

"Come again?"

"Ah. I said it would ruin the show experience."

"I see."

About ten seconds of footage passed. 

"Do you believe in vampire bees, Mary?"

"I believe in vampire bees, Bigfoot, mothman, gonk slugs, aliens, daemons, pepper reapers, and ghosts."

"Hmm...interesting."

Ten more seconds of human silence, popcorn eating, and western cartoons.

"Hey Dad?"

"Hm?"

"Team Royal is coming to our town soon."

"Oh...they are." Dib sounded less than thrilled. 

"That means Auntie Gaz is coming back."

"You haven't seen her in a few years have you."

"No. The last time I saw her was the holidays. I looked different. Does she know my new name?"

"No. I don't think she does. I wanted you to do that. You'd be more comfortable doing it on your own terms."

"I know. Hey Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Why does Auntie hate you?"

"What? She doesn't hate me." A look of sweaty nervousness rushed on Dib's face. "Why would you think that?"

"Well...you guys don't talk a lot."

"I talk to her."

"Not a lot. You know she told me you were a coward the last time she came to town."

"Huh? Why would she say that."

"She said you poke fun on the fact that she's in a game group, but you never did what you loved to do."

"What? I love what I do. Science is my life. I'm happy doing it." Dib shuffled nervously. " She's just mad at me because I don't think gaming is a real career. Hey do you want a drink with all that salt your not sharing?"

"Do we have strawberry soda?"

"I'll go get it."

"Thanks Dad. I love you."

"No problem kiddo...no problem at all..."

👽👽👽

"Dum! Hand me the program encoder!"

"Ok! Here you go!"

"D...Dum This is a pickle."

"I like pickles!"

"Why are you so useless sometimes?"

Roz worked effortlessly on her most greatest invention yet to be. A headpeice. But not just any headpeice, a gaming headpiece. The green Irken laughed maniachly on the floor where she was working. Her antennae wiggling with motivation.

"With this headset piece, I will make these gamers follow my every lead, and they won't even realize it! Ahahahaha!" Roz stretched out her claw. "Dum! Hand me the code encoder!"

"Yes master!" The broken SIR handed Roz an object that was definitely not a code encoder.

"D...Dum that's a pickle."

"I like pickles." 

"Yes and I'm sure you do. Now hand me the encoder!"

Dum placed the pickle in Roz's hand. The juice burned right through her glove, creating a reactive screech of pain. Roz they the pickle at the wall, where it stuck for the rest of the day. Roz was now impatient. 

"Dum! The encoder!"

"Oooooh. You mean the cubey thing?" 

Roz slapped her hand to her face. "Yes Dum. The cubey thing."

"Okay!"

This time, a floading cube was brought into Roz's possession. It was a dark color that glowed erie lines of purple. Four plug sockes were engraved in the cube. Roz plugged a wire into one of these sockets, connecting the cube to a headset. The headset shot sparks of lightning through the base, hiptune music erupted from the sides, and it started floating in mid-air along with the cube.

Roz laughed a most villainous laugh. Dum joined in on this creating a harmony of maniachly laughing.

"Ahahahahah-OW! Stupid burning pickle juice." Roz rubbed her still burning hand. "Dum get me the pink and white pattern bandages box!"

👽👽👽

a normal scene is to be perceived at this moment. Just a man walking the streets, drinking out of a soda cup he got from a local fast food chain. Just cruising with no care in the middle of the street. That is until a large black van with a crowned skull symbol hits him point blank after speeding down the road.

A large crowd quickly surrounds the van and started taking pictures. A red carpet was laid down in front of the vans back door. An usher got out and opened the door for four individuals. The first three were unimportant. One of them, Wartz looked like a normal vanilla guy who didn't shower in a day out of anxiety. Another individual, Mizi, had the appearance of a goth girl with pink hair tips. The third individual was a furry named Snoot. 

but when the fourth individual stepped out, that is when everybody went nuts. people were climbing over the ushers and getting punched just to try and get close to her presence. Why was everyone crowded around this one person more than the others? It was because this person had sharply short purple hair. This person had permanently squinted and always focused squint. This person was the number one gamer, possibly in the whole known universe. This person was none other than Gaz Membrane.

Together this somehow famous group of gamers formed Team Royal, the number one competitive gaming group in the entire world. 

from across the street away from the crowd stood Professor Membrane, Mary, and Dib in Dib's front lawn.

"Aha! It appears that your sister has arrived in town! Why don't you go say hello son?"

"I'll talk to her later." Dib didn't want to talk to her at all.

Out of the corner of her lasses lens, Mary spotted what she believed to be a little green space booger darting over towards the crowd of insane fans. In response, Mary ran over, but was caught immediately by her Dad.

"Nope!"

"Dad let me go she's gonna hurt Auntie!"

"Your aunts fine."

"But that green space girl is gonna do something! Dad let me go! I have to-"

"You don't have to do anything in a large crowd of harmful, rampaging, unwashed fans. You're gonna get hurt."

"You smell too!"

"Hey!"

Away from the Membrane family and into the crowd, Roz started kicking down rabid fans, news anchors, and children. 

"Move it! Get out of my way! Move you stupid meat sacks!"

A reporter shoved a microphone in Gaz's face.

"Gazlene Membrane! Is it true that you've been playing video games since the day you were born?"

Gaz appeared disappointed and dumbfounded.

"Are you stupid? Are you an actual idiot? Do you own half a braincell that you don't use?"

"MOVE YOU UGLY WEASEL!"

Roz shouted at t he top of her alien lungs and slapped the reporter to the ground. The Irken stood on top if the reporter's body.

"Hello Gamer person!" T  
Roz put away her angry appearance and put on a more friendly one.

"I have been hearing that you and your monarch group love to play screen games."

Gaz looked down and opened her eyes larger than a squint.

"Oh my God."

"I can tell by your expression that you are engaged in this conversation."

"I hoping you might know my brother."

"I have known no one. Here I made this!"

Roz handed Gaz a headset from the box.

"It is a game that you will enjoy."

Wartz pushed Has to the side. 

"Oh a headset. What game is it?"

"It is a competitive game."

Mizi appeared. "What genre?"

"Game genre."

Snoot emerged and grabbed the box with three other headsets and four gauntlets.

"Those go with the game." Roz was awfully fake in her cheerfulness. "So are you going to play it or not?"

"There's nothing to plug it into," Gaz said, "plus it looks weird."

"Oh but you must play it. If you do you will prove your worth as the...best gamer ever." The last part of the sentence was spoke in a questioning tone.

"Best gamer ever huh?" Has thought for a minute, looked passed the crowd into Dib's house.

"Sure." She was certain but unenthusiastic. "But we need a place to hook it up to. And a TV."

The goth girl spoke up. "There's a massive TV in the convention hall." 

"Alright let's go then." Gaz put the headset she was presented with into the box it came from.

Team Royal, and Roz, got back into the van. Roz looked past the mindless crowd to Mary in the distance. Grinning sickeningly at the short, enraged, squeaky nosed, big headed child. 

The van drove off.

👽👽👽

The crowd was insane at the convention center. To Roz, it was just under the crowd at Conventia.

The wires, speakers, and TVs were just about finished in the setting up process. The headsets and gauntlets were stationed on podiums. There purple aura was sickening. 

Everything was going according to plan. Everything was in station. There was just one thing missing, and it wasn't Dum because he was supposed guarding the base. Even though Dum wasn't actually doing any guarding and was just walking around, ordering stuff from local chains, and paying with paper clips and lose pieces of string. He would go back to the base eventually.

But there was one thing missing. Roz went backstage into a dressing room to take off her wig and contacts. She was also there to wait. But there wasn't much of a wait at all. 

From above Roz and into the vents was a crawling individual. And then a pounding. A large pounding. And then a large slam.

"Ah Mary what a supri-Oh no you are not Mary!"

Rod turned her head to shield her alien face from a greasy, sweaty nerd who had crawled his way through the vents.

"Uh...no I'm looking for Ga-"

"No witnesses!" Roz fired a lazer from her pak and obliterated the nerd to ash. He smelled bad so she was relieved that he was gone. 

But now there was another crawling from the vents. And another pounding. And when Mary fell onto the ground this time, Roz was only a little less prepared.

"You filthy space freak! What are you doing with my aunt! Where is she?"

"Relaxe you overreactice worm. Your human relative is safe with her equaly ugly friends."

"Don't call my aunt ugly!"

"She's ugly."

"Grrr!"

Mary collected herself after her fall, and fixed her star pattern bandanna. She stopped herself when she finally got a look at what the mean green menace looked like. Antennae and eyes apparent.

"You know pig face. You've been fixated and apparent on taking me down that I felt it unfair for you to not see me before you die."

"God your just as ugly as I thought you would be. But your also...not that different looking. I really don't know what I expected actually."

"Ahahahaha!" Roz coughed and resumed her monologue. "As I was saying-"

"Like you look exactly the same, just with big blue eyes and a little curl on your antennae."

"As I was-"

"Like I actually expected you to like, moot out of your skin and turn into a grotesque praying mantis or the cockroach from the MIB movie but it really is just you."

"AS I WAS-"

"Like your pak doesn't sprout wings? I know it has legs, but is that really all it has? Do you really just look like this?"

"SHUT UP!"

"Ok I was just asking."

"Now then...what was I going to say? You ruined it you ruined my monologue! You ruin everything! You stupid flesh monkey!"

Rod threw an all out tantrum, calling Mary names like big-head, smelly face, stupid, filthy dirt baby, ugly goose snail, tiny filth face, squeaky snot, and many more.

Mary walked towards Roz with a pair of handcuffs she pulled from her pockets. However, when Mary took a step forward, she was shot with a lazer rope and fell to the ground unable to move. Roz had quickly exited her outburst as quickly as it started.

"Your funny if you think you can get me that easily." Roz booked Mary's nose. "Don't you know I'm taller than you?"

Mary squirmed around, trapped by the glowing rope. "Yeah? Everyone's taller than me? What does that mean?"

"It...it means I'm smarter than you..."

"What? No it doesn't what does height have to do with any-AHHHHH!"

The floor opened up to be a trap door, sending Mary straight below. 

"Now if you'll excuse me. I have a game to watch." Roz fixed her wig and put in her contacts. "Besides, you don't want to miss your big part in all of this.

The stage was set and the lights went dim. The only sources of light now was the small hint of blue under Roz's contacts, and her sickening grin from behind the stage. 

Just then a smoke machine set of a large cloud that looked like it could block up someone's lungs in three seconds. The smoke cloud formed a gigantic crowned skull in the air, and under it, team royal passed through. One by one they were introduced and each time the crowd got wilder. 

The headsets and gauntlets, placed on podiums, were each picked up and put on by the team members. After this the TV above them turned on. 

The TV had a shot of dugital goblin looking enemies. There was a whole crowd of them. Not too unlike the crowd in front of the screen.

Once team royal was adjusted to their sickening equipment, they were oblivious to the outside world. Not a single voice could get into their head, all they could hear was the games audio.

A countdown appeared on the TV.

"Three."

The headsets shot an aura of purple hue.

"Two."

The headsets glitches in an array of pixels. 

"One."

The headsets appeared to resume normality.

"Start!"

The second the game started is the same second when the first audience member started getting beaten up and thrown across the room. 

Each gamer jumped off stage and started pummeling every person in sight. Wartz jumped off stage and started uppercutting children, Mizi transformed her gauntlet controller into a sword and started cutting away at the spectators choices of snack, Snoot started biting people's heads, and Gaz fired rappid hot energy beams from her gauntlet.

For each audience member knocked out, there was an enemy defeated on the TV. And even though they were practically being beaten to death, everyone still cheared.

Roz was howling with evil laughter backstage. Everything was going great. There was absolutely no chance this could actually fail. 

"My Tallest will be so proud of me." Roz giggled and jumped up and down with evil excitement. 

A janitor stood next to Roz and began to ask the question "Hey what are you doing backstage kid" before immediately getting pounded out of the building by Snoot. He was never the same after that.

At one point, Wartz attempted to steal a "health pack" from an enemy, which was really just popcorn from a child spectator. The child started crying and promptly beat up Wartz till he was "defeated." Wartz was then revived by an energy beam Had shot out of her gauntlet.

After that, just about everyone in the crowd was defeated. The team of gamers directed themselves towards Roz, who just came out onstage.

"Congratulations Gamers. You have defeated every enemy here. But now you must fight the worst of them all. The greatest threat to yourselves." 

A platform's raised itself from below the floor. On that platform was the still restrained Mary. Once fully raised the little girl turned towards the team on angry gamers.

"Oh no. Oh come on. Anda ya."

"This is your greatest threat." Roz smirked. "Destroy it at all costs!"

The TV began to count down again.

"Three."

"Auntie Gaz please! You know me!"

"Two."

"Auntie I know I'm different since the last time you saw me, but you have listen to me! Roz is an alien shes controlling you!"

"One."

"Auntie please!"

"Start!"

Mary let out a piercing screech. Only to be met with Mizi's blade. The glad cut right though the lazer rope, letting Mary run away. But the second Mary ran she was met by a fist flurry by Wartz and was punched into the convention wall. Gaz ran up to Mary, took her by the arms, and swung her right back over to the other side of the room. 

"Auntie no-AAAAAAAH!"

Snoot caught Mary in mid air as if she were a football and he was a catcher.

The furry mascot man glared into Mary's core. She was clearly frightened as she was faced with a wolf hungry for bloodshed. 

Snoot opened his furry jaw to reveal a set of teeth so sharp you would think that it was a real wolf. And then CRUCNCH! The furry yelped in pain.

He had bit Mary's frontal lobe hoping to kill "the boss," but instead he got a broken jaw. Mary fell to the ground as Snoot held his mouth in agony. Gas attempted to revive the damaged gamer but it wasn't working.

Roz begame iritated."What are you doing? Kill that hideous creature!"

When Snoot came to himself he let go of his snout and revealed his now disfigured face. But not only was Snoot's fluffy face ruined, but so was his headset. The alien tech glitches out of control to a point where he couldn't even tell what was going on?

"What? But how? Is your hideous head really that thick?"

Mary slowly got up to recover. "I've got metal in my head Roz.

"Excuse me what?"

"I've got solid membranium in my head. The strongest metal there is!"

"WHY DO YOU HAVE METAL IN YOUR HEAD?"

"Don't wanna break it."

Roz just stood there in disbelief until she snapped to the remaining team royal members.

"You! Strong sacks of worthless fluids! Crush that filthy beast!"

"Oh no."

The rest of the gamers readied their weapons as Mary began to sweat.

Mizi flung herself and her sword straight at the little girl. Mary swiftly dogged to the side and jumped on the blade wielding gamer's shoulders. Mary elbowed the back of the headset, breaking it instantly. Mizi's now glitching sword went flying from her grasp. 

Roz shrieked from the sidelines. "Oh what you have metal arms now too?"

"Yep!"

"WHY?"

"Don't want em to break!" Mary leaped off of Mizi's shoulders and caught the sword mid air. She darted in Wartz's direction and completely sliced his headset in half.

Roz sat down on the floor and put her head in her hands and insulted Mary under her breath. "Tallest almighty, I really hate this human worm."

The tiny girl stood like a hero. Sword in hand she felt like she was prepared. That is until she was hit by an incredibly strong lazerblast.

Gaz swept out of nowhere, pushing Mary into a wall ANF throwing punches and lasers like it was no ones business. Mary dogged most of the blows but she was scrapped by some of the blows.

With one quick duel hand motion, Mary was able to block the gauntlet from hitting her head.

Mary struggled to push back the raging gauntlet. The purple lights on wish grew brighter and brighter, slowly becoming a burning purple flame. 

"Auntie....p-please!"

Gaz couldn't hear or see. And what she could see was a monster, and all she could hear was the growls of a daemon attempting to take her title as "best gamer ever" away. She had no idea there was a family right in front of her. 

"Its me...except I'm not how I used to be...But I'm still me...Auntie!"

Nothing was working. Nothing at all. The force Gaz used only got stronger.

"Why wont you just drop dead already!" Gaz was out for bloodshed.

"Im sorry about this Auntie." Mary, with quick thinking, headbutted the headset, causing it to crack. 

She did it again and again. And with each headbutt, a chip on the headset would be made. 

Gaz finally loosened her grip on the burning gauntlet, allowing Mary to make one final blow to the glitching headset.

"AGH!"

Gaz covered her face and tried to preserve the broken pieces, but the remains of the headset crumbled to the ground like bits of hard concrete.

Mary just sat there, breathing hard in relief.

Gaz yelled in fury, her usually squinted eyes widened in anger. "DAMNIT! Juego estupido! Mi auricular se rompió-"

Just the she turned to Mary's direction. At first she didn't recognise the tiny kid. But then she realized.

"Hey. You look like my brother."

Mary just looked, still panting. 

Roz became scared at Gaz's anger and decided it was time to leave. She quickly tool the time to pick up the remains of alien tech.

Gaz approached Mary and spoke again. "What's your name?"

"M-M-Mary."

"Mary huh?" Gaz picked Mary up and swung her around, carrying her like a box. She talked on the way out the door. "Nice choice."

Mary was still nervous, but very relieved. "Thanks! Dad helped me pick it out."

"Heh. I was supposed to go see them today."

"Will the rest of the team be fine?"

"Probably."

A little silence before the two exited the building. 

"Hey you know you were being manipulated by an alien right?"

👽👽👽

A knock on Dib's residence. He opened the door.

"Oh hey! I didn't know youu two got to see each other. Dad is inside. Mary go wash your face it's covered in dirt."

Mary ran upstairs and Gas strolled to Proffesor Membrane who was in the dining room.

After a quick hello she walked back to her brother, who was now in the kitchen.

"So...you got a new neighbor."

"I know."

"And Mary is obsessive over her."

"I know."

"Its funny considering-"

"I KNOW!" Dib took a deep breath. "I know."

"So you gonna tell the kid or."

"Nope."

"Why? I bet you could have fun for once."

"Hey science is fun ok? I have fun at my job. I LOVE it!"

"Not according to your anti depressants and your constant crying yourself to sleep."

"I don't cry myself to sleep."

"You used to."

"Well I don't. Besides, I'd much rather lean Mary twoards a path of science than twoards a life of ruin."

"Damn then she'll really end up like you, won't she? Depressed and all."

"I am not depressed. I chose an actual job that would make my life better-"

"Hey! Just because I chose to be happy with my life doesn't mean you get to whine to me about how upset it makes you that you can't be happy!"

"I'm not whining about anything im just saying-"

"That I can't have a fun life? That I have to do science and be depressed like you? God your starting to sound like Dad. I love him but sometimes the science stuff gets annoying."

"Hey! He made me into a better person and persuaded me to a better life."

"You chose to be a coward."

"I'm not a coward!"

"Yes you are. Your voice gets higher when you lie."

"I'm not lying."

Dib huffed. "You know you also complained about...about my obsession with HIM too. So don't just complain about the science and say that you supported the paranormal stuff because you and everyone else didn't."

"We were kids! It's not like I would know you would become a whole different, even more annoying person!"

Dib's expression grew sadder as Gaz kept talking. "Besides," she said,"you're not even happy. And when you're this sad, it's just depressing. You're my brother man. I hate seeing you this miserable."

Dib didn't look his sister in the eye. Deep down he knew he couldn't do it with the awnser he was about to give "I am happy" He stated. "I'm very happy."

"Oh children!" Professor Membrane called from the side. He walked into the kitchen. "I couldn't help but hear your bickering and I just wanted to make sure everything was ok."

"Yeah dad." Gas started. Dib followed with "everything is ok."

"That's great news!" The professor reached into his coat pockets. He pulled out two bottles of dark berry cola. "Because I know something that will make it even better."

Gaz opened her eyes. "Dad these are limited addition!"

The scientist tossed the soda bottles to his children. "I don't like these very much but I knew you two liked them and I brought them for you."

"Thanks Dad."

"Yeah! Thanks Dad."

"Hoho! Anytime children. Anytime."

As the adults stayed in the kitchen, Mary stayed upstairs trying to clean up the bruises and scrapes in her head.

👽👽👽

Roz walked in on Dum and slammed the broken hardware on the bases floor. She sat down next to the broken unit.

"So what are you doing?" The Irken asked.

"Playing a video game."

"Oh." She was still irritated at the transpired events. "What game?"

"Super monkey kart 2."

"Oh."

"You wanna play?"

Roz paused for a minute. Then accepted the offer with a sigh. "Sure." She grabbed a controller and started playing.

And through the night both Roz and Dum played the game, with Roz doing most of the yelling involved with competitive gaming, and Dum doing most of the winning.


	7. Slippery Claw Machine of Doom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dum secretly needs a big Meemoop donkey plush. They won't even complete their mission unless Roz gets the enormous plushie.

"So, ugly pig child. It seems you have managed to crawl into my base and attempt to expose my advanced technology and georgeous looks to the world."

"But your ugly. That's why I wanted to take the pictures, and show to the world how ugly and evil you are."

"SHUT UP!"

Mary dangled from the ceiling, trapped in chords like a dog in a hug it doesn't want to be in. She had attempted to sneak into Roz's base and uncover all of her secrets, but she was caught when her camera fell to the ground right next to Roz in the lower levels of the base. 

"You should have known you wouldn't get far human. And if your-"  
She booped Mary's squeaky nose. "misshap didn't happen, you would have just died another way. This place is filled with advanced security systems you know."

"This place may be filled with alien security, but I still got past most of it."

"That annoies me to no end and I have no clue how you managed to do that but you will tell me right now!"

Roz was pissed but Mary was unfazed. She even mocked Roz by sticking her tongue out after telling her: 

"Wouldn't you like to know space girl."

Roz growled in fury and slammed a button on her control panel so hard it cracked the panel itself.

The chords that held Mary swung her into a blue bubble looking cage. Roz carried dumb over to said cage and set Dum down right in front.

"My neo SIR unit Dum is modified with an space time bending lazer. With one hit they will obliterate you and the cage you are in to nothing but floating particles in an endless air of smell. Do you have any last words to say you pitiful excuse for an organism?"

"Yeah. Why do you call them Dum? I never understood that. And why do they have a crack in their eye? Also they just left."

"DO NOT QUESTION ME YOU FEEBLE LITTLE MONKEY- hey where did they go?"

Dum had gone in the time of Roz's speach.

"Dum? Dum! Where are you? Get over here right now!"

There was no awnser.

"Grrrr! Dum where are you?"

Roz walked away, leaving Mary alone in the bubble.

Mary asked the computer: "So...computer?"

"Yeah? What do you want?"

"Can you let me out?"

"I don't know."

"Oh...well I'm probably gonna be here for a while then."

"Probably." The computer sounded irritated. Not at Mary, just in a general sense.

"Yeah...I just gotta leave at four. You got any snacks down here?"

Roz took an elevator from the base to the fake cabinets on the upstairs floor. She stomped over to the couch in which Dum was sitting on.

"Um excuse me!"

"Yeeeeeees?" Dum sounded as if there was nothing wrong.

"You're supposed to be destroying the human," Roz stammered, "It's your mission!"

"But I wanna watch Meemoop." 

"Dum...what on Irks purple planet is a Mee-moop?"

"It's the show."

Dum pointed to the television on which a cartoon of a fluffy donkey was presented. The opening song started playing.

"Meemoop, the big fluffy donkey. Meemoop, the prince of cutenes land!  
Meemoop, he regrets his past lifechoices.  
Meemoop, he's gonna try and kill his friend!"

"Yes that's all very well and good." Roz was confused at how her SIR found enjoyment in silly cartoons."But you have a MISSION Dum." She pointed to the floor, signifying that Mary still needed to be obliterated.

Dum wasn't listening though. Instead they got even more excited and jumped up and down at a commercial about the same donkey show.

"Hey y'all!" The TV shouted earpeircingly. "How would you like to own a Meepmoop of your very own? Just come on down to any old arcade and play a jumbo clawmachine to get your very own sad fluffy donkey!" A notice ran by the screen. "Warning, the smell on the stuffed toy may contain harmful chemicals that could manifest into asbestos. Do not eat the donkey. You will have regrets just like him."

Dum lapped from their seat and started clapping. "I WANT ONE! I WANT ONE!"

"Dum we have a MISSION we have to acomplish! We don't have time for stupid fluffy-"

Dum started crying histericley. "BUT I WANT ONE! I WANT A DONKEY MASTER! I WANT THE DONKEY!"

Roz became agitated. She couldn't handle loud sounds, especially crying. 

"Fine! I'll get you the stupid toy!"

Dum ceassed crying "Yay!" 

"But one one condition! You must kill the squeaky nosed flesh rodent when I get it!"

"Yes Master!"

"Good."

👽👽👽

The Irken and her unit had been driving in the spaceship for ten minutes.

"Because I don't want to be near any humans, we are going to Arcadia, the arcade planet. Let's hope they have them there."

"Oooookaaay."

Roz was betting that they didn't have the stuffed toy on the planet. The sooner Dum realized it was impossible to get, the sooner Roz could end her nemesis.

Once they arrived in a suitable spot on the planet, a place called Clawlers, Roz and Dum strolled out of the ship to investigate the arcade and it's inhabiting claw machines.

The building was packed wall to ceiling in claw machines like an overstocked warehouse. The machines came in all sizes. Each one had a different themed design, like a skull and crossbones burning out of its eyesockets, or a bunch of sparkling bubbly rainbows on it. There was even one that wqas broken, old, and musty. The machines had different claws in them, ranging from normal claws, to deamon spider claws, to unicorn hoods, eldrich tentacle monster claws, and so on and so forth. Aliens from across the universe came in all different forms here: ugly, smelly, sticky, and small. A couple of aliens in a tranchcoat piggybacked on one another to reach the machines that sat on top of each other. Another alien ran out screaming his head off that he lost it. He lost it all. 

800 claw machines the two looked through. And 800 of them were empty of the fluffy donkey prize. Roz was ready to pack it on home and kill Mary once and for all. 

She talked to Dum as if he was a small child. "Ah...oh well. Your weird animal toy isn't here. I guess we'll just have to go home and continue the mission. Let's go-"

Dum gapped and tugged on Roz's arm. They started jumping up and down.

There it was. The gigantic fluffy Meemoop donkey plushie. In The biggest claw machine in the galaxy. Just sitting there, waiting to be grabbed.

Dum rushed over to the machine and immediately put a quarter in it. They lost and continued to pile the machine with quarters.

Roz watched in shock as Dum continuously grabbed the plush toy with success, but because of the machines slippery nature, the fake donkey kept falling on its ass to the bottom machine. Again, again, and again. 

Eventually Dum ran out of quarters. 

"Awwwwwweeee!" 

"Wellp. That does that." Roz reached out for Dum's arm and tried to pull him away from the machine. But the little robot kept resisting and was reaching outward towards the slippery machine.

"Common Dum. let's go. We have a mission to accomplish."

Roz noticed that Dum started crying. Their sniffling left Roz conflicted. She knew that if she didn't get that toy, Dum would cry for days on end and not get to destroy Mary. The mission would be ruined. But on the other hand, if she did get the toy, Dum would be happy and they might even elevate the amount of space time damage done with the lazer. The plan would be successful and Earth conquest could be her's.

"Alright! I'll get your fluffy thing. Now stop crying and get me some quarters."

Dum looked happier that he would ever be anywhere else in his life. He screamed in joy so loudly it cracked some of the surrounding glass. 

Roz approached the machine. It's circular shape and gigantic lettering of Jumbo Claw strutted out to the far ends of the building.

She put her the fingers on the control stick, still waiting for the quaters, trying to get a feel for the machine when suddenly...

"Move it kid!"

"Ow!" Roz was shoved to the side by a taller red Irken, accompanied by a purple one. 

"Yeah move it!" Purple echoed after Red. "We got this one!"

"H-HEY! I WAS HERE FIRST!" Roz stammered.

"Not a chance kid," stated Red "Purple over here has been eyein this one the entire time before you probably even got here."

"Yeah! It's big and looms like a pillow. I can sit on it and eat snacks all day!"

"It'll be a luxury on our days off from serving that screaming attention hogger, which is next to none."

The little blue Irken was so furious that her antennae twitched rapidly. 

"Well if I don't get it then my entire mission will be ruined. My neo SIR won't even function if I dint get it!"

Purple turned towards Roz. "Hey. Your the kid from Conventia."

"How did you get a neo SIR?"

"Or a mission?"

"You were kicked out of the building."

Rod faced them in stride. "No no no. You forgot. My title was stolen from me by that bee colored Irken. I took it back by force."

"Oh mighty Myuki gone away," Red wispered started to sweat, " it's another Zim."

"Look," he said, "why don't I uh...just give you this." Red handed Roz a pack of half eaten space nuggets. "And you can leave us alone and go back to whatever mission you stole."

Purple chimed in, pulling out a bag of nacho munchins. "Sounds good to me."

"But my neo SIR NEEDS that stupid stuffy thing or they won't comply with the mission!"

Purple sassed: "Well that's not our problem."

"I'M GETTING THAT DUMB DOOKIE ANIMAL AND I'M GOING TO OBLITERATE MARY MEMBRANE IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO IN MY IRKEN INVADING, IDIOT INFESTED, DISGUSTING GERM SURROUNDED LIFE!"

Roz's outburst caused the whole ground to shake to the point where the two aliens stacked on top of each other fell to the ground. The entire arcade had their attention to the trio that stood at the circular jumbo machine. Jaws were dropped due to the sheer amount of vibrating force. Dirt aliens popped up from the dark blue, pink triangle pattern floor to know what was going on. The workers were the only people unfazed as child outbursts happened all the time. But even they knew they weren't that loud, or that shaking.

It would have been the smart choice to just leave, but both Red and Purple act as if they both share one braincell. So they stood there nervous, not knowing what they should do. They turned to themselves and whispered. You could almost here one of them say "But the donkey."

The two finished their discussion and turned twoards the smaller, more irritated Irken with fumes flaming off of her angularly curled antennae.

"As higher ups and top soldiers under the tallest Zim," Purple folded his arms behind his back, "we are going to challenge you."

"No were not gonna-"

"Well I thought you said we were gonna take turns with the kid."

"Yeah I said take turns, not challenge them. Look kid," Red crouched down and directed himself to Roz, "let's just take turns on the machine. If you win, you get the large animal. If we win, we get the large animal and you won't kill us. Sound like a deal?" 

"Hm..." Roz thought to herself with confidence and determination. "I accept your challenge. But I will come out victorious." She tried to shake Reds hand only for him to snatch it away from her.

"Don't touch me" he stated.

Dum came back to his masters side with a large stack of space quarters. Purple immediately sighed in anguish.

"Oh this is gonna be a long while isn't it."

And so the game was on. While Purple and Dum stood on the sidelines cheering on their respective players, Roz and Red took intense turns with the space quarters and the slippery machine.

Each grab was more intense than the last. At a point Roz was so close but Dum jumped at the machine last second and shook it yelling "DID WE WIN?"

At another point, Red almost had the big plush toy in his grasp, but lost it last second due to Roz's fake and loud coughing. The coughing that made Red acedentaly slam on the machine.

Twenty five rounds each. And twenty five if them all looses. But it was now down to the last two quarters. 

Roz put hers in. She slowly moved the crane above the donkey, making no suddsen movements that would irritate the interior grabbing claw. The claw lowered, began to pick up the big fluffy prize, but the claw was slippery and let go of the donkey.

Roz stammered. "No! N-NO! Who has another quarter! I need it no! It's mine I'm supposed to get it! I need it! I-"

"My turn." Red pushed Roz to the side. He moved the claw to the big plush. This time it actually picked up the prize. It continued to move the toy over to the front of the machine. The toy was dropped into the prize box, making Red the victor.

Both tall Irkens shouted in joy.

"Wooho!"

"FINALY! Now we can eat our snacks on the most comfortable thing in the galaxy."

If Roz had pupils they would be the tiniest things surrounded by the biggest branchiest veigns.

"But...no. No. Thats mine..." The green space girl started shaking.

"Hey," said purple, "rules are rules!"

"But I was supposed to win that..."

"You didn't win anything" Red stated. "You lost."

"But I-" 

The two tallers strolled away, both attempting to carry the enormous reward.

Dum looked sad, but didn't start crying. Instead they just pouted and said "Oh well" in the saddest robotic tone ever conceived. 

Roz became upset and showed signs of guilt as Dum was now saddened and would probably refuse to perform at a level she would like because of her faliures. But then she became enraged. Enraged that she failed because in her mind, she was cheated. That was her prize. She needed that prize and should have gotten it. It was rightfully hers. And if they think they can take it from her then...

"I'm going to take my prize from your ugly little mitts. AND I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU PAY FOR TAKING IT FROM ME!"

Roz unleashed laser guns from her pak and shot them at the two taller Irken soldiers. The lasers ricochet off of walls, floors, and other aliens. The shots shattered machines and set the prizes aflame. One shot completely killed the owner. The employee still remained unfazed.

The blasts hit Red and Purple in places where it hurt immensely, with Purple having his right eye hit by a bouncing beam of light, and Red having his chest hit. The plush fell to the floor in a montague of bouncing squeaks. A couple snacks went flying too. 

Roz used her pak grabbers to swipe the big animal and some of the fallen snacks.

"That's for stealing MY prize!" Roz speed out of the claw arcade at the speed of sound, Dum rocketing closely behind her. Both passing by all of the shattered machines and aliens crouching at their obliterated and burned knees.

Once in the ship, the two speed off to Earth to compete the mission. The computer, making a that was quick comment.

"Prize stealing Jerks" said Roz.

Dum cuddled with the donkey which took up the whole ship.

👽👽👽

The ship pierced through the grey Smokey clouds of earth and landed in the open area of the base roof. Once the ship landed, the hole shut, leaving Roz and Dum to their duties.

Dum dragged the Meemoop donkey out of the ship and lifted it above their head like a professional wrestler. As they approached the lower levels of the base in an elevator, Roz reminded Dum of the mission.

"Now remember Dum. You must use your space time defying lazer to obliterate our interfering neighbor. Do you understand."

Dum saluted while still caruing the donkey "YES SIR!" They then resumed a normal chearfull mode.

The elevator dinged, signifying their arrival. "Very good Dum. Now take aim-WHAT?"

Roz ran to the pile of untangled, dangling, empty chords that hung from the ceiling.

"C-C-COMPUTER! WHAT IS THE MEINING OF THIS?"

The computer responded in a steriotipical emo teenage voice. "She left."

"BUT HOW? THE SECURITY IS SUPPOSED TO BE FULLPROOF!"

"She just pushed her way our."

"HOW!"

"She's a really strong ten year old."

"GRRRR!" Roz stomped her way over to the big plush, which was now situated on the floor as Dum's cussion.  
The young Irken planted their whole body into the enormous toy and made a muffled scream. 

Dum just giggled.


	8. Spooky Haunted House of Doom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary and Roz explore an abandoned haunted house. To their surprise though, it's not as empty as it seems. And to Roz, it's a little to familiar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: organs

"Baricade the doors Dum! Don't let them in!"

Roz cowered behind the base's TV. Wielding a titanium lazer racket, the young irken was prepared to take down an army of zeet devouring apes.

"Are they still there?" She shouted and shaked.

"Noooo? Wait! Why they going away? COME BACK!" Dum cried out the window in their poorly sown pig onesie disguise.

"Oh thank the almighty tallest." Roz stepped out feom behind the TV and peered to the street from the window view. It was littered with crusty bat decorations and gutted pumpkins. Candy wrappers littereed the sewer waters on the cold, musty, streets.

"Now that the beasts are gone I can get back to my-"

A pounding knock shook the base. An obnoxious tone hollered from the outside.

"Trick or treat!" 

Roz stopped, grabbed her disguise parts, dropped the racket and armed herself with a one-hit ray gun, and lifted the base door. 

The there was no one outside. No one with a bag to take possession of values. No one in frighning clown makeup. No scientists coming to collect. Just the wind, and the crunch of crusty leaves.

Roz side-stepped onto the "WECOME" mat, gun in quivering hands. She shook at every millisecond, yet still staying focussed enough to keep one large eye kept pinned at the door.

The green alien heard a rustling noise behind her, reacting a turn around. 

Nothing.

She turned back to a short kid in a blush pink sheet, holding a jackolantern bucket of little to no candy. No one moved; expressions still.

"Boo!"

"GUAAAAH!"

The Irken fell backwards onto the misspelled mat.

The sheet snorted at Roz's fright. The obnoxious nose laughter, combined with her still present fear, forced Roz to fire the one-hit gun in the sheet's general direction. The ghostly looking child ducked, sheet trailing after in the air. 

The lazer hit a lamp post far away, causing it to break and fall on a unicorn costumed child. Their Everest amount of candy spilled to the streets in a rainbow flurry. Children flew like vultures to the spilled goods.

Roz and the ghost jumped up and turned twoards the mess, and then to eachother. Roz ran back into the base in a flurry, the door slamming down behind her.

Away from the chaos, she slid down the doors back and sat on the floor, whipping her green, non existent, brow. 

"Scared of ghosts, space freak?"

"AAH!"

The blanketed figure stood not quite tall behind her.

"How did you get in here!"

"I'm fast and I know how your security system works."

"You what?" The little alien was shaking. "Tell me, Roz, who you are right now!" 

"Ohohohohoho..." The figure loomed over the Irken as Roz crawled her way to the wall with her pak legs. Roz stood to face the approaching pink ghoul who continued to "ohoho" menacingly.

Face to face, the ghost was even shorter. Whoever it was, they were clearly shorter than Roz. And yet they still felt like a dark, freaky, looming threat.

Glowing neon green-blue eyes stared into Roz's soul. The voice, evil and giddy.

"I'm your worst nightmare." The figure shouted "Boo" and pulled back their hood. Roz screamed incredibly high, but then she realized it was just Mary. 

The little neighbor snorted in success.

"I scared you. Now I know your weakness. Haha."

"Grrr. You should put that thing back over your face. You look less ugly that way." The mean green part machine stompped over to her chair. Dum sat next to their master.

"Aww. What's the matter alien? Don't like Halloween?"

Roz just glared at Mary with an unchanging, annoyed, expression. "No" she said.

"Really? I thought someone as horrifying as you would like the holiday. Hehe."

Roz, still unchanged in expression, ignored Mary's rude and sarcastic comment. "Why are you still here?"

"I just wanted to scare you." Mary popped up behind Roz, surprising her. "Did it work?" Mary giggled maniachly and knew damn well it worked.

"Will you quit that and get out of my base?" The alien stood on her couch and hollered at the Mary with the force of an angry squeesquish. "And take your stupid sheet thing with you!"

"Sheet? Oh no no no no no, you absolute troglobite. This is my Halloween costume." 

Mary flipped her ghastly sheet around to reveal itself as a cape. Her atire appeared as a fancy blush dress shirt, not unlike that of which a pirate, or vampire would wear. Her pants looked like they were from the 60s, with a design of a trailing neon ectoplasm on the sides. Her shoes were dressy, the type of shoes someone would wear with a suit to a party full of people talking about their incredible lives filled with money they say they "earned them self" when they were really just privileged snobs. Mary's bandanna sported two large fangs with ectoplasm dripping from their tips. And her face makeup painted tear trails along her face.

"I'm a vampire ghost" she stated. The little girl looked proud of her apparel. She even srtuck a pose and flipped her ponytailed hair. 

"You're annoying."

Mary scoffed and gave the Irken a face that said: who put you on the planet? 

"And what are YOU supposed to be?" Mary hollered in response. "Is your solar store wig and big contacts your costume?"

Roz became furious. "I am not participating in the stupid disguise party."

"You do it every other day in the year."

"SHUT UP! ehem..." Roz collected herself after her scream. "Besides, why would I partake in some stupid human holiday anyway?" She turned away and walked twoards the oven, where an elevator to the underground weapon section of her base was.

"Because it's fun. Also you get free candy- HEY GIVE THAT BACK!"

Mary saw that Dum was devowering all of the sugary sweats she had in her pumpkin bucket.

Dum spoke like a demented baby and began hugging the candy, assuring that Mary was probably never going to get it back.

"O..Ok then...anyway..." Mary fixed her cape and turned back to Roz, who had returned from the weapon storage of her base. "I'm going to the abandoned house in the city's center culdisac. There's gonna be ghosts there I can feel it." Mary got really giddy at that last part. She grew a stupid grin and started bouncing up and down at the though of finding paranormal sights in an asbestos ridden house.

Roz walked past Mary to the window with a harpoon plasma lazer."Yeah yeah. Go hunt for your bighands or whatever."

Mary looked at the irritated alien and thought: if she's scared now...if I bring her to the house and get her to go without her disguise,she'll not only be vulnerable but she'll also be horifyed. It would be a perfect proof oportunity! I could get her and the ghosts on camera! That could be fun...  
The little Membrane's devilish grin grew even wider.

"You know...I heard that house has advanced technology hiding within it's secret room."

Roz turned with curiosity. "Advanced? How advanced?"

"Oh you wouldn't want to know. You're not interested anyway-"

Roz pusher her finger on Mary's squeaky button nose, pushing Mary's face in.

"Tell me how advanced these weapons are NOW, you moldy zeezil sandwich!"

Mary obtained a sence of sarcastic wonder in her tone. "Oh I don't know. It's a long legend. I guess I'll just have to go figure it out myself. I'll tell you when I get back."

Roz's thoughts raced. Meetz! This advanced technology sounds promising. But if I leave, what of my base? Will it fall to the hands of those ugly pig weasels? Why would I even trust this balloon head? I hate her. But if she's gets a hold of that technology... 

Roz's thoughts drifted to her in a test tube, hooked up to wires and floating in fluids. A scientist in her thoughts walked next to Mary and her family.

"To here we award this gratitude statue to you small human child."

The Mary inside Roz's head responding: "Oh thank you. But I couldn't have done it without the advanced technology I found in the secret rooms of the dusty abandoned house."

The thought drifted away. "WAIT!" Roz stammered. "I'm going to unhappily accompany you to this germ trap you might be headed towards."

"Really?" The large, giddy, bright eyed face that came in Mary's response was followed by a snarky voice. "Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure! now show me where this weapon place is!"

"Yay! Oh and one more thing."

"HEY!"

Mary swiped Roz's wig right off of her head and twirled it around like a frisbe. Roz's curled antennae perking up after the wig like little nubs trying to grab it back. Not unlike how she tried to reach for her wig with her actual hands. 

"You won't be needing this," Mary said smugly and tossing the wig on the floor, "everyone is wearing costumes, so they won't notice that your head actually looks like a praying mantis. Theyll think its just fake. You can take these out too."

Mary reached for Roz's eyes but was halted by pak legs that twisted and almost cracked the metal in her arms, causing immense pain. Roz gave a murderous stare and spoke like a demon.

"Don't..."

Roz let go of Mary's arms and removed her own contacts. Slowly, sticky, and doubtfully, sending Mary into a gag. 

Mary jerked back in fright and disgust. "Ok then" she said. 

Roz put her contacts into a case and into her pak. She picked up the wig and did just the same.

"Let's go." The Irken commanded as she strolled to the door, Mary following close behind. The door flung open.

"You better not be lying to me."

"Oh don't worry...I would never make that stuff up just to scare you and expose you. By the way did you know the people who lived in that house harvested organs?"

The door slammed shut and the only one left in the base was Dum, who continued to eat Mary's small collection of candy.

👽👽👽

"And as I was saying about the family, apparently they ate the heads of children and they hung the rest of their bodies like butchered cows."

"I don't care."

"They also-"

The two little girls continued to walk along the open streets. One disguised, one exposed. Roz begged that some transmission would hear her from space and kill either her or Mary to get away from Mary's constant talking about the house's misfortunes.

The road leading uinto the culdisac was littered in decorations and candy wrappers. There were giant spiderwebs too, but they weren't decorations. The street sewage combined with the unwashed children created a tainted smell more foul then the Bloaty's Pizza Hog indoor playplace. 

The poorly put together and store bought costumes both disgusted and terrified Roz. Someone wearing a antennae headband and green sunglasses complemented Roz on her "costume."   
She didn't know how to feel about this.

A circular ring of houses marked the end of the path. All other houses were fully decorated with pumpkins, brews with actual questionably smelly liquids inside them, and ghost sheets on sticks. There was only one house that had none of these. A small, odd looking, cobwebbed coded, dusty, house straight ahead in the path. A house coded in purple chipped paint. A house with a green roof and purple glass windows. A house with what looked like tubes sticking out from the sides like tentacles, still barely sticking to the neighboring houses. The tubes were covered in toilet paper and leaves, making them almost unnoticible.

"Oh! That's it!" Mary pointed to the faded house. She raised an eyebrow at the scenery. "y'know it kind of reminds me of your alien base."

Roz was noticibly uncomfortable. The sight begore her looked disgusting and reaked of rodent urine."You mean...there?"

Mary took awareness of Roz's gagging expression. She put a fake and sarcastic tone on. "You're not scared are you?"

"I am not scared of some germy human dwelling."

"But you're scared of the costumes?"

"I'M NOT SCARED OF THE HUMAN DISGUISES!"

Roz turned around and screatched at the sight and sound of two childish screams behind her. Both dressed as penguins. 

"mhm. Sure. Anyways let's go." Mary took tight hold and dragged Roz's left arm to the front steps. Roz scratching and resisting the entire way there.

The fence enclosed them in on a dusty, moss stoneway. Lawn knomes, although broken, seemed to follow the two girls with their unblinking gaze. The front door above the steps, a dark, sinister hue, with a men's restroom sign on it. An odd thing to have on a normal haunted house. Still unsettling none the less.

After a scrape-filled mess generated on her hand, Mary finally let go of Roz and gestured twoards the door.

"After you" Mary spoke smugly. 

Roz, with alien sweat dripping down her green face, took hold of the knob. But she didn't even need to move the door as it swung right open with a smash against the inner wall.

They both walked into the cold dark interior. It smelled of rotten, expired glue and moldy cupcakes. The door slammed shut behind them. They turned around to inspect the door, which seemed to have no problems, then turned back around to the living room.

A neon the blinded Roz's vision from beside her. It was Mary's eyes once again. They were so obnoxiously bright the illuminated the entire room.

"Man it sure is dark in here huh?" Mary looked as if she didn't even know the entire room was now lit a tealish color because of her eyes. She pulled out a flashlight and lit the room even more.

"Can all humans do that?"

"Do what."

"The glowy thing with your eyes."

"What glowy thing?"

"The glowy thing with your eyes? Is that natural?"

"Oh my granddad gave me these eyes. Said it would help me see in the dark when I'm doing experiments that need darkness."

"Oh." Roz turned around feeling very uneasy and slightly suspicious.

Looking around, Mary and Roz could see just about everything there was to see. A torn appart couch sat in the center of the chipped floor, surrounded by empty chip bags and rat droppings. An almost shattered TV on front of it. There were small shelves in the dark corners containing micalanious and useless items, such as a rubber piggy or a moldy weiner with googly eyes. A torn picture of a green monkey hovered over the living room, with would piercing, watchful eyes. And above all, literally above all of the furniture, were chords. Chords that looked like grey twirled up pasta noodles, with functions of who knows what.

"Well that looks cool" Mary said, still looking around her.

"It looks like garbage."

"It smells like ghosts."

"It smells like garbage too."

"And you sound like a big fat jerk face that doesn't like fun and needs to be put in a test tube for research."

"Tienes in sonido estúpida."

"I don't like that your translator knows Spanish?"

"Where are the weapons?" 

Mary became confused "what wepon- OH!" She perked right up when she realized what plan she needed to cary out. 

"Yeah I don't know." The little Membrane tapped her head temple and thought for a minute. 

"Oh I know," she exclaimed in a phony manner, "How about we split up and search for them."

"That gives me more time away from you!" Roz seemed genuinely happy at this. She even started jumping a little.

"Don't get to excited though. There is ghosts here after all." Mary turned and whispered quietly under her breath with a sickening grin and rubbing hands. "And if I'm lucky I can catch them and you on tape. Hehehe."

Mary spun around, fake coughing. "As I was saying. "Why dont you look that way," she pointed to a dark part of the house with no visible lights with slightly larger than average spiders crawling on the walls," and I can look in here. Roz?"

Roz had zoomed twoards the dark corners of the house with her Irken pak flashlight and giddy determination.

"You can't hide from irk's greatest invader forever! Soon I will have you and soon I will use you and soon I will take over the Earth with you!"

As Roz journied into the unknown, Mary stood still watching her run into the unreal. The tiny child kneeled down and pulled out a set of gloves from her pockets.

"Oh you'll have something, you ugly creature. It just won't be advance weapons."

Mary chuckled as she activated the gloves. Both illuminated "U" symbols with electric bolts as design.

"I'm gonna get something too ya know." Mary chuckled some more "Im gonna get everything I've ever wanted. And that's your ugly face, and a ghosts, captured by me. Hehehe. Hahaha! AHHAHAHAAA! Erhm! Mm. Bleh."

And so Roz went, going swiftly into the darkest corners. Not caring about what would befall her and only caring about what lie ahead.

"Come on you stupid house, show me your secret stash!" Roz, in her ignorant excitement, tripped over a large, empty bottle of black cherry Poop cola. The sticky remains of the road became cold and hardened on the floor.

She quickly unstuck her head from the disgusting uncleaned floor and directed her pak light in front of her. A single box was all she could see.

"It must be in here!" Roz shuffled like an extactic lizard over to the cardboards containments. 

It was magazines. Tons and tons of magazines. The amount of which seemed endless. Each issue was at least twenty years old as stated by the dates and dust on the covers. There were two figures and a Membrane Labs logo present on each one of the magazines. To Roz, they looked like Mary and her Dad, even though there was clearly something different. 

"Shmargkesark!" Roz kicked over the box. It's contents slammed against the wall and floors at high velocity like a feral bull slamming itself against a wall.

"Curse this stinky human living place. I can't find a single lazer," she kicked a shelf. A photo of a boy and his odd looking green dog fell from the shelf to the floor, shattering. "Or a pointy slicer stick," she clawed at a green monkey painting, putting tares straight through it. "Or a bag of burning mininombs!" Roz finally took her remaining anger out on the magazines and tore them to prices, falling on the ground into a tantrum, stomping her fists and feet into the ground. She started crying.

"Why cant something just work with me for once-"

A faint giggle and a few snorts could be heard far away. It echoed through the dark chambers like an empty theater. 

Roz picked herself up and quickly whipped her tears. 

"Mary you ugly pig!" Roz threw a chipped piece of glass from the broken photo into the empty hallway. The only reacting sound was glass hitting the floor.

Another trail of giggles floated above Roz's head.

"Oh you think it's really funny don't you?" Roz screamed around herself in a circle."its real funny to play games and trick me into doing this stupid hunt! Well gues what it isnt funny anymore!"

A neon light hit the back of Roz's head, casting a shadow onto the messy floor. 

Rod turned around and with a fit of fury, stabbed the two piercing eyes at the ceiling with her pak legs. The lights speed around it like a spider on caffeine.

It crawled around to the opposite end of where it hung before. And pierced onto Roz like a helicopter. Much to the aliens fright.

Roz stumbled to scream. She knew it was Mary. She thought it was at least. Can humans move that fast? Can they crawl on the ceilings? Can they make stage lights from their sockets? Mary's eyes can't glow that bright, at least Roz didn't think they could. Can they start to make sickening grin from ear to ear and laugh maniachly and oh sweet stars there are wires falling from the ceiling and the floor is shaking.

Parts of the floor cracked under Roz's boots and levitated themselves into the air. The metalshined and twinkled like night time stars. 

Roz thought that now as the time to leave for she had seen everything she wanted to. She didn't care about the weapons anymore. But by the time she made her move her pak pulled her body upwards. She slammed against the metal chords connected to the ceiling. They wrapped around her and dangled like tight spaghetti. 

The metal floorboard parcels created a tornado. Roz was more enclosed now then ever. And not only that but she was frightened. She even started crying. 

The creepy crawling figure kept laughing. It slowly made it's way twoards the Irken as the metal kept spinning around quicker. Once face to face, Roz could smell chocolate and steel. The figure laughed maniacally as Roz trembled in the fear she tried to hide. A small metal box was pulled to her face. 

FLASH.

All of the metal dropped to the ground. Roz, still tied in chords and wires, dropped to the ground as well. The only thing that didn't slam down was the figure, who gently propelled herself to Roz's level.

The girl let out a few snorts. "I was right. That was fun. Haha."

"Mary..."

"It was pretty funny watching you struggle like that. " Mary juggled the camera in her hands. "Although it was really uncomfortable watching you cry." 

"But...HOW?"

"Oh. How did I manage to get evidence of you being from outer space? Easy. I used these magnet gloves to control the metal in this house. Although I didn't think the whole house was made of metal. Didn't think the ceiling would have a ton of wires on it either. Mabye the plaster caved in. But what do I know."

Roz screamed and squirmed in her chords prison. "You dirty stinky rotten smelly stupid-"

In the slew of childish insults, Mary could only laugh.

"Sadly I wasn't able to get any ghosts on tape, but I did get something better."

Mary grabbed the chords that held Roz in, and dragged the fighting alien to the door.

"Come on freak! Let's get you to the lab."

"YOU ZOOSVEEG!"

"Woah! I know I'm dragging you to a test tube and ultimately to your demise, but that was just rude."

"SHUT UP YOU WORM PIG!"

"That's better. Wait..." Mary turned up to the wirey maze. "Do you hear that?"

"I hear you being annoying!"

"No...the house is falling!"

The ground shook abruptly. The wires on the ceiling started to limp down. The floors cracked and crumbled.

"Time to go!"

Rod flew above the ground as her body was dragged to the exit. Mary made the quickest beeline the universe ever saw, jumping over fallen furniture and collapsed chords.

A ginormous grey tube separated Mary's grip on Roz. The alien flew backwards onto the cracked tiles. Mary flew in the opposite direction and rolled like a stiff ragdoll on the floor. 

The two girls looked at eachother before the floor's inevitable caveing.

Roz struggled to get loose of the ties. She tried slicing what she could with her pak. "come on. Come on!"

Mary looked up and turned to face her enemy, reaching out a hand and shouting "NO!" as the floor broke to the depths below.

"BAAAAAAAAHHH!"  
"GAAAAAAAAHHH!"

from opposite ends into the same dark depths the girls fell to their doom. Screaming through the darkness into small tube passageways deep below the ground. They fell like children in enclosed slides, but they experienced everything not related to the joy you would get from that experience. 

Mary fell into a tunnel with corners and edges. Every time she hit an edge, the impact made a bang and she fell to the next one with more and more dents in skull.

Roz had a much more simple experience. She fell down a long narrow shaft. It was filled with broken, glitching lights and rusty metal. A small opening in the ground opened up for Roz to fall through. The tube closed on the wires binding her together, leaving her dangling an inch off of the ground. The wires snapped all at once from the pressure, letting Roz fall with an "omph" onto the cold and dirty floor.

Mary fell in a different way. When she fell onto the floor, she fell big-head first and cracked something in the landing. The horendous pain caused Mary to screech in ear piercing pain. 

Roz arose in off of the floor and peered at her surroundings. It was to dark to see anything, so she took out her pak light. 

Mary pulled herself up off of the floor, while still maintaining a horrible migrane. While already being able to see in the dark, she still pulled out her less advance flashlight.

Roz slowly walked forwards, stepping on broken floor prices and fallen chords. And whatever slippery substance caused her to crash face first into a gargantuan freezer and stick to it.

The massive freezer looked more like a bird cage than anything else. Ice took the place of steel bars usually on cages. A pink rim connected by wires to a pink lid kept the ice in stable, and from melting. A large barel-like container ozzed at one time, but whatever it ozed now froze itself over. The labeleing on the barel read "Cryo-gel! Warning: left unchecked, it may freeze." The lettering wasnt human though. On the ice itself, a large, pink, triangular, print stood out.

She pulled her face off of the ice and loomed to see three tiny pairs of eyes and three tiny pairs of hands, sticking to the ice. 

The Irken menace fell backwards in shock. What is this cage? Whats in it?  
Why is it here?

Roz looked closer at the frozen inhabitants of the cage. They were, small, magenta, and had solid horns.

"Are these...vortians? What?" Roz looked at the Pink symbol donned on the cold container.

"The...the Empire?"

Mary walked a pace akin to that of a slug: slow, steady, small, and scared. The flashlight that she didn't need flickered.

"Shoot! Stupid batteries."

Mary hit the flashlight a couple of times with the palm of her hand. All while walking straight into a container that was greater in size, yet exactly identical than the freezer Roz had seen. Except it didn't have ice in it.

Mary looked up in horror. Nothing could have prepared her for the disgusting sight she witnessed.

It was goopy.

"N-No."

Gooey.

"What is this?"

Slimmy.

"I was lying when I was talking about the-"

Tons if not thousands of organs from human bodies. All swimming in what looked like if water could grow mold. Six hearts still beating with a steady pump pump pump. Six pairs of small intestines twirling eachother like DNA strands. Twelve pairs of large intestines circling around the entire, disgusting container. Sixty eight different spleenes in three colors: blood red, veigny purple, and gum pink. Three pancreassesstill digesting the food from the three stomachs with an old cafeteria lunch that looks just the same as the day it was made. Some stray bones here and there. A pair of green eyeballs floated with detached trails of red and blue veigns. And one pair of lungs. There was one organ she couldn't identify, and it looked like a little purple cloud.

Mary gagged and almost threw up on the floor.

What the heck? What the heck? This is sick! These thoughts swirled in Mary's mind like the spaghetti swirls of intestines in the container. She stood up and backed away quickly. Then she ran for it.

"This is the most disgisting thing I've ever seen. This is just sick. How could anyone do this. How could a human OW-"

Mary was running so fast she flew face first into a large, round, metal egg container.

Small round light iluminaters stuck to the top and sides of the egg. Under a large central window was a plaque with faded writing. The only visible writing was surprisingly in English for some reason. It read "b's master." 

Mary puzzled. "Master? Who's master?" She peered into the central window. Each inch she got closer, the more she was able to see. Her face pressed square against the glass, squishing itself to get a better look. 

A face. She saw a large round face. A large round face with stitches and massive eyes and buck teeth laying far apart from eachother. 

"What are you?"

The creature opened its large round eyes. The puples looked in two opposite directions.

"Oh FUGE!"

Mary slipped backwards and watched a large hand punch it's way through the window. Glass, mingling everywhere as a a smaller hand pulled the blobby creature upwards. It lunged upwards and to the slammed to the ground in front of Mary, causing her to do three rolls backwards. The creature was large. It had a white lab coat that covered a hunched back. It had a large pair of goggles atop its head like a headband. It had an L-shaped streak of hair on its head, not unlike that of Professor Membrane, Dib, or Mary. 

"W-What do you want from me?"

It took slow stomps twoards Mary.

"L-leave me alone!"

A few more stomps and some monstrous groans. Mary was so small compared to this Frankenstein's monster.

"I'm armed!" Mary pulled out a camera that flashed at the monster. It didn't jump, but it's face was noticeably orange.

The thing hunched down to Mary's tiny level. She hid her frightened face behind her arms and pulled her knees to her chest. It stared at her with big eyes. It smiled.

"HEWWO THEWRE SON!"

"I WUV YOU SOW MUCH SON!"

"AAAAASKHSDJHFDUKAJAJAHSJAHANAAAAAHHH!"

The "monster" picked up Mary and hugged her tightly to the point where her arms would have broke and her head would have popped off her body.

"HOW WAS YOUR DAY AT SCHOWL SON?"

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO!" Mary's face turned blue and her younger stuck out."HRG- you're choking me!"

"HEY..." The monster grew a confused look. They held Mary out in front of them. She fought and dangled from the monster's arms.

"YOU IS NOT MY SON..."

"I don't know you let me go!"

"HMMMMMMMMMM. YOU LOOK LIKE MY SON...BUT YOU IS NOT MY SON..."

The monster scratched his head. A lightbulb went off inside their head that was so bright it shone through the skin on their scalp.

"AH! YOU MUST BE MY GWAND BABY! YOU IS SO CUTE!" The monster booped Mary's squeaky nose a couple of times and smiled so brightly that they lit up a whole room. "COME GIVE YO GWAND DADDY A HUG!" 

"AAAAAAAAAHHAHAJSNHFNSKSBDB SJAAHAHAH!"

Mary freed herself from the deadly grip of the one who claimed her as their grandchild. She booked it 180 degrees in the other direction at light speed.

"You are NOT my Granddad! Leave me alone! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"W-W-W-" the monster sprouted big bubbly tears from their eyes "WHY WOULD YOU SAY SUCH A THING. THATS SO MEAN. WAAAAH!"

The monster ran after Mary. Flailing their arms around like a madman. The one noodly arm went absolute buck wild with every ground shaking step. 

Mary ran fast to a small shred of light, poking from the darkness. Every five seconds she was jumping over fallen pillars and shattered glass. Mary Grew more and more distant from the beast wailing behind her.

"This is not what I expected when I though 'haunted house.' This is more of a Frankenstein monster factory laboratory."

The light became closer. But so to did the enormous steps. This monster was extreamley fast; faster then an Olympic track racer.

"Almost! Hrrrg!" Mary reached out for the light, but tripped over her costume cape. The cape became stuck on a sharp pike, peaking from the floor.

The sound was getting louder and louder. Closer and closer. Faster and faster. She ripped her cape free, making a little tear in the fabric.

Mary jumped up as she heard the wails of a large overgrown squash. She caught the door just in time and slammed it shut. 

She was in a long white room now. It looked like a stereotypical alien spaceship room. Wall to wall were hilts, but nothing was placed in them. The room had multiple levels, each with elevators leading up to them. Each floor had narrow path strip leading from the elevators to the walls.

"Ha...ha..." Mary whipped her brow and slid down to the floor. "Fhwew. That was close."

"And I'm even closer."

"HUH?"

Mary spun around and threw her head straight up to see a horrifying sight clinging to the walls with spider legs.

Roz, gripping in to tons of different Irken brand weapons. Guns, lasers, arrows, smoke bombs,nets, paint bombs, poison bombs, cherry pie bombs, and rubber pigs.

"Thank you for telling about this place, meator-head. For now I have accumulated a she bunch of Irken invader weaponry."

"W-WHAT?"

"I win now. And it's all thanks to you."

"I...I WAS LYING!"

Roz looked puzzled. "What?" She cocked her head sideways and fixed her newly found stash in her arms, trying not to make it fall.

"None of this is supposed to actually be true! This was all a setup just to scare and trap you! I lied about the organs and the weapons and the experimentations! Why is this happening?"

"So you didn't know this was an Irken base with weaponry?" 

"IT'S A WHAT?"

Roz threw a rubber pig at Mary.

"OW!"

Roz kept throwing them. She giggled like the villain she was, covering Mary's entire self in a toumb of rubber toys.

"OW! OW! STOP!"

As soon as the was a giant pile that covered Mary's pelted corpse. Roz turned to make an exit. But the second she turned her green head in the other direction...

"Not that easy space bug!"

"AAAAHSKMSBS!"

Mary appeared from behind Roz and lunged at the hord in her arms. Roz spun sideways, letting Mary crash on the cold and dirty floor. Roz started to an upper level, droppi g a couple of lazer guns on the way up. Mary ran to the elevator at light speed and continued the chase. On the path to the next level, Roz shot five sound arrows. Mary dogged three of them, but got knocked far backwards by the other two. She also got hit with the amo-less arow shooter. It made a plink sound as it hit Mary's big head. The ringing sound from the arrows deafened the poor child, and distracted her from Roz's attempt to leave.

Roz made it to the third level, only twelve more to go. She dropped a large amount of weapons, due to the fact that she found them useless, obscure and empty. 

From the depths, Mary shot up and pinned Roz to the ground, causing her to drop everything. Yes this included all of the chemically induced pies. From then a fist fight ensued.

"Good thing you were casting metal, Jerk. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to catch you and beat the crap out of you. OW! DON'T HIT MY EYE!"

"You're the one who bought us here! Don't act like you didn't see this co-AAHG MY SQEEDLYSPOOCH!" Roz went for the neck and tried to strangle Mary. "DO YOU KNOW HOW SENSITUVE MY ORGANS ARE?"

"UGLY SPACE FREAK!"

"SQEAKY NOSED STINKY BRAIN!"

"ABOMBINATION!"

"SCIENTIFIC ACIDENT!"

"EXUSE ME! IM NOT THE ONE WHO LOOKS LIKE AN OVERGROWN MOLDY COCOROACH!"

Roz grabbed the camera in Mary's pocket and smashed it against her head. It stared into a million pieces.

Mary became enraged and gasped. "YOU JERK! THAT WAS MY DAD CAMMERA"! Mary lunged for Roz's head.

"OW! STOP PULLING ON MY ANTENNAE! IT'S SENSITIVE!"

"I CANT HELP THAT IT LOOKS LIKE A GIANT LAMP SWITCH! MABYE I'LL RIP IT OFF AND USE THE FUNDS I GET FROM THE SCIENTISTS I SHOW IT TO TO REPLACE MY DAD'S CAMMERA!"

Roz was in agonizing pain. She grabbed Mary with her pak legs and yeeted her twoards a big red button on the nearby wall. 

A large siren surrounded the room as Mary slid down to the floor. The room flashed red and white and an obnoxiously loud pair of robotic voices could be heard.

"SECURITY BREACH! SECURITY BREACH! LEAVE NOW IMEDIATLEY!"

Behind Roz slammed down a pair of horribly designed robotic drones, not to far off from Roz's fake parent. 

They had the most obnoxious voices, and their designs were just equally terrible eyesores. The one robot had withered blue overalls and a ripped tutu from years of undisturbance. The other one had a ripped tie and a broken pipe that dangled from his metal mouth. Both of them had rodent and spider nests for hair.

Evil red eyes and expressions stayed constant as their arms changed from "normal" to extremely sharp chainsaws.

"LEAVE NOW AND PERISH! CEASE AND DECIST! DIE! DIE! DIE!"

The girls booked it for the upper levels. Each attempting to dodge the murderous chainsaw wielding maniac security robots chasing them. Glass was shattered and Roz's pak was almost sliced clean of by the more efeminite robot. Mary almost had her entire head chopped off because of the other one. 

Using elevators and quick thinking, the two girls made it to the exit and out of the crazy room. They slammed the door shut behind them and barricaded it with the TV from the living room.

They were in the living room. Back where they started.

Roz strolled to leave and so to did Mary. They started a mini conversation. 

"So you know what all this stuff is?"

"Yes."

"And it's all alien?"

"Yes."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No."

"All this time I thought it was just a creepy haunted house. I should have known."

"It has gigantic power sergers protruding from its walls."

"Well duh I know that now. Hey are you gonna come back here to take stuff. Cause if you are, im peobably going to get here before you and set up traps. Just a heads up."

"Stupid human head! Of course I'm not coming back here. Everything is gone, useless, or broken. And I don't like how germy it is."

"What about the security bots?"

"No."

The second the two reached the door they were re-greated by the two robots. 

The broken pipe robot remmed the chainsaw. He chanted:

"PREPARE TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS!" 

The other efeminate robot did the same. 

"PERISH AND FALL UNDER THE WRATH OF INVADER Z-"

The robot was blown against the wall and smashed into little parts. The remains created little sparks that scared away the spiders crawling on the floor.

A large orange blob emerged from the sides.

"YOU!"

Mary knew. "Oh no."

"GET AWAY FROM MY GWAND BABY!"

"Vamanos cucaracha!"

"Guaaah!"

Mary clutched Roz's arm and dragged her out the door as the monster body slammed the other security robot. It shouted in the pain it couldn't feel as it was beaten limb from limb. 

"OW! OUCH! STOP! MY SQUEAZING ARM! MY SQEUAZING AAAARRRRMMM!"

Now outside of the house, the girls booked it for their own neighborhood. Mary wasted no time heading home. She zoomed past trick or treaters in the cold and dark night, acedentaly knocking one of them over with the wind speed that trailed behind her. 

Roz started to run, but stopped and stared at the wearing garden knomes that line the walkway to the empty alien base.

👽👽👽 

"My tallest! My tallest!"

The moniter in Roz's base switched to a view of the tallest Zim.

An annoyed tone came from the kther side. "What is it?"

"This!"

Roz held up one of the knomes from the old Irken lawn. Except it was cleaner, and the spider webs were missing from it.

"O...kay....?" Zim scratched his head.

"Why do you bother Zim with...with this thing...that looks oddly familiar."

"It's modified Irken security technology." Roz beamed with happiness in a toothy grin that stretched past both sides of her head.

Zim chimed in. "It looks stupid." 

"I believe it's supposed to look like that my tallest. It looks stupid to distract the filth bags from the horrors and pain it brings. Hehehe." 

Roz giggled, proud of herself. But Zim was so incredebly confused. 

"Oh but you have to see it to really know what it can do."

Roz backed away from the moniter and set the knome on the floor. 

"DUM!" Roz screamed.

Dum dropped themself from the ceiling face first onto the ground. They jumpped up and saluted."YES MASTER!"

"Throw the human sugar food!"

"YES SIR!"

Dum, without hesitation, opened their head and flooded a ton of stolen candy onto the lone knome. A screaming child in a frog costume was the last to bounce onto the knome before rays of light shown from beneath the pile.

A large explosion blew the entire pile onto the walls of the base, terrifyed child included. 

The knome rose from the blown up sugar dust. Now sporting a cybernetic, red eye, lazer guns for arms, and long legs that could kick someone to death.

It stomped around the base and shot exploding lasers as Roz laughed maniachly. 

"AHAHAHAHAHAH! My Tallest. With these weapons, the Earth is as good as yours- WAIT STOP NONONONONO!"

The knome started firing at different parts of the base. One shot hit the ceiling, another hit the still screaming child. One shot hit Dum, to which they replied:

"OWIE! THAT HURT!"

Roz tried to get close to the death system to turn it off. 

"I apologise for this my tallest! I will fix this mishap! But now that I know it works, I know that the Earth is as good as yours!" 

The tallest Zim responded in Roz's struggle. He vilanously tapped his claws and raised his brow.

"Hmm...this is very interesting young smeet. And this is Irken tech?"

Roz sweat trying to shut off the machine. "Oh yes my tallest! I -hold still you stupid lawn ornament- I found it in an old Irken base on the planet! The Irken left or died a while ago, but their tech still works."

"Hmmmm." The tallest thought for a minute. "I think I remember owning a security system like thAAAAAAAH!"

A lazer shot the moniter and broke the screen, causing the feed to cut.

"NO MY TALLEST!"

"MASTER IT'S LASERS ARE BURNING! WEEEEEEEE!"

"OH IRK IT'S FIRING AT ME NOW NOOOOO!"

👽👽👽

A knock on professor Membranes residence rattled the whole house.

He awnsered it in the usual fashion. 

"Hello there visitor. Can I help you with...uh...who..."

The Orange blob monster with the white lab coat, uneven sizes hands, and L-shaped hair stood at the door.

"HEYLOOW THEWRE! THIS IS MY HOUSE!"

"Right um...who are you again? Do you want to come in?"

"SURWE! HEY DO YOU HAVE PUDDIN?"


	9. Snarl for Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roz gets an SOS signal from another planet. But she finds something both strange and frightening on it. Something small and covered in blue fur.

"HALP! HALP! OVER HERE!"  
A lonely, frightened Irken shouted to the skies above.  
"IM DOWN HERE! HALP ME!"  
A great big ship defended from the stary orange skies above. Defending slowly on to the sickening purple surface of the dusty barren planet.  
"OVER HERE! HALP ME! PLEASE I-"  
The ship slammed on top of the Irken, crushing their spine instantly. Their mouth noises couldn't even peirce a crack in the bottom of the ship.  
Outside the ship stepped a familiar teal Itken.  
"You know computer, all of these other invaders talk about how they are so superior. But then they call on me to help save them from the life THEY are supposed to conquer. The empire is nothing without their prized invader."  
"Invader Snot didn't signal you for help. He called Gunk, you just stole me and now you get all of their transmissions." The computer sounded annoyed as per usual.  
"Ooooohhhh. This place is pretty."  
"Yes, Dum this place is nice. But it is also ruthless. For it is home to one of the most hideous beasts in the galaxy. Now where are my-"  
"Myark!"  
Roz and her little roboitic servant turned swiftly beside them to the noise. It was a rather small, rather cute, blue, kitty like specimen.  
"THAT'S IT!" Dum laughed and pointed at the small animal. They plopped down to its level and started playing with it. It's eight little paws moving along.  
"Dum! Stop playing with that thing."  
"But it's cuuuuuuute!"  
"I don't care what it is! It's not important-" she picked the space kitty up by it's tail. The kitty squirmed around in Roz's grip. "To the mission!"  
"No don't hurt it! You'll make the baby angry."  
Roz looked at Dum unemotionally.   
"Dum it's just another tiny animal. Like those squirms you eat in the filthy pet park on earth. What's it gonna do?"  
And like feral instinct, the small organism fed it's ginormous rays of teeth into Roz's arm, almost chopping the whole thing off.   
Roz shaked and shook and managed to fling the kitty across the dusty surface of the planet.   
From where it landed, it sat up and stayed stagnant.  
"C-COMPUTER!" Roz shouted at her ship in fear. Her arm almost fallen off and dripping a pink, blood-like substance. "W-WHAT IS THAT?"  
"THAT is a snarlbeast, the most dangerous predator in all of the known universe. It is responsible for the deaths of countless invaders. It can grow up to twenty feet in adulthood and can grow more than eight appendages. They also have six rows of sharp internal teeth. Their arms can also grow teeth."  
Roz stopped and shook. Her eyes grew wide and her antennae faced down.   
"S-six...Six rows of teeth?"   
The little blue animal the size of a teacup spontaneously grew to an enormous height. It's eyes bleached a clear moon-glow white as it growled with its 600 sharp mouth daggers, dripping with drool. It's Razer sharp teeth claws grew three times the size of its furry face and shined in the light of the planet's great white moon in the soda colored sky.   
Roz snatched Dum and beelined for the ship. Once in she shut the doors, facined both of their seatbelts, and started the engines.  
"So we're not gonna play with them master?" Dum questioned, to wich the Irken screamed so high she almost broke the ship glass.   
And with that the ship took off into the stars, leaving behind the still barley functioning corpse of invader Snot.   
The invader, still on the surface, became surrounded by furry little six-legged felines. Each in a different color. The Irken pleaded for mercy in a pained squeal.   
👽👽👽  
Back on Earth, in their sheltered base, Roz and her sidekick hastily struggled to stitch her arm together. It was more of Roz stitching her arm back amongst the oozing Pink blood goo, and more of Dum sitting on the floor, playing with their small video game consol.   
Once the dirty work was done, Roz sat beside Dum and started to relax. The little robot handed her a controller and they started to play a game.  
"Hey Dum."  
"Yeeeaaassss?"  
"What is this game?"  
"Ghost plumber buster 3!"  
"How do I suck the floaty guy into my pak?"  
"You hold L."  
"Oh. Thanks."  
"Yip!"  
Both gaming individuals turned around to find the deadly beat they encountered hours before, in their own home.   
Dum smiled and bleeped their tongue at the deadly space deamon, but Roz only saw a reason to fear. She whispered in a shaky tone.  
"Dum..."  
"YEEES MASTER!"  
"Please be quiet and get the long claw."  
"You mean THIS?" The one eyed SIR held up a controllable tech arm that looked like a grabber tool.   
"Yes that thank you now SHHH!"  
Roz took the arm from Dum and grabbed the space predator with it. The kitty dangled from the claw in amusement.   
"Myark myark!"  
"Dear sweet almighty control brains I'm going to die."  
Roz shanked like a shivering fish trapped in arctic water. Running through her mind were the thoughts: What am I going to do? How do I get this thing as far as possible without it killing me? Is it going to attack? Will I fail my mission? Help me tallest it's eyes are staring at me WHAT DOES IT WANT!"  
"Where's they going?"  
"Away from here that's all I know. A-as soon as I f-find somewhere to put it I'll set a one way course for it back to its home. Away from me and my mission. Even though my attempts to take over continuously get thwarted by-OH I HAVE AN IDEA!"  
Roz's loud shouting disturbed the clutched animal, causing the Irken to yelp and cower. She turned to her robot servant and spoke in the quietest voice she could muster.  
"Dum. Get the pretty color paper. And a little plastic tie. Fast."  
👽👽👽  
Ring ring went the doorbell on a familiar, two member, family residence. To which a familiar girl child responded.   
Mary, in the midst of tying her glittery fish patterned bandanna, opened the door expecting the mailman, only to be greeted by a large metal box that growled and jumped. It was decorated in a pretty pink wrapping and a big bright bow.  
Mary peered over at Roz, who was staring into a window from the safety inside her base.  
"WOW THABK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS AMAXING GIFT THAT IS MOST LIKELEY GPING TO KILL ME!"  
"Your welcome!" The loud screams were muffled behind the window glass.  
Mary looked back at the box and started shaking. She reached behind the door and grabbed an umbrella. With it she poked the box and then a button on said box, releasing the contents inside. Mary in her bravery stood with the umbrella like a sword, ready to strike.  
The tiny blue cat emerged from the box with a calmed expression. It purred and wagged it's tiny tail.   
"What?" Mary stood with confusion and puzzlement. How could such a thing that small make so much noise? And shake the whole box no less.   
A second later Dib, walked to the door-wearing his labcoat and smelling like an unwashed sewer- incredibly tired from another long week of nothing but science.  
"Mary close the door its cold out- AY DIOS MIO!"  
The alien animal took this fear as a sign of playing and imediatley leaped onto the disgusting 32 year old man in the doorway. Dib fell to the ground and flailed around like a fish five seconds out of water.  
"DAD!"  
"ZLOSHEBJANDLDBSNDBDBVZM ZVXNXB!"  
Mary rushed into the house and leapped over the couch into the hallway at the speed of light. She had to haly herself like a car once she reached the closset door-she was going to fast. She threw open the door and scowered quickly among boxes, jackets, and empty poop cola bottles. At last she found an ultra tranquilizet and roadran to the door again to defeat the frightening feline whom endangered her Dad.  
Only for Mary to find her Dad sitting up on the entryway floor with the furry animal resting itself on his ginormous head.  
"DAD DON'T MOVE!"  
"NO NO NO! Mary put that down!"  
"It's gonna kill you and spit out tour bones!"  
"If you use that it might try and hurt you!"  
"It's on your head if it moves it'll strike!"  
"Put down the syringe, Mary!"  
"HOLD STILL!"  
The blue ball of fur yawned and curled up into a tiny ball. It fell asleep right then and there on top of Dib's head.   
"Did it just..." Mary slowly lowered the syringe. "Did it just fall asleep?"  
"I...I think it did."  
Mary started to slowly creep twoards the creture. She stopped right in front of it and looked at its tiny sleeping body. It curled over onto it's back and purred in it's sleep. It's eight tiny little paws wiggled like butterfly legs.  
Mary was moved to tears and failed to hide it. It was to adorable of a sight.  
Dub picked the cat off of his head and held it in his arms. Mary whispered in a hard tone.   
"Dad!"  
"Weird. It's got eight legs."  
"It's one of Roz's evil alien pets. She sent it over here to destroy us!"  
"I've never seen a cat like this before. It's probably best to take them to the lab and study them a bit. Just to know their dietary habits, and if they really are as dangerous as you say they are."  
"...It moved the whole metal box."  
"Still is best to research em." Dib stood up with the small animal in his arms.   
Mary became aware of what this could mean for her. She gasped in exclamation.  
"Wait! Thats right! Research this evil alien animal and when it's origins expose Roz for the alien menace she is you drag her from her base and rip her guts out and-"  
"Mary!"  
"What?"  
"What did I say about-"  
"But DAD! It's her cat!" Mary threw her hands in wild gestures. "She sent it in the box and it was hissing and growling and...and..."  
She threw her arms down in a sigh. "You don't care do you."  
"Mary, of course I care. And just like you I would like to know if this thing is actually dangerous. But if we find out it is I'm not going to drag our neighbor to the lab and cut her open. That'll cause a lot of problems that quite frankly, I don't want to get involved in."  
Mary pouted. "You'll see one day I'm right. You'll see that there really is an alien next door. And I'm gonna prove it to you and when I do you'll be so proud of me."   
"Yo estoy orgulloso de ti, Mary. Now get your coat it's cold."  
👽👽👽  
"Well son it doesnt show any signs of being a vicious animal."   
"WHAT? HOW CAN THAT BE?" Mary was shocked at her grandfathers testament.  
Within the main Membrane laboratory stood Professor Membrane, Dib, Mary, and the tiny blue space cat. Except the cat was placed in a glass box with holes and was given one chew toy.  
Mary ran up to the glass. "Grandad that can't be right. This thing is vicious! I've seen it with my own eyes."  
"Mary we ran the tests. It's like he said, they're not that vicious. They don't even eat meat."  
"But...wait but...it's a cat...they eat meat...what..."  
"Oh ho ho. A cat not eating meat must confuse you doesn't it grandchild. Well this one is a bit different, it seems." The professor pulled up a holographic screen of test results, math, and a diagram of the beings innards. "It seems that it is some sort of mutant-"  
"Alien!"  
"Rrright...anyway...It appears that this mutant feline is evolved to look like a carnivore, but it actually lives off of a diet consisting of rocks."  
"R...rocks? Your kidding?"  
"Ho ho. No I am not grandchild. No I am not." Membrane flipped to another holographic slide. "In fact, it only appears to use its sharp fangs against flesh when it feels endangered. Or when it wants to play."  
"Then why was it going nuts in the box it came in?"  
Dib spoke in a tone most regretful and traumatized. "they don't like metal."  
Mary looked at him confused. "What do you mean, Dad?"  
Dib held out two small rings made of metal. They were bent, bitten, and cracked. They also had a hint of blood on them.  
"They don't like metal...The only metal they like is membranium. And they REALLY like membranium. They'll curl up next to it and just sit there. But gold and steel? Nope."  
"Aren't those your eyebrow peircings."  
"They were."  
"Oh." Mary pondered for a bit. "But surely were not keeping it. What about your allergies."  
"I don't think I'm allergic to this one actually. Usually when I touch cat I swell up but not with this one."  
"Mabye it's not a cat then and instead it's some dangerous space killer!"  
"It eats rocks Mary. Not people. Your Grandad and I did the tests and it's NOT harmful. I'll admit I was surprised at first to but bow we know what they are and what to feed them. Besides, you always complain that every other kid in your school has a pet and how you want one too."   
"Not one that could kill us though." She was visibly angry, but also clearly worried.  
Dib knelt down to Mary's level and put his hands on her shoulders. "It's not gonna hurt you. Do you think I would let it near you if it was?"  
Mary shook her head reluctantly. "No" She mumbled. Besides being worried all she could think was Geez Dad, start carrying mints.  
Dib smiled. "Good."  
"Here you go son." Membrane thrusted the kitty in between the two. It's little head bobbed back and forth. He gave Dib the cat who then gave it to Mary.   
"Go home and feed em alright. And then later we can pick out a name."   
Reluctant as she was, Mary agreed. "Okay." She walked out of the lab with the purring animal in her arms.  
Dib looked at the closed door which Mary left through. Membrane sighed as he looked at his worried son.  
"Has she found an interest in any of the sciences lately?"  
"I try, but I don't force her. I just...want her to be ok is all."  
"She'll be fine son. Look how you turned out. You used to be obsessed with aliens and ghosts and other imaginary beings. And now look at you. Such a fine man who loves real science."  
"Haha...yeah..."  
"Everything will be alright son." Membrane hugged Dib in a fatherly grip to which Dib responded the same.  
"Thanks dad." He couldn't look more tired. "By the way who is that?"  
Dib pointed to the corner of the lab where the large orange monster sat with a bowl of pudding.   
"HEWWO SON!"  
"I'm honestly not sure. It came to my house on Halloween and hasn't left. They keep saying that they're me. They just live with me now. I asked your sister and she just calls them clembrane."  
"Clembrane?"  
"She says it means 'clone membrane.'"  
"DO YOU GUYS WANT SOME PUDDING?"  
"Uhhhhh..."  
"Uhhhhh..."  
👽👽👽  
Out of the lab and back to her house was Mary with her new pet sitting on her head. They were sitting in her arms but they kept moving around and finally found a comfortable place to sit.   
"If you heat my head I won't care what Dad thinks, I will throw you in the furnace in the big underground lab."  
"The cat just purred and continued to roll over."  
"Hmph."  
"Oh squeaky face!"  
A familiar voice yelled from behind a bush.  
"Oh no..." Mary crossed her eyes as Roz jumped out with Dum in full disguise and full body armor.   
"Are you enjoying the little gift I sent you?"  
"Listen here you ugly goblin from beyond the galaxy! I'm not gonna fall for whatever your planning with this...this... muderous space cat thing!"  
"I think they already marked their territory. Don't be surprised if that little menace snatches that scythe on your head and-" Roz tried to make a demonstration and reached for Mary's hair but pulled it right back when the snarlbeast hissed.  
Mary giggled. "I don't think they like you."  
"SHUT UP!" Roz jumped back. "DUM! SHOOT THE MEAT!"  
"GOT IT. YEHEHEHEHE!"  
The broken unit opened its head and fired a large slap of meat onto Mary, forcing her to fall backwards onto the concrete.  
"Ow!"  
"Ahahaahahaha! Enjoy your meal snarlbeast."  
"Snarlbeast? That's what they're called?" Mary shook in her tone.  
"Oh and Mary...enjoy being EATEN ALIVE! AHAHAHHAHAHAH!"  
Mary looked at the beast on top of her as she lay on the ground, staring at her. It started hissing at the meat slab. Mary gulped, shut her eyes, and prepared for the worst.  
"That's right! How does it feel to be pet chow Mar-AAAHH!"  
The snarlbeast leaped from the meat and pounded itself onto Roz and assumed it's monstrous form. Ripping, scratching, chomping, and tearing at the armor every second they could. Dum just sat there and did nothing but stare. Mary did the same, but with astonishment and fear.  
Roz screamed. "AHHH! GETY OFF ME! DUM, HELP ME!"  
The study steal armor Roz wore was being torn off bit by bit until it was broken and spat aside. The Irken was tossed onto the ground and backed into a street light. She noticed one of her contacts was hanging and tried to cover it. Roz quieted and started crawling backwards.  
"S-stay away from me foul beast! G-GET AWAY!"  
A slop of drool splattered onto Roz's face from the towering deamon above. It burned like the fires on the biggest ball of shmoop. She used her pak legs and raced all the way back to her base. Dum followed closely behind.  
The snarlbeast called and resumed it's cat like form. They turned around and ran back towards Mary, whom was speechless. But in an instance like this where a terrifying alien scared away another terrifying alien, there was only one thing she could do.  
"Good kitty! Who's a good kitty! It's you! Yes it is! Ha ha!"  
She grabbed the cat and hugged them and coddled them and pet them as long as she could.   
"Now I think I was wrong about you."  
"Myark! Myark!"  
"Hehehe. A snarlbeast huh? Is that what they call you in space?"  
"Myark!" The blue furry feline rubbed itself against Mary's face.  
"You should get a name that fits then. How about...um..." Mary scratched her head. "Snarly! How about Snarly! Do you like that name."  
"Myark!"  
"Awww. I do too."  
The beast pipped one last "myark" and fell asleep on Mary's head. Mary stood up and continued her walk home, with a new friend.


	10. It's Only A Matter of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just an average day following the Human Roz and the Irken scientist Mary. Its only a matter of time before she captures Roz, the biggest threat to the empire. Its only a matter of time before the tallest sees her victory and becomes proud of her. its only a matter of time before he fails. its only a matter of time before she's gone. and they're gone. and his life is all gone. And the world is gone. Its only a matter of time. Its only a matter of time. its only a matter of time. Its only a matter of

Roz awoke in her bed to the ugly sunshine of the morning. It disgusts her so. So much so, in fact, that she shut the blinds so hard they fell to the floor.  
She looked at her pig Dum, who sat at the foot of her bed with their favorite toy. That toy being a dead rat carcass. Dum rolled over and with their audible color, spoke a few words of non sensible English.  
"You're my favorite pizza mouse."  
Roz turned back to the bright window.   
"Stupid, giant, bright star ball! Why do you have to be so obnoxiously annoying?"  
Roz arose from her bed and strolled towards her mirror. In it she could see her human skin, human face, human hair, and human eyes.  
"If I make myself look nice for skool, the Mary alien will be intimidated by my amazing presence."  
Roz took out her backpack and hair tie. As she did, her parent called her down the stairs for breakfast. Roz responded in a disgruntled tone.  
In the odd electrical alien house next door-in a large basement room surounded by wires and moniters-stood a smaller, larger headed, squeaky green irken. And Irken named Mary.   
Mary figgited excitedly at the biggest moniter, which displayed a much taller Irken. The two looked almost exactly alike.  
"But my Tallest! You need to!"  
"We've had this conversation a dozen times before scientist Mary. The armada is not going down to Earth to take care of one-"  
"But my tallest! She is aware of my Irken origin. She is a threat to the entire empire and has ruined every one of my research projects! She ruined my night-crawlies report i was going to show you." Mary whined. "I worked so hard on it."  
"Mary."  
"She attacks me at every move! Just the other day that ugly human girl siezed her mutant pig at me! It poisened me. And then it infiltrated my garage."  
"Mary."  
"It used the shock bomb belt sander..."  
"Mary! Taking out someone because they're a minor threat is a waste of time. Your better of ignoring it and going about your day."  
The tallest sighed and proceeded to type in something on a holographic keypad next to him. A portal opened next to Mary. Out of it jumped a tiny blue hued tablet.  
The tallest sounded exasperated. "Take that to relieve the poison. Its chewable, so it's easy to take. It also tastes like blue rasberry."  
The irken girl sighed. Her upset expression caused guilt within the tallest.  
He spoke up. "Listen Mary, this human will go away if you ignore it. Pretend she isn't even there. Nothing bad will happen. I promise. Besides, its oly a matter of time before she dies anyway. From my knowledge they dont live that long."  
The disheartened alien let out a sigh."Alright my tallest."  
"Alright."  
"Scientist Mary...signing off."   
Mary shut the moniter and took the flavored medicine tablet. A blue and fluffy snarlbeast crawled up next to her and rubbed itself on her leg. She picked it up.   
"I'll show my tallest that that Roz is a danger to the empire. And once I get a hold of her and throw her in the chronic tubes I'll be able to continue my reasearch and ill be showered with praise that i captured the biggest threat to the empire yet." The little green girl looked down at the purring pet in her tallons. "The Tallest will be so proud of me. Its only a matter of time..." She looked up in stern determination. "But I must get right to work! That time must be short! To the lab!"  
👽👽👽  
Roz sat beside herself with Dum on her couch, doodling an autopized alien on her tablet. Her human parent kept offering her moldy cookies, but each time they did all they could say was Hello. Even when gretted with this friendly and lovingly loud greeting, Roz continuously declined these cookies with gagging disgust.   
Knock knock.  
Roz angrily got up and dropped the pad onto the couch. As she stommped twoards the door, Roz mumbled under her breath about how if it was another subscription Dum was a part of she would kill the mailer and pose him like a scarecrow to send a message to anyone else who dares touch the door.  
Opening the door provided less then a joyful expression for the human girl.  
"Oh if it isn't the stinky small alien that lives next door. What do you want from me?" Roz was disgusted at the mere sight of her neighbor.  
Mary responded. "I've come to make a truce."  
Roz shouted, "What's a truce?"  
"It's...An agreement..." Mary's green face displayed disappointment and frightend confusion at the response she was given.  
"Anyway," Mary continued, "I wanted to make a truce in which you would surender. The fighting would stop and there would be no more physical problems. And no shouting to the world that I'm Irken. Or putting bees in my base."  
"Hehe. That was fun."  
"Those bees weren't funny."  
"ANYWAY, IRKEN! I think your wrong. It's you," Roz pointed her finger straight into the center of Mary's face, making it squeak,"who should surrender."  
Mary was confused. She swatted Roz's hand away from her face "Excuse me?"   
"Its YOU who should surendur to ME!"  
"Why would I do that?"  
"Because one day I'm going to rule the world! And you will be the technology supplier and personal display monkey that people throw stuff at. Or I might tear you apart to show everyone that I'm so great."  
"I would never agree to that!"  
"But you're the one who wanted the truce."  
"I-oh you-forget it just..." Mary took a breath of polluted Earth air. "How about you come over to my base so we can discuss this more professionally?"  
"Hmmmmmmmmmmm..." Roz thought for a minute and looked up to her ceiling so high her head almost popped off.  
"I don't know," she said, "Oh what the heck. It could be fun."  
"That's fantastic." The Irken let off a sickening pink grin and rubbed her hanew together in delight. She reached out to grab Roz's hand. "Lets go" she exclaimed.   
The human girl became disgusted by Mary's action. "Ew! ew! Get your stinky hand off of me!" Mary refused to let go.  
The girls walked a short distance from one house to the other. Once at the door, Mary took out a set of keys and started to twist a lock.   
"You know, human, I think this is gonna go really well."  
Roz made a sickening grin. "I think so too- AAAAH!"  
With one lock twist, Roz fell through a trap door all the way into the bottom of the base and straight into a test tube. Mary grrined down at the trapped organism and giggled. She had one this time.  
Mary zoomed through her door and past a sleeping Snarly. She slammed herself against the tiled floor that flipped into an elevator that transferred her to the lower levels of the base. All the while, Mary grinned giddily and the fact that she had finally captured the biggest threat to the Irken empire.  
The elevator finally made it's stop at the base's basement bottom. Once down, Mary could see the monster contained.   
Roz could still speak in the amniotic fluids. She banged her enraged fists against the glass. "You smelly green booger! What is this?"   
"Its the truce you fragrant scented shloob. You surender and agree to not trying to kill me or my species by agreeing to being frizen forever. I can study your human race that way too." Mary giggled.   
"NO IT ISN'T! I DONT LIKE THIS! LET ME GO RIGHT NOW-"  
The irken turned on the frezze mode for the tube. Stopping Roz's horrible screching and preparing her display for the tallest.  
Mary initiated the trasmission. She could hardly handle herself she was jumping up and down so much.  
Once the transmission was through, Mary could hardly wait to speak.  
"Scientist-  
"I did it my Tallest! I did it! I did it! I did it!"  
The Tallest was questionable but the little scientist's tone of voice made him excited.  
"Woah woah. What did you do?"  
"I trapped the threat! I caught the human!"  
"You WHAT?"  
Mary stepped aside to show the screen her achievement.  
"Well you see, I lurred the human into my base and there was a truce involved and-"  
"You trapped a human?" The Tallest was ecstatic. Yes she did the exact opposite of what he asked her to do, but he could see it right there. She did it. She caught something that was dangerous and could possibly kill her.   
"Yes I did! Yes I did!" The tiny child jumped up and down.  
"This is both amazing and absolutely horrifying!"   
"I know!"  
"Hold on let me go over there and get a better look."  
Mary was so ecstatic, flapping her arms in joy and waiting in anticipation for the Tallest.   
The Tallest tapped his nails on a holographic keypad next to him. A pixelated portal opened next to him and through it the tallest went. Lab jacket and all.  
Out of the portal and into the dark basement he stepped.   
"So where's the...the human... irken scientist...wait." the joyed expression changed to realization and then to fear. Sweat ran down his flesh toned skin. Hands, each with five fingers, trembling in anxiety. Spiky lightning bolt hair stood on its end, attached to a large fearful head. An epiphany came over him. That epiphany:  
"I'm...not an alien...MARY!"  
Dib ran into every dark corner but couldn't find anything. No signs of life. No signs of movement. So noises of any kind. Not even a hunt of metal.   
The room seemed to go on for ages. No exit and no entrance. And an non echoing silence accompanied Dib's footsteps and screams. No lights, no monitors, and no accompanying beeps or boops. Nothing.  
Another step into the darkness resulted on the stepping of broken glass. Broken glass? From what?  
Dib kneeled down to inspect the glass. He picked it up. It was like ice.  
"What?"  
A humming sound grew louder and louder. It was so loud it was hard to tell where it was coming from. It sounded so inhuman.  
"Mary!"  
Running towards the loudness resulted Dib's wish for blindness.  
Lying on the ground motionless was a cold, dead, non-alien, unmoving little girl. A consistently bloody neon liquid ozzed from her eyes, nose and mouth. It was the material used in her bio-luminescent pupils.  
Dib walked closer and kneeled down to inspect the body as he did with the glass shards. He turned Mary's real face around to find it full of tears and broken to bits. Bruises, scratches, scars. The whole ordeal. But the part that scared Dib the most was her unresponsiveness.   
"Mary! Mary get up! Mary! Wake up Mary!"  
No answer. Not one. Not two. Not three. No movement. It was clear want she was. And what she was, was dead.  
Out of the darkness and blurting through Dib's anxious tears came the humming. The humming that shattered human hearing and crept it's way forward. The humming that had a gigantic moth like figure attached to it.  
It loomed near, it's ocean trench eyes piercing the void around it. Gargantuan wings protruded themselves from the figures back, giving way for four more glaring eyes.  
It's large array of underbite jaws pointed towards it's tiny eyes that failed in comparison to it's long arms and massive hands, in which it's small green body was carried by.  
Dib quivered in fear. He looked up to the looming, monstrous, nightmare version of his next door alien neighbor.   
He stopped the corpse of his daughter and reached for something. Anything to use against the cackling fiend above him. Yet there was nothing to defend himself with.  
The nightmare Roz laughed and slapped Dib into an invisible wall ten feet away with her giant claws.  
Dib crawled his way to recovery and reached for the dropped Mary who was so far away and so close to the alien daemon ahead.   
Nightmare Roz took one look at Dib. And cackled.   
"This is just sad." Her teeth drooled with alien spit like a bulldog. The alien picked up the corpse and smashed it on the ground. The result was a loud scattering of metal plates and crushed child.  
"NO!"  
Dib started darting towards Mary's smashed remains, but was slammed back into the invisible wall by Roz's blood drenched hands.   
The nightmare Roz flew to the end of her arm where Dib was with her loud humming wings. She looked at the distressed man with an unmoving expression.  
"She was all alone. You didn't help that much."  
"Let me go!" Dib struggled to break free.  
"You could have done something and you didn't. You just sat there with your fancy shmancy science tech and did NOTHING!"   
Her scream pierced his ears more than they already were. He couldn't move or talk. He just clutched his ears in agonizing pain.  
"Its really your fault this happened. You know what I was doing. You knew she was getting hurt every day because I beat her up and shot her with lasers." The monster got closser to Dib and looked him dead in the eyes with her soulless ones. "You know what we are."  
"Nrg! LET GO!"  
"AAAH!"  
The nightmare aliens screeching rattled the cold and messy floor. Dib hat punched her square in the toothy jaw. She fell onto the floor in crying pain and covered her face.   
Dib limped over to the Irken child only for her to turn around and look completely human.   
"Huh?" Dib took a step back.  
Shadowy red figures broke free from the ground and started pointing at Dib. Whispering and accusing him of the heinous crime of harming a child. One of these shadows being very reminiscent of the Professor, but with soul stabbing eyes an three bladded fingers.  
"I knew you would do this to me again son: disappoint me like you used to."  
"D-Dad?"  
"It was only a matter of..." The nightmare professor unleashed his claws and attacked Dib. "TIME!"  
Dib fell into an chasm within the void ground. The nightmare Roz grinned sickeningly down at him through the hole with her drooling mouth daggars. She shouted at the top of her lungs into the spiraling hole, putting red cracks in it.  
"STUPID BIG-HEAD EARTH MAN CHILD MONKEY! THE WORLD IS GOING TO FALL BEFORE ME AND SO WILL YOUR SQUEAKY FRAGILE MARY!"   
Dib flailed around the void watching as his nightmare came crashing down on him. Around him he could see the spinning images of deadly shadows. His disappointed family. His shattering career. His past self's flowing jacket. Mary's remains.  
"IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF-"  
The walls were breaking. Each crack came more falling debris that came crashing down onto Dib's head.  
Roz face grew closer and closer but her body stood standing. Her small eyes changed to a ginormous reddish pink hue, not unlike that of a fly. Her eyelashes weren't there anymore, and her teeth grew even sharper. Her face longer and veigny. Her antennae straighter. It wasn't Roz, but that of another Irken. One Dib knew all to well. He saw his reflection in his nonexistent, bloody pupils and shook with fear of the inevitable.  
"TIME!"  
"NO!"  
Dib had woken up from his long nightmare and glanced around his room drenched in smelly sweat. He jumped a bit when he saw Clembrane in the corner of his room mixing a bowl of chocolate pudding.  
"Oh. What are you doing here?"  
"OH HEWWO SON! YOU IS STILL DREAMIN."  
"What?" Dib turned to his bedroom window and saw the nightmare Zim staring back with steak knife claws scratching at the window.  
"OH MIERDA-"  
"AAAHHH!"  
"Good morning son. Or should I say evening. Hoho! Its four o-clock in daylight savings."  
"Dad?"  
Now Dib had actually woken up from his nightmare. And he was surprised to be in the lab sitting next to Professor Membrane.  
"W-what's going on."  
"Well son. You fell asleep during your lunch break. And I took that time as an opportunity to test out my new experiment. The nightmare experiment machine." The professor made an almost villainous pose. Tapping his fingers maniacally.   
"Its is a mechanism that takes what is ones worst fear and makes them experience it as long as they can stay asleep."  
"Oh...okay? But why?"  
Professor Membrane scratched his head. "I don't know. I thought it was a funny idea."  
"To scare me with the gruesome death of my daughter? And bring back horrible memories from my childhood? That was a funny idea?"   
"Erm...uh...well...I just.... I need to go work on another experiment I'll see you later son. Got a lot of science to do so um..."  
And with the sweating anxiety of a condesating poop cola can in room temperature heat after being in a freezer, the professor left to do execute other things.  
Dib was now alone in a machine centered room. A room not unlike that of the room he was in when they placed him in the crazy house for boys. But with some key differences such as the location being in the Membrane laboratories, and the machine was more wiry and blue. Kind of like the W.O.M.B. in the sprawling, city wide, underground lab.  
Dib took small breaths and looked at his shaking hands. Every time he closed his eyes he could see the bio-luminescent bloody liquid from Mary's eyes on his hands.   
He didn't want it to happen. He didn't want to see his life fall apart. He didn't want to see the world end. He didn't want to see Mary die because of his own ignorance. He had to do something. He knew he did.  
The scientist collected himself and took a stroll to his office. He opened the door and stepped into the large space that machinery, cabinets, locked drawers, and miscellaneous Crumpled papers. Every wall was covered in child drawn pictures of family and cryptds, each with Mary's signature. On one wall was a poster, almost fallen off, shouting the phrase: GREATEST INVENTION THE MEMBRANES MADE YET.   
The picture of the invention itself was sagging over the text and had to be re-tapped.   
Dib sat down at his desk and snatched a pencil and paper. A rush of thought and ideas came over him as he started to sketch.   
Sketching and writing and brainstorming a way to save the world. His world.


	11. Unhappy Holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roz is introduced to the disgusting Earth holiday known as Christmas. To win over Santa's favor, she decides that she will give gifts to everybody in town. And that means everybody.

"Quiet! QUIET YOU MISSERABLE SLUGS!" Mrs. Bitters hollered in her crackling voice for the students in the room to stop talking and for the student Listerine to stop climbing backwards on the ceiling lights.

"Ehem...as you all know, the being Santa Claus is making his yearly terrorizing trip back to earth in an attempt to eat the children and gather power and sustinance to his holly jolly soul.

Roz puzzled "Santa Claus?"

"Each of you who celebrates the Christmas holiday is required to write a graded assessment letter to Santa, stating what you want for Christmas. It wouldn't matter though since you are all so horrible and will ultametly get NOTHING!"

Mrs. Bitters held up a template sheet. "Now come and get your papers."

Roz took a sheet and returned to her desk. She noticed however, that Mary did not have a pre-printed letter sheet. But instead she giggled maniachly and sketched herself holding up Roz's decapitated head.

Roz was both scared and disgusted, but shook it off. "So ugly clown-nose human, where is your paper?"

Mary stayed focus on her masterpiece. "I'm not writing one."

"Oh."

The bell rang, class was dismissed and school had ended. 

On the bus ride home, Roz sat behind Mary as she plotted her next attempt to retrieve alien organs from her neighbors stomach and head. Maybe even cut out the tongue while she was at it.

Roz smacked Mary on the forehead from above. Mary flinched and rubbed her head. She peered upwards at the alien in annoyance. 

"So human, who is this Santa Claus that your not writing a letter to." 

"Why don't you ask the person next to you instead of bothering me?"

Roz looked next to her and stared straight at the litteral skeleton with maggots and spiderwebs in its mouth and eyes. 

"He's not responsive."

Mary turned aggravated. "Santa Claus is the jolly fat man that comes down from space and attempts to devour the world in his Christmas fear. My family developed a barrier around the town's of the world that prevents him from killing everyone and splotting them with his candycane legs."

"Canycane? What's candycane?"

"We feed him milk and cookies every year as a satisfactory source of energy. When satisfied he crawls to the next town and leaves presents behind for the nice kids."

"Presents? Like gifts?" 

"Yeah. I don't celebrate it though. A lot of people don't. Charamine, Shoch, Volley, Cola, and Meepmoop don't celebrate it either." 

Roz ducked down into the back of her seat. "So you don't get presents?"

"No my family hates SantAAAH!"

Roz tugged hard on Mary's ponytail and hung her up to face level. 

"Sucks to be you then clown nose! Hahaha!"

"Let me go you jerk!"

A fistfight naturally ensued, like every day on the bus ride home.

👽👽👽

Roz sat in a spinning chair, gazing at all the moniters. 

"Hmmm. It looks like this Santa Claus is a one time deal. If I ask his mesenger what I want he'll give it right to me in 12 days."

The computer who was just about done with everything related to Roz and wanted to delete all data in the hardrive attempted to speak. 

"There's actually a little more to tha-"

"I just need to see him in person!" Roz screammed to the ceiling. DUM! What have you gathered on the Santa helper's dwelling place?"

Dum emerged from the ceiling covered in chocolate. They licked their hand and giggled to themself.

"DUM THIS IS IMPORTANT!"

"Ooooooooh. What is?"

The irken slapped her face and dragged it down. "The Santa slave Dum."

"OH YEAH!" 

Dum shot a paper on the ground from their head cannon. Roz picked it up to inspect it.

"The mall? Hmmmm."

👽👽👽

The line for Santa was so long it's stretched out the mall doors and five miles down by the street next to oncoming traffic. Children were run over.

The child on the mall Santa's lap looked up at him with big bright eyes and handed him the letter. He was so excited to see the big man in red that he cried. 

"Hohoho. Have you been a good boy this year?"

"Yes I haAAAA"

The child was boomed to the other side of the mall by Roz's pak fist. The alien, holding Dum in their dirty disguise looked up at Santa in the same way as the deceased child before her.

"Hohoho. And what do you want for Christmas little girl?"

Roz handed in her letter to the fat man. "I just want weapons of mass dristruction that will make the humans bow down to me as their new master." She blinked like a baby doll. 

Santa didn't even question it. "Hoho and have you been a nice good girl this year?"

"Nice? That wasn't in the memo."

"Well I guess since you haven't been a good girl this year. You won't get any presents."

"WHAT?!?!?!?!"

"Hohohow no need to shout."

"This is STUPID! YOU'RE STUPID! THIS WHOLE PLACE IS STUPID!"

And with that, Roz shot all the people with lasers. When she realized what she had done she darted out the mall with Dum still in her arms. He snatched a candycane from a walking mall customer.

👽👽👽

"COMPUTER YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT BEING 'GOOD!'"

"Ok before you break my glass. I did try to say something but you just ignored me. Santa brings gifts to good children who make people happy and do good things. You don't fall into this nice category. You try to kill people and fall into this naughty category of earth individuals who kill, steal, harm, and dissect."

Roz crossed her arms and stamped her feat on the floor. 

"But that's not FAAAAIIIRRR!"

She sat up and accepted the awnser with annoyance. 

"Fine. If I need to 'be nice' to get weapons of mass destruction. Then I'll be nice...COMPUTER!"

"What?"

"What is a human way to be nice?"

"Well you can give presents to people."

"That's it! DUM!"

The robot sat in a corner holding a scratchoff ticket for top prizes of 5,000 dollars. 

"Why you scream all the time?"

"Get me the names of all the people in this town. We only have twelve days!"

👽👽👽

The next day was a weekend and Snarly sat still in the Membrane household on Mary's head. 

Dib walked over and reached for Snarly's mouth, where a gold key was kept.

The space cat hissed and jumped into Mary's arms.

"You double standard feline. You steal my key to the basement because its gold metal and then you cuddle with someone who has membranium metal arms. I don't get you!" 

Mary took the key out of Snarly's mouth and handed it to Dib. "Here you go Dad."

"Thanks. Whatcha watching?"

Mary gritted her teeth like a copper against steel. "The news."

The TV turned on to Roz giving out little boxes with ribbon and Irken symbols on them. The anchor spoke to the cammera.

"This just in, this sweet green little girl is handing out presents to all the people in town. She plans to give one to every individual in hopes of getting a big gift from none other than the jolly Lord himself, Santa Claus."

The anchor held the microphone to the Roz's face and suddenly the channel changed to a holiday baking show where the cakes looked like sewage.

"Dad why'd you change it?"

"I...don't like that...that news anchor guy he just...he just irks me..."

And so for the remaining days till Christmas the little gremlin alien gave gifts to Earth citizens with less that two braincells to rub together. 

The people of the planet received many interesting objects. Some people received unique gifts. For example, Roz gifted Mrs. Bitters tickets for a trip set in summer, making her exclaim "finally, a reason to live." Even the tallest received a present.

"My Tallest. I have found this small projectile pig wepon within an old Irken base. I thought it would serve you well."

The Tallest Zim held up the toy in confusion. "It's very...thoughtful of you, irken soilder." He threw it at a control operator and knocked him unconscious. "Ha! That was fun."

"I'm glad you appreciate it my tallest. Hehe."

Many other gifts were distributed. Twelve cases of uranium 238, eleven rusty pipes stolen from fire hydrants, ten lorps which were a slug like being from the planet Fleepsing, nine babies crying, eight maimed cows, seven piles of chocolate pudding, six yeast infection cakes, five gold ripped off bird wings, four screeching worms, three dead men, two moldy bubblegums and...

And one more gift to give. Just one more gift. To make someone happy and get the killing machines she deserved. It wouldn't be easy though. Because the one person she had to get a gift for was Mary. 

Roz sat on the couch engulfed in wrapping paper, unable to set herself free from her paper prison. 

"DUM! Help me!"

Dum removed a sheet of wrapping paper with a chainsaw attached to their arm. When Roz popped out she thanked Dum and held up a small present. 

"With this last present, I will have the Santa Claus's approval. I can't wait much longer!"

And so, Roz ran from her house to the Membrane residence next door. She rang the bell in anticipation and begged for this encounter to be over quickly. Dib awnsered the door.

"Oh...Its you..."

"Hello Mary's big-headed parent. I have come with the gift of Christmas. Where is the Mary?"

Dib looked less than thrilled. "She's in her room right now." 

"Oh. Well give this gift to her as a token of the holiday."

Roz gave the wrapped gift to Dib. He responded like a smart-ass. 

"Well in this house, we have a strict no gift policy. We don't trust outside presents unless we get them ourselves."

"Oh. Well-" the door slammed in her face. "Happy peppermint fellow human!" She whispered to herself." Sucess is mine.

Inside the house, Dib ripped open the present. He wanted to see what kind of poison that alien was trying to feed his daughter. 

He found a card in the wrapper in it was written:

Dear pig face,  
I found this in the Irken tech house we were in. The one with the security bots and the orange monster man. Anyways, merry holiday. Have this and enjoy it.  
~Your future overlord  
Ps: you stink

Dib threw the card on the ground and told Snarly to rip it apart. Then he removed the gift from the wrapping. It was a small, long, black, musty coat.

"Is...is this my..."

👽👽👽

Roz prepared herself for the Christmas morn where she would receive her well deserved gift. She picked up Dum and cuddled with them until the morn.

Santa came into the protective dome surounding the town and attempted to break through to the other side. Once met with cookies and milk, he was satisfied and all that remained was the delivered presents. 

Roz awoke early to revive her reward. When she opened the door, she was met with an eliminating present that presented her name on a rather festive label. It read:

To Roz, you have been such a good girl lately. Hohoho and happy holidays. 

"Thanks fat man." The irken eyed the precisely wrapped box with villainous glee. "You have given me all I need for the conquest of the earth races! All will bow down to me..."

Roz opened the box expecting their to be a bone cruncher 50000. But instead, she was met with socks.

Dozens and dozens and dozens of socks.

The socks caused her to go through the first four stages of grief all at once. The Irken then became scared as the socks started to erupt like a long dormant volcano. 

The clothing articles flew to the sky and covered her house. Roz threw the box and flailed around in the foot sweaters. 

"CURSE YOU SANTA CLAUS! CURSE YOU!" 

Dum popped up from the sock pile licking a candycane happily.


	12. Substitute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roz's class gets a new substitute teacher, who's supper nice and gives everyone comic books to read. Except the new substitute doesn't really like Roz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning for anyone that doesn't like abuse or physical violence. This is gonna be the same for the two chapters after this.

"Alright class." Mrs. Bitters coughed and cleared her throat although one couldn't hear her well over the static tv moniter. She was speaking through a live feed device.

"Today I am sick."

The class cheared

"BUT ONLY FOR TODAY!"

The class colectivley sighed in disappointment.

"As I was saying, today you will have a substitute teacher. They will give you all the work I left." There was a giant stack of papers sitting atop Mrs. Bitters's desk. "And they will report to me of any foul play."

Mrs. Bitters glared at Roz and Mary who both whistled in the opposite directions and sweated like toads in a dessert.

The TV teacher turned front.

"They will be here any minute now. I'll see you when I'm back from the plague."

The TV turned static and shut off. Mary turned to Roz and whispered in a harsh tone.

"Listen alien, I hate her more than the last guy who got detention and he hated her guts but whatever you did to our teacher I will expose you for it! So fess up now!"

"I didn't do anything to your nasty teaching lady!"

"She's a teacher! Wench!"

"You're a snot head! Human!"

"That's the nicest thing you've said to me so far."

The door burst open and a dark aura seeped itself into the room. Crawling shadows blacked the windows and crawled into the nostrils of every child, roach, and dead rat in the room. Smoke emerged from the hallways, following a tall figure with a piercing yellow eye. The being stopped in front of the class and appeared as though they were staring into the poor infortunate child souls with disgust and anger. Especially twoards one green student in particular. 

The children gulped at what awaited them in the class today. Roz reached out to Mary's desk and braced herself, Mary looked straight twoards the eye in fear. So did the other students. Many of them hid and most others cried and attempted to run. The smoke cleared.

"Good morning children!"

A confusion rang among the students

The sun began to show again and the air became cleaner. The roaches and rodents started singing. Or they were probably screaming. No one could tell. The children of the room were bewildered at the person before them. A good and nice teacher? With a clean complection? It was more likely that it snowed in the underworld. 

The teacher beamed at the children and took out a writing utensil. They turned around and wrote on the board behind them. 

"My title is Professor Gunk."

"Gunk?" Roz knew she heard that name before.

Professor Gunk screamed in the Irken's face. "QUIET YOU DEFECTIVE MISTAKE!" They coughed and turned back to the front of the class. 

They wore a bright yellow suit top with an equally as bright skirt. Their short hair flowed like a pink watterfal of pepto bismol. They donned a bright backpack with pink neon lights strapped to it. They had metallic parts to them, one covering their whole arm, and one covering their hand alone. The prosthetics both had three fingers and looked advance. But the Membranes are advanced so it wasn't completely out of the norm. The most hating peice of tech she had however was on her left eye, mirroring the right one with two pupils. The left eye tech patch covered a large scar that looked both melted and frozen. This scar seeped to the bottom of Professor Gunk's face as it also tore through her mouth. It was horrifying. She had no visible nose. 

"Now your teacher gave me papers to give to you but I have papers of my own."

The professor smashed Mrs. Bitters's desk in two with a stack full of comic books. Each one was thrown at a student, breaking their neck and skull. Except for Roz, who received a 28 page math packet with high school level problems of slope. 

"Um...teacher? I did not receive a colorful reading book-"

"YOU DO THAT PACKET BY THE END OF THE DAY AND IF YOU DON'T YOU WILL RECIEVE TWO BROKEN LEGS AND A SPINE SNAP!"

Gunk returned to their "joyful" state. 

"Ok?"

"O-ok..."

Roz remained stunned and shook. She started on the packet and couldn't get past question one part A before the bell rang. She attempted to leave but was stopped by the teacher. 

"The bell doesn't dismiss you...I DO! NOW SIT DOWN!"

Roz obeyed without further intrusion 

"You will take this time to finish the questions. Is this clear." She spoke in a sinister tone. Like an evil emporrer.

"Y-yes miss." 

"Good. Very good."

👽👽👽

It is the evening. Squirmed with rabies are roaming the night at the Membrane residence. Mary had gotten home an our ago and was boasting to her dad about how Roz was put in her place by the substitute teacher. And how the alien had to endure a major test while everyone just sat and did whatever. Dib was trying his best to contain a smile.

All of a sudden, the door bell rang, causing Snarly to perk their head up and hiss at the window.

Naturally, Dib arose from the dining room seat and opened the door to great none other than professor Gunk. 

"Is this the Membrane residence?" No hello or anything. Just a question and an almost to big smile. But that was due to the gigantic scar that only widened their face. 

"It's one of them." Dib let out a laugh and welcomed Gunk into his home.

"You must be the substitute teacher Mary was talking about today?"

"Oh...who?"

"Mary. My daughter. She was in your class today."

"Oh yes. The one with the abnormally large head." Gunk retained their happy look and took a personal tour of the house. Dib made an annoyed expression at the ever so present comment the teacher made. 

"Yes that's the one um. So what made you want to stop by?"

"Well I was just passing through. And I saw that your family, ever so powerful and could change the world with the press of a button, was here and I decided to drop by. I'm inspired by that type of thing you know." The teacher picked up a pen and put it into a flower vase, to which the flowers promptly died due to ink poisoning. "All this tech and stuff could really make this world a whole different place..."

"Well that's kind of our moto at Membrane labs. The whole 'making the world a better place part."

Gunk was unamused and pretended to listen. "Mhm yes. You see I wanted to ask a favor of you-HOLY MOTHER OF BRAINS!"

Snarly slapped from behind a lamp that Gunk stood in front of and went right for their arms and eye. Mary slapped after the pet. 

"Oh hi professor. Sorry about Snarly here. They only like one kind of metal. Crazy right? I thought it was funny what you did to Roz today. She really deserves it you know. She's actually an alien-

Gunk was horrified by the sight of the murderous beast before them. What is a beast like that doing in a normal family's household? It looks angry and hungry. They cut Mary short of her speech.

"Oh that's wonderful I think I'm going to leave this house now goodbye!"

And with that they were gone.

👽👽👽

The next day was more or less the same as the day before. Hell. Pure and unrivaled hell.

Mrs. Bitters was once again absent. Therefore professor Gunk was once again the teacher. And once again they gave Roz an unbearable packet to work on.

Roz rose her disgusting claw and atte.pted to get the teachers attention, but to no avail. She tried verbal ques.

"Professor?"

No awnser.

"Professor!"

Nothing.

"PROFESSOR!"

Mary covered her ears and shouted back at her.

"Jeez! Stop Screaming!"

"I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!"

Gunk screamed. "EXUSE ME!"

They strolled over to the green girl with a fake smile plastered on their scarred skin. It's the smile someone has when your in trouble and you know their going to punish you in the harshest way possible for whatever awnser you give. Roz didn't know social cues though, so she thought that she finally got the teachers attention.

"Is there a problem here?"

"Yes professor. I need to use the restroom-"

The professor snatched Roz by the collar and smashed her into a wall. The ringing in her hidden antennae was so loud it drowned everything else.

"Why are you screaming at students in the middle of class?"

"I-I-I-"

"That's not how your supposed to act is it?"

"Let-let me go-"

Gunk pelted Roz into the floor like an anime character and cracked her pak.

"You will stay in this classroom until the end of the day! Any objections?"

"N...no sir..."

"Good." Gunk kicked Roz, making her "ouch" in pain. The teacher then reached into Roz's pak and stole a sour monkeys candy snack bag from it.

"He-hey! Thats-OW!" 

Gunk kicked them again. "You stole things from me. I think it's a fair trade don't you?"

"But...but I didnt-OW!"

"It's sad how your pitifully defective self tries so hard. BRAT!"

And with that last scream, Gunk walked back to her desk and opened a the snack she didn't pay for.

Mary sat at her desk with the biggest grin on her face. She giggled at Roz's absolutely depressing display.

Class ended about an hour later, and Roz left the building with many scars and botches. 

Mary stayed behind with the professor, who didn't really want to talk to her.

"You know sir, that was really cool what you did to Roz today." She tried to sound as sly as she could, putting emphasis on the "really," making it super long.

"Hmn."

"It just. She's so annoying. She thinks she can get away with anything and everything. She's such a snot!"

"That's something everyone can agree on. Now leave-" 

"I just HATE how that stupid alien gets away with everything! It's awesome that you put her in her place though."

Gunk was suprissed. "Wait! What did you say?"

"Oh Roz? She's an alien. She comes from this planet really far away called "Irk." I don't know how everyone else can ignore it. She's green! And she has no ears. She's got round teeth. Three fingers on each hand. Calls humans dehumanizing insults. And she has that weird metal backpack that's attached to her body!" 

Gunk looked at Mary in surprise. Then in thought, then in remembrance, then in determination.

"You noticed that too?" They said.

"You too? Finally I'm not the only one!"

"She's menacing isn't she?"

"Well not really. But she did try to kill my Dad and she's trying to take over the world!"

Gunk leanned in close. "Between you and me I don't like her either. I hate her just as much as you do. If not MORE. Say, you're the membrane kid aren't you?"

"Yep, that's me. Mary membrane! Self proclamed cryptd extrodinare!" Mary struck a pose. Which unimpressed the substitute far less then who she was related to.

"Mhm. Well if you ever want to find me and want to work together on taking that girl down, meet me at that park with the merderous furr beasts."

"You mean Dogs?" 

"Yes those."

Mary jumped up and down. Her eyes sparkled.

"An adult who believes and wants to help me! Taking down Roz is gonna be easier than I thought. Dad's gonna be so proud of me!"

And with that, Mary left the room in spazzing glee. The door slamming behind her. 

Gunk looked at one of their metal hand as their face started to pixelate. 

"Yes it will be little human. Yes it will be."

When Gunk's facade ceased to be, their shredded smile spread from antenna to antenna on their green Irken skin. They laughed vilanously quiet to themself as the sun set over the musty, sewage scented school.


	13. A Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Roz continuously gets pummeled by the substitute, Gunk and Mary hatch a plan to catch Roz, and put on a show at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again there is a little bit of violence.

"Stupid stupid stupid teacher lady!" Roz stammered at Dum. Raging to them about all the anger she had twoards professor Gunk.

"They sound nice to meee!"

"Are you stupid too?" Roz clawed at her wig. "ARG!" She dig her nails deep into her wig, yanked it off and yeeted it to the other room. Then she practicly stabbed her eyeballs and pulled of her sticky gooey contacts like bandaids. Then she grabbed Dum off of the floor, jumped on the couch, and cried.

A voice came next to Roz. "You shouldn't be crying."

"AAAAAAAH!"

Roz turned and jumped to see professor Gunk, sitting on her couch. Her metal glowed in the dark corners of the base. They were in disguise.

"W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BASE?"

"It's MY base!" Gunk faded their disguise away.

"It's MY computer! MY NEO SIR unit! My technology! And my mission! And youve ruined it!" Gunk smacked Roz into the door as their remaining yellow eye fixated on Dum. 

"And of course you made it defective just like you!"

"I AM NOT DEFECTI- OW!"

Roz went flying out the door with Dum, undisguised. Gunk resumed their own. As Roz turned every which way in fear of being shown. 

Gunk pulled out a sharp, laser-like sword from their pak and jumped at Roz with it. The little alien quickly evaded and made their way back into the base. She shut the door, barricaded the windows, flipped on maximum security and listened to Gunk screech in pain from the security knomes Roz put out front.

Once it was all over, Roz peered out the door and notices that the Irken was gone, and that she could breathe again. 

Imediatley she threw Dum on the couch and rushed down to the depths of her lair. Roz slapped on the computer and demanded her computer turn on. 

"MY TALLEST! MY TALLEST!"

The computer sent her straight to voicemail.

"No! That's not good! I need help NOW!"

Roz, shaking like the oil bubbles in a greasser, put her head in her hands. Suddenly, an idea came. An awful, awful idea. For there was only one other person in the whole known universe who would be willing to listen, and who would most likely believe her.

The transmission was connecting. In the meantime, the computer put in a few words.

"So did my actual master pay you a visit?"

"I am your master!"

The transmission went through.

"Did you really just call me to tell me that I'm some type of slave to you?"

"MARY!"

"Stop yelling, alien!"

Roz waved her arms up and down in maximum anxiety. She cleared her throat eventually.

"Ehem! you know that fake teacher that came in for the horrible one?"

"Yeah! The one that put you in your place! Professor Gunk!"

"Yes that one! They're not a human being! They're an Irken as well! And they're trying to steal my mission! I need your not so advanced technology so that I may tale back my mission from that vilanous Gunk!"

Mary sat there for a few seconds in awkward stare in silence so quiet a pin could drop. 

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! An alien? Gunk hates you! They hate you just likle I do and they want to get rid of you for the betterment of the world! Why would they be an alien!"

"BECASUSE THEY'RE AN ENTITLED IRKEN WHO THINKS THAT I STOLE THEY'RE MISSION WHEN THEY STOLE IT FROM ME!"

Mary kept laughing. She whipped a tear from her eye and then suddenly like a robot, resumed a stern and serious tone.

"Listen here you ugly gremlin from far beyond, I know your trying to make me switch from attacking you to attacking another innocent human. But it won't work. You see, we are gonna get together and we are gonna make plans to take you down!"

Trying to take her down? That wasn't good.

"Mary I'm not trying to make you fight someone else, although that would be hilarious. I'm being serious, they're an Irken. They want to destroy your world just as much as I do!"

"Yeah right! Nice try space jerk!" Mary flipped her ponytail as Snarly jumped into her lap. "I'll talk to you later when the professor and I are interrogating you about your home planet." 

The transmission cut off an the screen went static. Roz put her head in her hands and started screaming so loud the neighbors thought it was a siren for the purge.

👽👽👽

The park was just as smelly and as rotten as any other day. With the dog poop everywhere and the dead rats on the ground being feasted on by funky little worms, it was just a usual average Saturday.

Gunk awated the little girl who would provide them with the tools they needed to take it all back. In the corner of their one working eye with two pupils, she saw the prize holding a pink laptop bag. Except the prize was also holding a blue space deamon. 

"Hello Professor." Mary's tone of voice was extremely giddy. She took a seat next to the substitute with Snarly curled in her left arm, much to Gunk's dismay.

"I brought all of my materials and my gathered information about the alien that invades us!"

"Yes yes that's great. Why did you bring that?" Gunk pointed to Snarly.

"Dad told me to take em for a walk. Don't worry, they won't hurt you. Well they'll hurt your arms because they're not made of a specific metal but they won't hurt you."

"What?"

"Oh yeah. They're very picky. They hate any metal that's not membranium because its made with a more liquidy rubber based compound. It's basicly metal flesh. And they don't eat meat and stuff like that. Thats why they're so chill around me dispite my internal structure being entirely composed of-"

"I don't have that." Nor did Gunk care

"Oh...well...keep yourself at a reasonable distance from them."

After this brief conversation. Mary opened up her laptop and began typing. 

"So I've configured a trap that will catch her but only when she's off her guard. The blueprints have electric shock slots in them but I think it be better if I replaced them a spray bottle."

"Where do you keep all of this tech you use?" Gunk completely ignored Mary's trap proposal.

"Oh I make it myself!"

"I thought your family was-"

"Super rich and technologicly advanced then the average human, yeah. Im not allowed to touch some of the stuff they use though. My Dad is overobsessive of stuff and has massive anxiety issues about things going wrong. So i just make things myself with anything i can get my hands on."

"Hm...I see." Gunk paused and thought if there was anyway they could make Mary get the tech for them. 

"So is the proposal good."

Gunk didn't care. "It's...decent."

"Good! I want to get it don't by today so that I can show it off tonight at the annual science show my Grandad puts on."

Gunk's scarred head almost popped of their body. "The what?"

"There's a show every year that the Membrane Labs company puts on to show off they're latest and upcoming inventions." Mary rubbed her hands together sickeningly. "I can show the world how smart and clever I am that I recognised and kidnapped an evil alien that lurked right under the town's nose." 

Gunk questioned without hesitation. "Can you do it by tonight night?"

"Tonight?" Mary responded. "I mean yeah if I break my back and kill my arms and go without breaks I might but-"

"Good. Because your going to present her in front of the audience. And you wont tell anyone ahead of time either. You need to go big." Gunk pulled some materials from their pak and began working with them.

Mary was confused. "Not tell anyone? That doesn't make sense. Why not show my dad before it starts? Wouldnt it make more sense to show it to him before the show instead of interuppting it?"

"I have a plan for that." Gunk muffled a crooked laugh. "Here." They pulled out a small, yellow, drill like mechanism, with a floating pink ball on top of it. The ball was contained by two protruding spikes. It looked like a miniature Irken symbol.

"This will allow you to hack into the program and hog the spotlight for a few minutes. You'll be able to show the world what you've done. It'll be a big suprise." Gunk let out more unsuspicious crooked laughter. 

Mary stood still for a minute and cocked her head. Then rather hastilly, hugged Gunk."Oh thank you so much! You don't have to do this but you are oh thank you professor! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!"

Snarly woke up from all this comotion, yawned, and crawled to the top of Mary's head, startling Gunk. 

Mary spoke. "Do you want me to take that mechanism off your hands?"

"No no no. I'll...take care of it." Gunk crawled upwards and sneakily used their pak legs to straighten themselves. 

"Membrane child! I have to go! But you need to make that thing today and get that brat in it by tonight ok?" The substitute seemed more cheery in these statements, except when they called Roz a brat, which they took on a harsher tone for.

"You got it professor! I won't let you down!"

"Good." Gunk ran in fear, leaving Mary alone with Snarly. The little girl giggled and pet her alien feeline. 

"Soon, Snarly. Soon I'll have Dad's pride and an alien in my grasp."

The blue cat rolled over as Mary continued.

"Although. What Roz said about Gunk. And that mini drill they made. And their three fingered metal hands. And their lack of ears and nose. And their two pupils..."

She put her head down

"Hmm."


	14. A Show to Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roz gets invited as a VIP to the Membrane's science show. Little does Roz know, there's others waiting for the Irken's presence backstage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another violence warning. There's a big fight and one person looses an arm. Tw for blood as well.

Roz pased herself around her base, pondering everything she could possibly do to avoid her enemy and take over the world before they do. She spat ideas out like bullets. Ideas like "burn their face, but they have burns already" or "Rip off their pak and give it to Mary so I can be left alone, oh no wait that's bad for me because then they would turn to me because I have a pak and I AAAARRRGGG!"

Roz smacked her head several times. "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" She shouted so loud she woke the neighbors. It was 8:00 pm.

Just as Roz started to shed a single tear in frustration, a the base's doorbell rang.

Roz jumped to the door with her disguise and embraced for the worst. A panel with a big red button on it slowly rose from the floor. Roz hesitant, to press it, thought of Gunk at the othersidse of the door, ready to distabalize her pak and snap it to an Irken plaque and present it to the tallest saying, "This is Roz, your most prized Irken invader, lost to a scrubby nasty loser like me." And then they would get a prize and take over the world and would kill the membranes and it was to scary for Roz to even think about.

Roz took a shaky breath and pressed the button with rattling claws. The door swung upwards to reveal... Professor Membrane.

Roz lifted a brow. "Old science Membrane guy?"

The professor leaned down.

"Ohoho. Hello little green friend of my Grandaughter's!" He pushed back his grey, lightning hair. "I bet your wondering what I'm doing at your house so late at night?"

Roz responded, "I am wondering."

Membrane responded to this response,"Well child, my grandaughter has admired to me that you two haven't been the closest of friends lately..."

Roz thought that the words "friends" and "closest" we're huge overstatements for their relationship. But Professor Membrane went on.

"So I thought that you two could become closer, by coming to the annual, Membrane Labs science show tonight." He held up a langer with ML symbols and a pug pin on it. "I got you a VIP pass for it."

Roz barely had time to think about what she was doing. What even was this science show, she thought.

"Uh...sure- AAAAH!"

Professor Membrane snatched Roz by the pak and held her like a ball. 

"Great!" He proclaimed, "Off we go!" 

And just like that, Professor Membrane slapped like a supper hero and flew to the show, with a wriggling and screaming Roz in his grasp. 

This left Dum back at the base, as they walked to the door and witnessed Roz's departure, they pulled out a bedazzled phone and started ordering a large meal from a local fast food restaurant. A very, VERY, large meal.

👽👽👽

As Roz and the professor flew overhead. A large dome that resembled the professors head came into view. Thousands of people crowded the perimeters of the dome, many trying to fight the guards to get in. Screaming like rabbid animals and using food as assault weapons, yet making next to no progress in getting in the building. News anchors posted outside were either trampled, or tackled by the crowd. It was a bloody battlefield down there, so it was good that they we entering the backstage of the building from the roof. 

Professor Membrane swooped down into a square opening in the dome's ceiling. Roz continued squirming until they both landed and she was dropped with a tiny thud on the floor. 

Professor Membrane whipped his hands an leaned down to the small alien.

"Well that was fun wasn't it?"

"No."

He gave a closed mouth laugh. "Well I hope you enjoy the show. There's a special seat that has been prepared for you over there." 

He pointed to a compfy looking, red leather seat that faced a gigantic wall the other side of which, was the stage.

"Alright. I'll be going now. If you see my grandaughter, say hi to her for me."

And with that the professor left Roz in the darkness of the back stage. It wasn't total emptyness though. There were some neon lights, a large clock to display the time, exit signs, refreshments, a computer setup, and that leather chair, just for her.

Roz stood up. "It's very smart of them to think of me like this. For once these humans treat me like I should be." Roz flipped her wig and gave a "hmph" like a preppy elementary school spoiled child, and walked twoards the chair. Although she couldn't shake the feeling of anxiety that pumpped in her sqeedelyspooch. 

She climbed the chair and made an astonishing realization. The chair was incredibly comfortable. The leather was so cushioned and soft that Roz sank right in, making herself incredibly comfortable. Roz also noticed. that the chair had a cup and snack holder. With a mechanical spray bottle in it?

"What?"

SNAP SNAP!

Two cuffs wrapped themselves around her legs like seatbelts. Panicked involved the young Irken.

"HUH?"

SNAP SNAP SNAP!

Cuffs wrapped around her arms and waist, attaching her to a chair.

"W-WHAT IS THIS? UNHAND ME!"

One last SNAP was let out as a cuff was wrapped around Roz's mouth, permitting her from talking or making any loud, piercing noises.

She couldn't believe it, but she definitely did. Roz walked straight into a trap.

A pair of Blue eyes and a singular Yellow eye came into view from the darkness. Both a human disguised Gunk and Mary leaped from the shadows to Roz's trapping chair. Both looking fancy as ever.

"Comfortable, Alien?" Mary looked so viciously proud of herself. "I made it myself." 

"MHMMMMHMM!"

Mary giggled at Roz's struggling. She turned to face the wall separating her from the vast audience. "Hehehe! Soon the curtains will open and the world will thank me as I expose to them the horrors that have dwelled upon this earth for months on end! And they will cheer as I have saved them from utter damnation! What do you say to that?"

Mary unhooked the lock around Roz's mouth. Which was a horrible decision on everyone's ears.

"YOU UGLY BLUBBER WORM! LET ME GO!"

Mary smirked and turned to Roz. "No I don't think so." 

Roz struggled even more. "I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOU! HEY!" 

Roz jerked as Gunk starched her wig and ripped it to shreds. 

"Don't you think it's about time you stopped this little game of yours?" 

They stuck their metal thumbs into Roz's sockets and ripped out her sticky contacts. It hurt like tge hottest fires on planet Schorchellz. The pain lingered in pink veigns on the edges of Roz's eyes.

"It gets annoying after a while" Gunk stated.

As Roz started to weep in pain. Gunk stared at Mary and tossed her the yellow drill. The determined girl caught it after it danced in the air for a few minutes. 

"Go put that into the computer. There will be an option to 'present.' Code will seep through into the computer, and it will allow me to take over the presentation."

"You got it professor!"

Mary hurried to plug the drill in the software, while Gunk stayed behind and bent down to Meet Roz's eye with their own. They cracked in the tiny Irken's face.

"And the lab. Including it's technology."

"MARY DID YOU HEAR WHAT THEY SAID- OW!"

Gunk snatched Roz's antennae and spoke to her in the harshest tone known to any kind I'm the universe.

"Listen here you defective peice of Irken filth. And don't scream at me with your unwashed filth mouth. You are far beneath me both in height and in intelligence. This game of yours has gone on for long enough! It has cost me me everything from my sight, to my mobility! This is my mission and my planet! In less than a minute, I will have successfully invaded this planet! Something I could have done months ago and something you could never hope to acomplish! I, INVADER GUNK, WILL RECLAIM MY MISSION AND PUT AN END TO YOUR CHILDISH-"

"So you are Irken..."

"Huh?"

Gunk turned around to see Mary staring at them in anger. On the moniter was the present option, with an Irken insignia under it.

Gunk protested. "D-Don't let this silly little alien get into your head Mary! I'm not an-"

Mary ripped out the drill and threw it at Gunk's eyepatch, causing the hologram disguise to fade off in pixels. Transforming the fancy pink dress into a golden militaristic Irken uniform. And their short pink hair into long, bent, and twisted antennae.

"Ow you little Brat!"

"I trusted you!"

"I don't need you to trust me. In fact I dont need you at all."

Gunk pulled out a their pak leg and thrusted it towards Mary like a harpoon. Mary dodged the attack with quick ease, sending the leg straight into the software, shattering it instantly. The leg stuck itself into the debris.

Gunk cried "NO!"

Roz fake cheered in her imprisonment. "That was amazing! I knew you could- OW WHY TURN IT OFF." Mary activated the spray bottle on Roz's chair, spritsing her with the pressure of a firehose, burning Roz's skin as if if was hit with acid.

Mary looked in suprise. "Huh. I had a hunch about the water thing but I didn't actually think it would work." Mary shrugged and returned to glare at Gunk.

"I thought you were going to help me. I thought you actually cared. I actually wanted you to be human." The little girl took steps twoards the taller invader. 

"I guess that was really stupid. Wasn't it?"

Roz gwaked at the obvious question. 

"Yes! Yes it was!"

The spray bottle resumed it's spraying and so did Roz's screaming.

Gunk struggled, but eventually pulled their pak leg out of the shattered computer. As the silver stab weapon pulled itself back, Gunk balanced themself and got ready to attack. Mary readied herself to.

Gunk lunged forward at Mary but she evaded and jumped to a higher level, ripping a bar from an iron bridge leading to the front left wing in the dome. 

Gunk leaped up to Mary and pulled out four of the sharpest, shiniest pak legs the the universe has ever known. The sharp tips started drilling rapidly. One touch was enough to spill a hand all over the floor. 

Quick jabs struck the bridge and Mary continued to miss them. One of them hit the iorn bar, breaking it away like a chainsaw to wood. Mary threw the bar at the aliens face and ran to the front section of the theater. Gunk followed pursuit, leaving Roz behind in her compfy red prison chair, with the faint sound of some sort of cat.

The brawlers continued above the stage. No one pays a them any mind as the presentation continued.

Mary ripped another bar of of the bridge railing and continued to wack away the knives that came raining her direction. When they got stuck in the floor beneath them, Gunk pulled off flips, spins and punches. Mary dogged them within an inch of her hair.

They berated eachother as they fought to the death.

"You just had to be different, didn't you? You couldn't only have one braincell like the rest of your pitiful Earth race?"

Mary sidestepped under Gunk's punches. 

"It's too bad that I'm not like them. I'm just a little bit, like you said..."

Mary zoomed past the invader, made a u-turn, climbed on their back and stabbed their pak. It didn't kill them, but it definitely broke some glass, and a couple legs. 

"Different!" Mary stated, sweat pouring down her face.

Mary became distracted however, as downstairs, her father was revealing a massive project to the entire world.

"And to conclude this presentation," he said, "we at Membrane labs would like to introduce you a representation of our pride and care into making the world a better place, safer for everyone by ridding the world of evils and dangers..."

A concept image of a tall, sturdy, clean, ML branded robot with one blue eye manifested on the screen. 

Dib shouted in joy and determination. "The SECURE bot! The smartest robot known to man kind!" He smiled. "I'm so proud" he said with a shaky yet positive voice as the audience cheared.

Mary gasped in suprise, yet you could hear a hint of hurt in her voice. "What?" She spoke, a little shaky. 

Gunk used this opportunity to flip over and pin Mary to the ground. Gunk put the child in a choke hold as Mary desprateley tried to get their metal claws off. Gunk gasped for air as their fury reached its maximum. They were fed up with all the inconveniences. A sharp spinning slicer emerged from their pak.

"I hate the first annoying little girl way to much. I don't feel like taking on another."

The saw reached Mary's nose, ready to slice in. But at that time a blue and fluffy projectile was yeeted at high speeds towards Gunk. 

Snarly hit Gunk straight in the back, formed into its true beast, and knawed at every piece of metal Gunk had on. Including their eye piece.

"AH AH AH! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!"

Roz screamed in joy behind Gunk in succession. "YES! RIGHT ON TARGET!"

"Roz!" Mary quickly got up and ran to the smaller alien's side. "Wait, how did you get out of the chair?"

"The beast bit the steel cuffs and tossed me out."

"Ah..."

They watched as Gunk was tossed into the air and dragged to the floor. If the cheers from the audience weren't so loud enough, the event would have been heard downstairs. 

"You know what's funny?" Roz asked.

Mary replied "what?"

"I hate them will all of my being. But I like what they call themself."

"Their pronouns?"

"Yeah I like them. I think I'm gonna use them now."

"Cool. Yeah when you find something you like it feels good to call yourself by that."

"OH VENGEFUL MIGHTY MYUKI MAKE IT STOP!"

"It'll feel good when your world is calling me by my preferred and propped titles when I take it over."

"MAKE IT STOP!"

"Yeah I'll respect your pronouns but I definitely don't respect you." 

"AAAAAAAAH!"

"That's fair."

In their conversation, the kids watched as the Membrane's fluffy little friend tore off one of Gunk's arms and the metal rod, still protruding from their pak.

When she thought they had enough, Mary whistled to her pet. Snarly resumed their tiny form and crawled to Mary's side very cute-like. 

"Had enough yet?" Mary asked, petting her space monster as reward for their efforts.

Gunk stood up, huffing and puffing their big green head off. Their entire left arm was gone, a pink oozing liquid dropped from it's place, staining the floor. The invader took two steps forward. 

Roz snatched the snarlbeast and pointed it in Gunk's direction. Gunk widened their eye and jumped backwards in response. 

"Don't! DON'T! POINT THAT THING AT ME DO NOT!"

"Toss it at you again you say?" Roz made a smug face. 

"NO! NO DON'T!"

Mary put in a sugestion if Gunk didnt want do get maulled again. "Then leave this planet!" 

"Oh don't hold your breath stink mammal! Even if I leave, I'll come back!"

Mary responded. "And if you do, Snarly will find you again."

"And I'll break your spine for trying to take my mission!" Roz pushed in Mary's squeaky face to proudly make this statement.

"Your mission? It was my mission! And my ship! And my NEO SIR unit!"

Roz pulled back their arms, ready to throw Snarly once more. Gunk pulled out a small, Irken branded device and started dialing. "It doesn't matter what you think or what annoying games you play, this will always be..." They stopped dialing on their device as it floated and hovered above the tall alien. 

Gunk was pixelated into the device. But before their head disappeared they uttered two final words they hopped would be engraved into the children's brains.

"My planet." 

The device then shot itself through the roof of the dome and into space, where it would not be seen for a while.

Mary snatched back her fluffy space abomination and gave Roz a harsh look.

Rod stuck their tongue out mockingly at Mary and leaped from the floor to the hole Gunk's device created.

"Welp!" They said "back to my regularly scheduled 'invading the Earth.' Ahahahaha!"

Roz dissapeared into the dark night. Mary thought of going after them, but she was just drained. Not only from the fight, but from other, more mental and confusing things. Like her father's new robot that he was so proud of that he almost cried for.

Mary saw this as a challenge. She should stop saying that she is going to stop Roz. Stop saying she's going to expose them. Stop using machines and alien capturing inventions that don't actually work.

Do it yourself. She thought. Go further than just kidnapping and exposing. Go big, or go home to a dad who's more proud of an emotionless husk than you. It doesn't matter if he says he's proud. You actually have to make him proud by doing something. You need to spill their guts to the world. You need to snap their pak off and decode it. You need to study and see what makes them tik tik tik. You need to put the needle in them, slice them open, drain their blood and dissect them yourself. Do you want to see yourself get replaced by some scrap peice that's doing what you've been doing for months? Do you want to make them all see? Do you want to make them proud? Do you want to make him proud?

She spoke out her last thought. 

"Go big or go home." 

And with that. Mary followed suit after Roz. Into the cold dark night.


	15. Bug Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roz finds a new fascination in insects of all kinds. This could be a new opportunity for world domination, and fun but they'll never say. Mary plans on catching Roz in a nice little web, since they wanna be a bug so bad.

It's a lovely day outside. The sky is a somewhat blue with puffy vomit green clouds, the birds are choking and exploding, and the bugs are EVERYWHERE!

Cockroaches by the thousands have crawled from their nasty little sewage dens. Praying mantises have gone to war with beetles and flies, and have begun eating hornet skulls to show dominance and power. Moths have crowded in the forests to conduct mothman spawning rituals. And vampire bees have begun to turn their victims one by one into honey loving freaks. 

Dum gazed out the window lovingly at the complete insectocolapse before them with their one working eye.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It's so pretty~ MASTER!"

"Ya?" Invader Roz, the greatest and most terrifying invader the universe has ever known besides the Almighty tallest Zim, popped their head from the kitchen room.

"Are we gonna go for a walk today?" Dum sat upside down on the floor under the window, and kicked their little legs on the wall. 

"No. I don't have plans for a walk today. As you can see I'm very busy."

Roz stepped away from the kitchen room reveling they were wearing a puffy burgundy apron that said kiss the cook in big bubble letters, stained with batter from Spork knows what baking monstrosity.

"I'm making the earth cuisine called pancakes." The little Irken waved around their spatula. "Since those cookies didn't work, I'm trying something new. This time it'll be poison irk flowers in the mix. 

"LET ME TASTE EM!"

Dum ran up to Roz and tried to grab the baking tool from their mitt covered claw. Roz lightly swatted at Dum.

"No it's not for you! It's for those students and that Bitter lady teacher. She gave me a -B on my science test."

Roz sighed. "Its missing something though. I followed that recipe through and through and it still doesn't taste right. I even put in some that sleepy night time dopey medicine Mary's parent keeps in that annoyingly high cabinet."

"Oooooooo. You stole from the neighbors?"

"Hey that squeaky brat steals from me all the time. Just last week she stole my wig and I had to make a new one with pigtails!"

Roz scratched her head while Dum sneakily licked the spatula.

"But still there's something missing...."

"HONEY!"

"Ho-what?"

"Honey from the buggies makes the food taste good."

"Dum what are you blapping about?"

"The buggies out there." 

Dum pointed to the window, showing the allergenic buzzing Hellscape the world had become. But more importantly, that were pointing at the bugs. One of which landed on the window sill.

Roz walked over and looked at it. A green dragonfly, though the alien didn't know it. They watched as the bug's wings danced and fluttered. It's magnificent scales reflecting the fire in the streets. And then just like that, the bug hovered and flew away.

Roz was left stunned. Amazed. Fascinated most of all. They dropped everything and turned to scream at the base.

"COMPUTER!"

"Ugh Jesus ...what?"

"Tell me everything about the earth buggies! Right now!"

👽👽👽

Not even five hours later Roz was five pages deep into gooble search on bug migration and life spans. Their eyes grew as big and bright as the sky as they scrolled and scrolled and scrolled all the way until the computer complained that an overheating was needed and shut off.

"Hmph! Fine shut off then. What time is it anyway?" 

The clock beside Roz said 12 AM. And it was pitch dark outside. With fireflies and crickets dancing and screeching rampant in the streets.

Roz sat on their porch and watched them closely. A fixation that took all of their time and attention away from their bigger plans of total world takeover. 

Roz watched them fly. Watcha the bugs fly into the air, one mosquito of which flew up oh so delicately to a human, and drank it dry of all fluids. All that was left was a dry crusty corpse of skin and bones. 

Roz exhaled. "If only I could fly up and strike these humans from above with the force of a thousand ravenous suns...wait a minute."

Roz remembered that bugs have little wings on their backs that pop out of pak like shields. They remembered that they have an advanced super computer, and advanced tech that can alter and make robotic adjustments to their own pak. 

"I CAN DO THAT! COMPUTER!" Roz dashed from the base porch to their basement.

All the while, a little squeaky nosed neighbor next for listened attentively and took notes from behind her fence. 

"Bugs huh? You wanna be even more of a nasty bug then you are? I can work with that." 

Mary gave a maniacal chuckle, turning into a maniacal laugh. After which a lanternfly hopped into Mary's throat, causing her to choke for a few seconds. 

"Hack! stupid jumpy lantern fly! Bleh!"

👽👽👽

Under the earth, deep in the ground like a working ant, Roz was finishing their biggest masterpiece. They were sitting ever so impatient and excited. Thinking of all the new possibilities for world domination, and new opportunities to mess with Mary. 

As the drills and polishers halted on Roz's pack, their anxiousness went up by ten fold. Once the computer said "it's done." Roz made an eight foot vertical leap into the air and up into the ceiling. 

Dum strolled over to the spot Roz jumped from and looked around to find them. 

"Master? Master where's you go?"

All of a sudden Dum was swept into the air like prey in the gallons of a vulture, but it was actually just Roz. Using their new pak wings, gliding all around the room, and dancing, twirling and spinning around, both Dum and Roz shouting WEE and giggling.

Once they settled down and caught their breaths. Roz turned to show off their new wings. 

"They're amazing aren't they Dum?"

"Ooooh!" Dum scrunched their face. "So pretty like glass!"

Indeed. The wings were reflective, like a real insect's scales. Only this time the reflections were cause by holographic visuals, made by the outer rims if the wings, which were just the pack legs folded up. 

"I'm gonna abuse these like the smelly humans abusing the fresh toilet papers."

Roz grabbed a bunch of stuff on a table beside them. Powdered acid, big ray guns, laser pointers, itchy poison darts, cartoonishly evil electrical leaches, and honey. Before leaving the Irken popped in their pigtails wig and contacts.

"Hehehehe~ Soon the world will bow before me."

They turned to Dum before hitching an elevator ride to the ground floor and outside. 

"Don't eat the pancakes while I'm out." There were no promises made.

What a beautiful day it was though. It seemed much calmer this morning compared to the day before where sacrificial ceremonies were being had by cicadas and butterflies were carrying their victims to the sky. The sun was bright and the wind was blowing. And the humans were all skipping and hopping in the streets, playing games and what not. 

But the humans didn't know their games were about to get more serious. 

A small pack of children were playing a fun game of double cross under an unlit street light, which Roz flew up to the top of unspotted. They pulled out a small bag of powdered acid. And sprinkled it on the unsuspecting victims. 

Cheat songs became bloodcurdling scratches as the powder seeped into their spinal Columns. The double ditching got faster, to the point where the net caught on fire like the eyeballs on the children due to the powder. It was like watching flailing jesters.

"Yes! Dance! Dance for me you noisy pigs! AHAHAHAHAAH!"

Once Roz got bored of the performance, they moved onto the next victims. A lady and her boyfriend beside her, sitting lovey dovey on a park bench under a tree perfect for perching and hiding wasp nests. 

The woman stood up and got down on one knee to propose her love in such a boring and non exciting way. It needed more buzz. More sting. More sweetness if you will. The buzz factor came from the knocked over wasp nest, the sweetness came from the honey flung at their faces, and the sting came into their mouths and on their skin as they gasped for mercy. 

Eventually the Irken invader got bored of that to. So they moved on to the next victim, and the next, and the next, and so on and so forth. 

They pored the cartoonishly evil electrical leaches on a pool of unsuspecting teenagers, hooked up later pointers so that they would reflect off of their pak wings and into the eyes of politicians, zapped ray guns at hot dog carts from up high, and did the same with itchy poison darts to a bunch of construction workers. 

The tortures left the humans in unimaginable pain. Screaming and running like it was the day before. Many swollen and oozing mucus from allergic reactions. Most on fire due to chemical reactions. Nobody was spared in the onslaught.

Roz was having way to much fun, and didn't feel like stopping any time soon. Just then, from atop a roof, they saw the next perfect poor soul who would become bee meat.

A certain big headed scientist just strolling along.

Roz had found a small hive five minutes back, and kept some bloodthirsty vampire bees from it in a jar. And those bad boys packed a sting and bite more harsh then a viper's choke or a kangaroo kick to the urethra.

The perfect opportunity arose. Roz loosened the lid on the jar, when suddenly a small white hand wrapped itself around their wrist.

"What the-YAAAAAAAARG!"

Roz was yanked backwards into the clutches of a familiar neighbor. Clad in a bug catcher's outfit, bulky backpack, and a cute pink bandana. 

"Having fun ALIEN?"

Roz squirmed in Mary's grip. "Perhaps" They stated.

"Y'know, if your planning on infecting my dad with vampire bee venom, then you're out of luck. He's already been infected, and has a honey addiction." 

"That explains all the jars of honey in the medicine cabinet."

"How do you know about that cabinet?"

"I-"

"Wait, not important." Mary switched to a more sinister tone, and held up a very large bug net. The net itself was three times her size, and in the opening had spikes radiating some type of gaseous substance. 

"Do you know what this is? Since you wanna be a bug and all. You should know."

"Ha! Is that one of your silly little traps. Please Mary this isn't chapter 2 anymore. I thought we moved past-"

Mary didn't wait for the Irken to finish, as she saw a rat crawl alongside them and caught it with the net. Once inside the gasses filled the rat's lungs and kept it barley alive as it tried to keep hold on it's mortal coil. When it tried to get up the ends of the net electrocuted the rat. 

"Oh," Roz responded, "I see the traps your making have gotten a bit more...advanced.

"I'm done playing games Roz, I'm not just trying to kidnap you or staging you to my Dad's lab."

Mary pulled out a host of small needles and knives. 

"I'm gonna take you out here and now. I don't care if I get your blood on the street. Its time for the world to know what you are. And what better way to show them than in bored daylight." Mary turned to the sun. 

"I'll be their hero. Their defender. Their- OW!"

Roz kicked Mary in the face and fled the scene. Mary chasing after them.

"GAT BACK HERE YOU FLYING FREAK!"

"YOU'RE ONE TK TALK YOU BLOATED GROUNDHOG!"

The chasing went on for a few houses. Kick my this time, there were no obstacles or people to push away, just the hurdles of houses to jump over. 

Mary kept swinging the net but to no avail. The end of the road was coming up, and Mary knew she couldn't jump that far, so she dropped the net and clung onto Roz's wings like a parasite, dragging the alien down to the ground below. It was easily a three story drop. 

The two kids fought until Rod shook off Mary, watching her plummet to the street below. 

"YOU JEEEEEeeeeerrrrkk!"

Roz smacked their hands together and gave a smirk as they turned back to dastardly deeding. But a blooming shadow cast over them, covering the sun as they tried to leave.

"Going somewhere?" 

Roz spun around to face Mary. Now it six, no, eight robotic legs protruding from her bulky backpack like a spider. 

"Your not the only one who upgraded."

On each side of Roz was a leg. There was nowhere to flee. Nowhere to go. But then they noticed something. The legs weren't stiff. They were flexible. Like rubber tubes and pool noodles. This gave the Irken an idea.

Rod flew inward towards the back legs and Mary lunged after Roz's wings. The legs snapped to grab Roz but ultimately they were to fast and the legs ended up chasing alien tail. 

"Why won't you stay still?"

Roz kicked Mary like the little green gremlin they were and pulled down their eyelids and they evaded the tendrils. 

"Nyan nany nya nya!"

"AAAAGH!"

In Mary's rage, one of the legs punched Roz into a wall, breaking their wings and blurring their vision.

Roz didn't hear the thud on the other side of the street. But they did watch for the leg that just came within an inch of grabbing their face.

Roz looked over to the other side of the block and saw that the plan had succeeded. Mary was wrapped in a web of her own entanglement.

Roz laughed as Mary struggled to un-knot herself.

"Curse you stupid alien! BLAAAAAHG!" 

Roz felt awful. A fully proud of themself for besting the enemy ya. But awful. Their wings had busted and needed repairs. An easy fix that would take hours. But to pull more stunts like the ones she had today. It would be worth it. 

As Mary continued to struggle. Roz felt it would be all the more sweeter if she had some friends to struggle with. So Roz quickly opened the jar of vampire bees, blew one last mocking raspberry, and fled the scene to repair their wings.


End file.
